1. My ten year old niece. Who got in trouble at school for saying the word "dude." A boy in her class was picking on her so she turned around and just said "DUDE!" and the yard teacher benched her. So, basically, my niece is badass.
2. My new piece of art that I found at a flea market for ten bucks. It's a painting of a turquoise antelope on a piece of copper. Hello new focal point for my kitchen shelves.
3. Also in the photo above-- that BOWL. I've had it for a few years, but recently zenned it into a key/things from my pockets receptacle. I used to lose my keys on a fairly regular basis amongst the random assortment of things that tend to accumulate on the couch, the table, or the kitchen counter. I think I've finally bested them. WHAT NOW, KEYS?
4. The following underused words, which I am reintroducing to my vocabulary:
Donkey- As in, "Quit being such a fucking donkey."
Bozo- As in, "Quit standing there like a goddamn bozo."
Buttocks (Pronounced like butticks)- As in, "I dislike it when gentlemen at the club fondle my buttocks without permission."
5. Being on the phone with Jenny after Gabriel's bedtime. You get to hear her shout thinks like:
"No, I don't believe that you need to go to the bathroom. Because you've gone to the bathroom three times in the past twenty minutes. Unless you have a urinary tract infection you do not have to pee again. What's that? You managed to squeeze out four more drops of pee? CONGRATULATIONS."
And: "No! I'm not telling you how to spell any more words! It's p-o-l-i-c-e! No! Not again! Sound it out!"
And: "IT'S AN HOUR AND A HALF PAST YOUR BEDTIME, YOU ARE SURROUNDED BY PAPER AIRPLANES, GO TO SLEEP! NO! I'M NOT TELLING YOU HOW TO SPELL ANY MORE WORDS!"
6. Those twirly bobby pin things that ACTUALLY DO hold my hair up and out of my face all day long.
7. Texts from my dad.