Friday, March 12, 2010

Profiling Myself (Part 4: More Emails)

Here are a couple more choice emails from potential online suitors! Keep in mind that these emails represent THE VERY FIRST CONTACT between us. Best foot forward and first impressions are forever and all that jazz.

This one, had the subject line "lol, seriously!" About what exactly, I have no idea:

in reading your profile, you seemed like someone with a lot of side-kick potential.

(i'm looking for someone who's prospective gf-material characterized by her wit and attitude, if you don't have that, feel free to look elsewhere :P )

so, are we snack compatible?

Which do you prefer: Pretzels, Pringles, or chocolate?

And this one which BOGGLES THE MIND:

Hi how are you? I wanted to let you know first off that I think you are absolutly beautiful. Your smile caught my eye. Well I wanted to send you an email because I would like the opportunity to get to know you a little bit better and see if we are possibly a good match. Let me tell you a little about myself. I am a 25 almost 26 year old man. Truthfully I am into almost anything. I love the outdoors, but I also enjoy staying in, cooking a nice dinner and watching a movie. I love sports, I grew up playing almost everything. I use to be a DJ so music and dancing are a huge passion of mine. Really I just like to have fun and enjoy my time with the people I care about. So when I told some of my friends I was going to use this web site they asked me why and I feel it is important to let others know as well. I am a very goal oriented person and I am working toward s my career goals each and every day. So because of this I don't have a ton of time to find the right person for me. Also I am over going out at night and trying to meet someone because I very rarely find someone that is looking for the same thing as me which is a relationship. I am looking to meet that person that I can spend the rest of my life with. I am a committed person and I pride myself in that. But anyway, I hope this is enough information to be a good ice breaker. But like I said, The first thing that caught my eye was your smile and just how beautiful you are. But after reading through your profile I began to become more and more attracted to you. You seem like a very interesting and fun person. I hope you feel the same way about me and I hear back from you so that we can get to know eachother better and see where it leads to.

This feels to me like one of those essays where you don't have quite enough to say but you are BY GOD going to make it to the page limit so you add a bunch of filler words and widen the margins. Someone should tell this dude about Courier New.

[Check out my profile here, my list of desirable characteristics here, and other emails here.]