Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas!

Just a little something. From my heart to yours:

 (Yes, that is indeed Hugh Grant. It's a fake 80s music video from the movie "Music & Lyrics." I feel like a lot of people didn't see it because it looked so cheesy. Well it was. But this scene? Genius.)

Wednesday, December 23, 2009


Okay, Amazon, what the hell is this? If I'm looking at shovels you immediately assume that I might also like some blankets and AXES? How about some rope, too? And maybe a map of the desert where I could dump the body?

Livingroom: Before (And I'm on break!)

This quarter has been, well, HARD. Really really effing HARD. There was school. And clinicals. And work. And my, ahem, extracurricular activities. So I actually didn't finish my last two papers until yesterday. But now I'm done! Yay!

So I kind of put my organization project on hold for the month of December. It wasn't intentional, I just... never got around to it. So I guess I will be starting with the March month of my book in January. Maybe if I skip enough months I'll be right on track! March involves "organizing the buisness of life" which I guess means one's home office. My "home office" is my kitchen table/desk and the bookshelf behind it.

My home office:

So I have come to realize that the problem with zenning one room at a time is that whatever room I am not working on tends to take on disproportionate clutter and mess:

Notice the broken mini dresser? And my old computer? Those would be carryovers from my bedroom zen. I guess I can't use that excuse for still having my crappy old suitcase but seriously Bowie can't get enough of it. The only reason he isn't laying on top of it in this picture is that I was sitting there doing my homework and he wanted to lay on my books and be in my personal space.

I also have not yet zenned my closet, resulting in this:

Yep. That's my couch. Sometimes it is also the place where I fling my clothes. Looks like I have my work cut out for me.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Things I've learned while single: An incomplete list.

Guys don't like it when you tell them they have a douchey name.

Guys don't like it when you tell them they shouldn't be wearing a V neck.

Guys don't like it when you tell them their cell phone carrier doesn't exist.

Guys don't like it when you tell them their law school doesn't exist. (But seriously, quick show of hands. Who's heard of UC Hastings?).

Guys don't like it when you respond to all their questions with flustered, one word answers while staring at your drink.

Guys don't like it when you try to tell them all about Twilight and how hot you think Jacob is.

Guys don't like it when you compare them to Edward Cullen.

Guys don't like it when you tell them you're only flirting with them to get free drinks.

Guys don't like it when you talk about your ex boyfriends.

Guys don't like it when you talk about your crazy ex boyfriends.

Guys don't like it when you talk about the crazy things you've done.

Guys don't like it when you talk about colonoscopies.

Guys don't like it when you talk about prostate exams.

Guys don't like it when you talk about wanting to settle down and have kids.

Guys don't like it when you make jokes about them having to pay for the pleasure of your company.

Guys don't like it when you rip the cigarette out of their hand, break it in half, wave it in their face and say "this is REALLY bad for you!"

So, uh, anybody know what guys DO like?

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Oh hello there!

Some things:

So I guess I was right in my thinking that nobody likes reading about someone else's horoscope? Because it's boring? I was kind of hoping people might tell me how they are similar/different from what their horoscope says. But I guess for that to happen, I need to do something like ASK. Ah well. But I am interested, should you want to share.

I went to VEGAS this past weekend. For the first time. Yes, really. Well, no, not really. I used to go there as a kid with my family to visit my grandmother's family. But this was the first time I went there without various casino employees peering down at me and saying "you either need to be in the restaurant or the arcade, little girl." NOT THIS TIME. This time I got to be right smack dab in the center of all the sin. It was fabulous. And insane.

Yesterday and today I worked. Not as a nurse, unfortunately. No, this is one of my other little part time jobbies of which I have a couple. This particular one involves reading aloud for people with special accomidations in medical/science exams. And let me tell you, if there's something more horrendous than taking a standardized test, it's reading one aloud for nine hours!

Tomorrow/Thursday I must must must finish my last two papers. And then I'll really be done for the quarter. Keep your fingers crossed that I pass all my classes, pretty please? I need a little luck for this quarter. Some of my classmates, Miss Jenny Grace, and I did manage to go out last Thursday night and celebrate being done (or, in my case, almost done). It was delightful. Because karaoke is okay, but karaoke with your own little room where you can really belt it out without a care in the world? Fantastic.

I seem to remember us looking a lot more magical and amazing than this photo (yanked from Miss Grace's flickr stream) seems to indicate. Huh.

So that's where I've been, hither and thither. You?

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Hear me ROAR

Okay, I know astrological signs are only really interesting if you're talking about YOUR OWN. But bear with me? I never really believed in all of this stuff because when I start reading and it's like "Leo! You're the life of the party! You're a social butterfly! You loves to be out on the town and in the center of the action!" then I'm like Okay then why would I rather stay home and read about my horoscope online than go out tonight? Riddle me that.

Yesterday I had a conversation with a classmate who told me...... well, I can't remember exactly what she tried to explain. But it was something about how Saturn does these circles (or something) and when it gets to specific points then, depending on your astrological sign, that's when you go through hard times and/or big changes. And I said "Oh! So that explains all the SHIAT that's been going down in my life." And then she shook her head and said, "I think it's probably just beginning for you." Oh. Balls.

But so anyhow. Today I decided to look up and really read about my sign. And, uh. Wow.

Your element: Fire
Your ruling planets: The Sun [The f*cking SUN! YES. Yes, sun, fire, anything to do with HEAT. Yes.]
Symbol: The Lion [Rawr]
Your stone: Peridot
Life Pursuit: To lead the way

Vibration: Radiant Energy

Leo's Secret Desire: To be a star [how did you know!?]

Love triumphs over all for this sign, which is ruled by the heart and operates from this dimension too [Uh. Yeah. You could say that.]. Leo's are born fortunate [sweet!]. Charismatic and positive-thinking they attract not only an abundance of friends and opportunities, but manage to survive life's stormy times with style and good humour.

Once a Lion is committed to a relationship, they are totally devoted and faithful [YES]. Should their heart or trust be broken they never forgive or forget [Beware]. When a relationship breaks down (even a long standing one) they can disappear into the sunset without a backward look. Leos can cut ties, and leave others heartbroken, but usually there is a good reason why they have broken a tryst. For a Leo, when a relationship is over, really over, it is over for good.

There are three levels of soul-evolution of the Leos. The highest is represented by the Sphinx; wise beyond their years and great teachers to others [Hm. Maybe I'll get there eventually]. The second is the Lion, King of the Jungle, ruled by ego but always protective and sustaining of those they love [I think this is how I'm trying to be now]. The last is the Lion Cub, immature and undeveloped, frightened by anything new. These Leos cling to others (in the mode of the child not wanting to leave its mother's side).) They can't bear to be alone [Yep. Been there. Sigh.].

No matter what level they have attained, all Leos are trendsetters, leaders and adventurers. Their weakness is their pride. This is one sign where the saying "flattery will get you everything" applies [true that], but be warned criticism will slam the relationship door right in your face.

Huh. Well that sounds, um, EXACTLY RIGHT, except maybe the part about being a trendsetter. I won't bore you with a second description like I was going to, but lets just say it talks about how Leos have 'larger than life emotions.' I read that and then I said "WE DO NOT!" stomped away, and pouted in the corner for thirty five minutes.


Wednesday, December 9, 2009


Winter has apparently arrived in the City by the Bay. For me, this means permanently switching my radio station to 96.5 so I can listen to Christmas music all the time. Yes, allthetime. It also means that it's cold. I know it's probably not cold to some of you snowfolk, but cold to my California wussyness. And I'm extra wussy, or so I've been told. So the other day I turned on my heater and I realized something: the heater likes the blinds shut.

See I was leaving the blinds on my window open for several reasons-- natural light, making my wee apartment feel less claustrophobic, people watching during allocated study time, etc etc. But also because I figured that the COLD from the windows would make the heater stay on longer. Because if the apartment feels colder to the heater, it will work harder... you follow my logic?

But then the other day I left the blinds shut because I wasn't ready to deal with the day and the heater stayed on much much longer. And then I tested it, opening the blinds to see when it would shut off. To my surprise, it turned off much SOONER. It's as if my heater needs an ego boosting sense of accomplishment. When the blinds are shut, the heater chugs along, warming up the house degree by degree, feeling proud of itself. When the blinds are open, the heater starts up and then quits, throwing its arms into the air and pouting well why do I even bother!?

So this means I have to make a choice when I'm in my apartment: I can either have natural light and a pretty view of the outside world, or I can be warm. But I can't have both. (Balls!)

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

I swear we didn't plan it.

But look how adorable and coordinated Miss Grace and I were at the Blogher Christmas Party! (Yes, the very same party where I learned about the unfortunate blog name confusion).

Our shoes were cute, too. You'll just have to take my word on this.

Monday, December 7, 2009


Last week I went to the grocery store and it seemed like every aisle I went down was capped off by these 5 pound boxes of mini oranges. There I was, minding my own business but at every corner I turned, there they were again. "Mini oranges! Five lbs for only $6!" The store even went so far as to list it as a "gift box" which, really? I know there are allowances to be made around the holidays because every retailer is stretching to include their product as a great! gift! idea! but I think it's a pretty big leap to start calling bulk food items "gift boxes." Anybody want an economy size gift package of toilet paper for Christmas? No? A 20 pound gift bag of dog food?

Anyhow. So I ended up getting suckered into buying one of the boxes, worn down by their sheer overabundant presence in the store.

And that was nice, I do like oranges. But then the very next evening I returned home from school and found my box of farm fresh fruits and veggies had been delivered. I had completely forgotten about it.
Here's what I found in the box, after removing several heads of lettuce and what I think must be kale.

Why yes! Those ARE mini oranges. And then it became a race against a clock.

And here we are. After almost a week of eating several mini oranges a day and handing off three or four or seven to whoever crosses my path, I've made quite a dent.

What's that you say? You're not impressed? Why, no, neither am I. Because that is essentially NO DENT AT ALL. Those mothereffers are cloning themselves in that bowl, I swear it.

Sunday, December 6, 2009


This is Miss Grace testing Julia's comment formatting. Ignore me.


This is a test. I have a brandspankingnew commenting format thanks to the lovely Miss Grace. This is only a test.

But I'll also take this opportunity to tell you about some early Christmas presents I bought, erm, myself. In a supreme act of optimism I got some new suitcases. Because maybe I'll go on some fabulous vacations soon? I think I know of a very important conference happening in New York this summer and I think that if I went, I would NEED cute suitcases. Yes. And, also, my old suitcase was of the no-rolly-no-standy variety. By that I mean it used to be a rolly suitcase. And then one of the wheels got jammed and I didn't realize it until it was too late so I kept pulling it along and it's been rubbed down to a nub. So now the suitcase neither rolls nor stands. But it does hold clothes, which is why I put off buying a new one for, oh, five or six years.

But I found these at Ross:
 I know what you're thinking. They don't match. But that's okay. I'm not planning to use them at the same time. I doubt I'll be going on a vacation requiring THAT much luggage for many moons. Plus, take a look at how purty they are individually and you'll see why I couldn't resist either:

See? Surprise pretty blue on the inside! Preeeetty. I saw that and I knew I had to get that one. And then I took a look at the green one.

And it was just so pocketful that I couldn't resist. This one was a tad pricey (around $80 marked down from $180) but I got SUCH a screaming deal on the other one ($36 marked down from $400) that I was able to justify it. Plus: pockets! Including this extra bonus laptop bag found inside one of the outer pockets:

And now I'm planning to get rid of the old suitcase. But of course someone has recently realized that he LOVES the old suitcase and it's the only place he ever wants to be and please please don't take it away from me.


Friday, December 4, 2009


[Update: This post was written in December 2009, when my blog was called Royal Jewels and the web site was]

So. Last night was rather enlightening. I went to the Blogher Christmas party in San Francisco. I always start off holiday parties feeling somewhat anxious. Will I have enough interesting things to talk about? Will I ask intelligent questions? Will I be standing in the corner trying not to look too awkward as I stare at people with my mouth open?

But Jenny was there and she introduced me to nice people and we talked about phones and business cards and carpal tunnel wrist braces as bloghers are wont to do. We drank margaritas and ate yummy free food and I was just starting to think to myself, Hm. Maybe I do belong here after all.

And then we were saying goodbye to Vanessa, and she asked what my blog was called. I said, "It's Royal Jewels. Like, you know, the things on a crown." I put an imaginary crown on my head as I said this.
Next to Vanessa, Jenny started laughing and said, "Not like BALLS?"
I stared at her a moment. "No." I said, offended. "NOT like balls. What the hell are you talking about?"
"Isn't it? That's just always what *I* think of when I hear the term Royal Jewels...." She shrugged.
I was horrified, "What? What? THAT'S what you think of when you hear my name?!"
"You know, like" here she paused, mimed fondling a nutsack, "Royal Jewels."
"No! No! Oh my god." I put my head in my hands. "Oh my god. Ohmygod Ohmygod Ohmygod. That's not what it's supposed to be at all!"
Jenny scrunched up her eyebrows, confused, "Seriously?"

Yes. Seriously.

Yes. I am the 27-year-old who did not know that Royal Jewels is apparently a common euphemism for balls.


When I first started this here blog, I called it "Superjules" but then "superjules dot blogspot dot com" was taken so, after A LOT of brain-wracking, I picked "theroyalpain dot blogspot dot com" instead. And for awhile that was fine. But then I kept thinking about how my blog name and url didn't really match. Was there a way to put the two together? Could I come up with a name that combined the concepts I wanted to get across? Something that alluded to the idea being royalty (which I liked) with the name Jules (me). And then it hit me: Royal Jewels. Because it's ME- Jewels. And it's ROYAL. And, AND it refers to the gemstones worn by kings and queens. YES!

And for over a year I have been writing as Royal Jewels.


Jenny was shocked at my reaction. "I thought it was a joke. I mean, I thought it was kind of a weird joke, but I assumed you knew."
I was still in disbelief, "But it's not... It doesn't mean THAT. You're thinking of Family Jewels." Family Jewels was what I thought she meant because, you know, balls are where spermies come from and those make babies which make families. Family Jewels.
"No," said Jenny, "They mean the same thing."


I almost didn't want to write about this. Because how many people knew this while I sat here like a goddamn moron in the dark? And now I'm coming out and saying No no, internet world, I'm not quirky and confident with an odd sense of humor like you might have thought, but instead I am profoundly naive. Because the possibility that Royal Jewels meant anything at all other than the 'precious stones one might find on a crown' was something that never crossed my mind. Not once. There I was, the oblivious little old lady showing off a new bracelet while the rest of the family whispers grandma's wearing anal beads on her arm to one another.


My blog name. Means. Balls. Excuse me while I go curl up under a rock and die.


Thursday, December 3, 2009

My Bedroom Sanctuary

According to my organization book, I had one month to try and turn my bedroom into a lovely space wherein I could feel comfortable and content. A sanctuary, if you will. I was also supposed to organize my closet but I decided to give myself extra time for that because of other priorities and also because my closet is not technically located inside my bedroom (so ha!). Even without including the closet I didn't get to do everything I would have liked but for now I am satisfied with the organization progress and plan to move on to the next book chapter/area in my house.

Here we go. Remember how my bedroom looked before? I'll include the before pics so we can have a really good comparison:

Before, the weird, too-short-built-in unusable desk/inconvenient shelf area:

After, the still weird, too-short-built-in unusable desk/inconvenient shelf area, now with fewer boxes and more usable shelves:

I haven't had a chance to have shelves installed like I want, but I think I the pre-assembled Ikea bookcase fits in nicely atop the faux desk area.

Before, a closer look at the desk clutter area:

After, the desk de-cluttered:

It still feels a little strange not to have to clear things out of the way when I want to get my pajamas out or to have to wrestle that broken drawer back into the mini dresser.

Before, my bedside table:

After, my bedside table:

I'm learning to appreciate and keep open space empty instead of wanting to put stuff in it "to display" or use it as a place to throw things "temporarily."

Before, my bed:

After, my bed:

Not much different there except now it has flannel sheets because SF has apparently realized that December has arrived. Ahhhh, cozy.

You like?

Monday, November 30, 2009


A few words and phrases that irritate me, for your reading pleasure.

"Conversate" - Because it's not a word.

"Irregardless" - Also not a word.

"Orientate"- Apparently used widely in the UK, but I'm holding fast to my original belief that it is not a word.

"Myself"- When people use it incorrectly, such as "If anyone has a question, talk to Jon or myself." Jon or me, people, Jon or ME!

"That's a made up holiday." Yeah, well. They all were at some point.

"I'm a really good drunk driver."- No. YOU'RE NOT.

"Sherpa"- when used in reference to boots or other products with sheepskin in them. Because I'm sorry, but unless you've skinned a Himalayan mountain guide, your jacket IS NOT LINED WITH SHERPA.

Sunday, November 29, 2009


I saw New Moon on Thanksgiving day. It was fun, entertaining, ridiculous, tweeny, whatever. But I want to talk about the most disturbing part about it. And no, I don't mean how it glorifies suicide and reckless behavior or how Bella is a total bitch for stringing along nice, hawt Jacob the entire time while pining for sallow, emo Edward.

No, I want to talk about Bella's moonstone ring. Did you notice it? How could you not? She wore it throughout the whole movie. Every time you saw her hands it was like Look! Ring! Apparently this was something she had in the books. I didn't remember it but according to Wiki answers it's true.


What could possibly be disturbing about this, you ask? Well only the fact that I have been wearing a moonstone ring on my right index finger for the past SIX years.

Here I am the day before Thanksgiving:


And on Halloween:


Probably two and a half years ago:


Threeish years ago:

Ring. (Plus shorter hair and absent tattoo).


Seriously. I HAD IT FIRST. I am so not looking forward to this becoming a "thing" and people asking me if I wear it because of the books/movies. Because no. NONONONONONONONONO.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

And then he had the munchies.

My nieces and nephews got Bowie a Christmas present. He found it and opened it just a tad early.

Look closely, he also gnawed his way through the plastic on that stocking. And then he spent the rest of the evening totally H-I-G-H off catnip... running up and down the hall, staring at things really closely, scooching along the ground on his back, getting startled whenever someone came near him. Now I remember why I don't usually keep catnip in my house.

Friday, November 27, 2009

You'd think I would have whiter teeth.

So I was halfway home before I realized I had left my entire bag of toiletries at my parents' house. I am most irritated about the fact that I left my new makeup. I had been doing essentially the same makeup routine for, oh, four or five years. But then a couple weeks ago I finally quit making excuses, went into Sephora and had the nice man there tell me what eye makeup to buy and how to put it on. It does look splendid, if I do say so. But then I left it at my parents' house. It's really no big deal but I DID want to wear makeup, say, tomorrow.

Fortunately, I do have spare deodorant, hairbrush, hair goo, etc. And toothpaste. Do I have toothpaste! Apparently dental care supplies are something I'm frequently worried (paranoid?) that I will run out of. So I buy them when I see them. Which means that when I opened my bathroom drawer to look for a new toothbrush and tube of toothpaste I found this:

Yeah. I think I'm all set.

Thursday, November 26, 2009


I am absolutely brimming with gratitude this Thanksgiving. It may have something to do with the champagne.

Today I am especially thankful for...

... my family. For them sticking by me, no questions asked. For them loving me, wholly, fiercely. For the deafening chaos that reigns in the house during the holiday season. For the beautiful, amazing children who scramble about underfoot and drive us all up the wall.

... my friends. They who caught me when I fell, hard. Who believed that I was strong even when I didn't believe it myself. Everyone who listened listened listened when I needed to talk. The friends who gave advice and tangible solutions. The old friends, the new friends, and the friends I've never even met in "real life" who offered to help me in any way they could. The school friends who told me they wouldn't let me screw up, that they'd help me get through this quarter. Everyone who encouraged and cheered me on. Everyone who offered me a place to crash, a shoulder to cry on, a hug, or a snarky comment. Everyone who has been my drinking buddy.

... myself. I have a new found energy. I am lucky and happy and healthy and have a life full of love and possibilities.

For all this, and so much more, I am thankful.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Music to my Ears

Some people have those fancy newfangled programs on their iphones or ipods or whatevers where you hold up your device to a radio speaker and it will *ding!* magically tell you whatever is playing. Well I don't have that yet. When I hear a song that I like, I scramble for a scrap of paper and a writing impliment and I start scribbling down the lyrics as fast as I can. Then I google the lyrics and voila! I've found the song I want to download!

A few weeks ago I was wandering around Nordstrom and I came to a dead stop underneath one of their speakers because, wow, there was a good song playing. I whipped out my phone and franticallly texted myself the lyrics to this FANTASTIC song. I went home, googled it, downladed it off itunes, put it on a mix cd and have since been perpetually playing it in my car.

I am shamefully ready to announce the name of that song: Keep it Real. By the Jonas Brothers.

You may commence with the mocking.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Fluff Ball

I gave Bowie a bath the other day. He spent the rest of the day alternating between glaring at me and curling up by the heater.

I didn't rip your face off becuz you feeds me.

Monday, November 23, 2009

advice from my mama

We don't call boys.

Bubble baths are amazing.

Don't be such a smart alec.

Learn how to cook one thing really well so you can always bring it to parties.

When the person on the phone asks for you, you say "This is she."

If you find a pair of jeans you like, buy them.

Try new things.

Talk to your teachers.

If a relationship doesn't seem like it's going anywhere, get out.

People would rather hear wrong information than none at all.

You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.

Go to college. Major in something academic.

Someday you'll be happy you had braces as a kid.

Celebrate holidays whenever the family can be together, God will understand.

Reward yourself.

Always bring a bathing suit.

Try to do something you love, but you're going to need money too.

Every woman alive loves Chanel No. 5.

(inspired by Miss Grace & Mighty Girl)

Sunday, November 22, 2009


The following is a conversation I had with my smarty pants little niece:

Are you ever going to have babies?

Well, yes, I want to have babies. But first I have to wait till I have one of these (indicating my empty ring finger) like your mommy has.

You DO have a ring right there on your other finger.

That's right, I do. But it's not quite the same thing. First I want to get married and then I'll have babies. I'll give you lots of little cousins, okay? Does that sound good?


Why not?

You don't even have a boyfriend!

Saturday, November 21, 2009

That time again

I need a haircut. Breaking news, right? Somebody call the president! Whatever. I do.

I like my hair's length and I like that I've finally given up on the idea that blond highlights look good on me (they don't). Last time I went in, the stylist decided that violet panels were the way to go. I'm very happy with how they turned out, how they faded into a color I didn't hate, and how they blend with the rest of my hair. She also gave me bangs. I am much less happy about those. I tend to wear my hear like this, to avoid having to deal with them at all:

I am not flipping you off, I assure you.

I think maybe part of the problem is that I asked for "sweep acrossy bangs" and so she cut them in such a way that they require a lot of styling but really my MAIN desire for hair maintenance is Low Effort. Maybe I didn't make that clear enough.

So. What do you think, shall I try for bangs again? And, if so, what specifically do I say?

Friday, November 20, 2009

Things I would have never done in LA

Since I lived in LA for eight years, I tend to say that I'm "from" there (despite the fact that I lived in the city where I grew up for eighteen years). I loved living in LA and I was sad to leave. But it turns out that I like San Francisco, too. I tell people this: "I thought I would just tolerate living here for 3 years, but I actually really like it!" and then they look at me funny because all they asked was "how's it goin?"

Here's a short list of things that I do now that I probably would not have done in LA:

- take public trans instead of drive
- walk instead of take public trans
- have separate garbage receptacles for trash, recycle, AND compost
- experience a reverse commute
- use the term "reverse commute"
- get farm fresh fruits and veggies delivered to my door
- eat farm fresh fruits and veggies
- drink water from a Klean Kanteen
- drink water
- wear layers
- use glass tupperware
- bring my own silverware to school
- use cloth napkins
- search high and low for organic milk in glass bottles

Look at me, I'm turning into a Bay Area hippie!

Thursday, November 19, 2009


So the storage space in my bedroom has always kind of bothered me. Rather, the lack of usable and organizable storage space in my bedroom has bothered me. Let me show you what I mean:

The desk is too low and too in a corner for me to ever have the desire to sit at it. So I crammed some drawers under it and made it into a makeshift dresser area. But then I started piling stuff on top of it and that got out of hand. So now that area is a storage/mess region. And the shelves. THE SHELVES.

Notice anything missing?

Seriously. Want a hint?

See? MISSING SHELVES. So my question is this: why would they add built-in shelf space without including the shelves? What is the purpose of these large box-areas? Am I supposed to be displaying art or hunting trophies there? I know I know, the shelving would be be easy to add. I've already set this in motion by whining to most of the boys I know so hopefully it will happen soon. But still. Why aren't the shelves already there?

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Congrats Ms. Pants!

I had to pick a winner for my giveaway, and random number generators are just not that fun, so I made a sticky note for everyone who entered:

Then I crumpled 'em up:

And shut my eyes, mixed them around, and plucked one out:

And the winner is Molly Pants! Congrats, my dear! Email me, willya?

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Jules what now?

I was at Ikea today during my break, wandering the maze and spacing out. Then I hit up the "As Is" section, which I think is by far and away the best part of Ikea-- furniture that is cheaper BECAUSE you already assembled it for me? Yes, please. I ended up buying a little bookshelf thingy that will help me turn that weird desk/irritating cabinet area into something more useful and thus work toward the zenning of my bedroom.

I also found these:


Monday, November 16, 2009


I bought milk in glass bottles. I had been looking for them for a couple of weeks-- first at Safeway, then at Trader Joe's and then back at Safeway again because I wished so hard they carried it. What I REALLY want is an actual dairy service like they had in the days of yore (not you're or your). You know, where the delivery man would bring bottles to your doorstep and then father your illegitimate children? But for that to happen I guess you first need a dairy nearby. And a delivery man. And, well, a doorstep. So I'm settling for buying milk in glass bottles. I switched to organic milk a few weeks ago and YOWZA is there a difference. Num. That's all I need to say. And then it started bugging me that I was drinking organic milk from plastic bottles because that just seems wrong. So now, thanks to Whole Foods, I'll be buying glass bottled milk.

And, yes, my glass bottle milk buying is ALL I would like to talk about for today. I'm certainly not getting into this.

P.S. There is still time to enter my giveaway (that Tuesday Nov 17 deadline is pretty meh)! I'm throwing in a Flip & Tumble bag, for the winner, too!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Classy N Stuff

(Written by Miss Grace)

This weekend, we:
  • Drank vodka out of a water bottle in a CVS parking lot.
  • Found myself on the wrong side of watching the sun rise.
  • NARROWLY avoided an Everclear concert. At Club Disney (henceforth whenever you find yourself in a less than ideal situation, remind yourself, "Self," you'll say, "At least you aren't at an Everclear concert. In Anaheim."
  • While ragging on said concert, said that I (Jenny) couldn't think of a single band I would rather see LESS. Ten minutes later, we've sort of moved on to a new subject, Turducken says, "What about Nickelback?" Touché.
  • Watched this fight. it? I (Jenny) don't like boxing. At all.
  • Drove. A LOT.
  • Changed in the street. As in, the kind of changing where you get naked. As in, the middle of the street.
  • Some other stuff, but it's not seeming very clear just now.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

A moment from our drive (redacted)

We spent a lot of time in the car. Having many conversations like this one:

[Redacted cuz it had a little too much work info in there]

Did you know that Jessica Rabbit wears a red dress? Jenny thought it was purple...

Friday, November 13, 2009

I wanna text you up

I recently had to change my phone number. Since then, every once in awhile I'll get a text message from a number I don't know saying something like this:

So I got c b a a b b d a d c c d c a d b d a b Tell me what u got.


I think num 17 is a not c right?

Today I wrote back: Wrong number... Maybe you should try studying instead.

Maybe they will?

Thursday, November 12, 2009


Guess what? It's National Nurse Practitioner Week!

As someone who is currently in NP school, I've noticed that many people seem to be unclear as to the actual ROLE of a nurse practitioner. How is it different from a regular nurse? they ask. Why would you go through all this extra training and not just go to med school instead? Oh, you'll be able to write prescriptions... will you write me one for Vicodin?

Even though I answer people's questions and I feel like I explain the role of an NP pretty well, it's hard to know how to say it in a succinct, easy-to-understand way.

Until today, when I saw this:


So, in honor of National Nurse Practitioner Week I'm having a giveaway!

Remember this book? And how it helped me transform my kitchen? And soon, my bedroom? And then, MY LIFE?

Want one for yourself? With an AWESOME NP Week bookmark to go with it? Well here's whatcha do:

- Leave me a comment by TUESDAY NOVEMBER 17, telling me about the area of your house that could use the most help from this book-- I'm thinking "cluttered" or "disorganized" as opposed to "dirty" or "in need of redecorating" but whatever, really. I'll pick a winner in one of those fair, randomish ways people do and mail you the book + bookmark. And then you'll be happy because you won a contest and got a little something in the mail and you never win contests or get fun mail (or is that just me?).

For bonus entries:
  • Take a pic of that area of your house and email it to me royaljewels dot feelings at gmail dot com. I'll post it here and use it for NaBloPoMo because I'm running out of ideas.
  • Go out and hug your favorite nurse practitioner and/or nurse practitioner student. Leave me a comment and let me know you did. Honor system, I'll believe you!
Sound good? Happy NP Week!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Life's a Piknik

There was so much awesomeness from this weekend, even more than what the pictures show. But here are a few of my faves.

I really wish there was photographic evidence of the following: An unbelievably awkward cab ride to the Castro wherein Aman horribly offended the driver by asking, "so how's business?" Swimming + bloody marys + Cody wearing my short shorts. Eating at that restaurant on Saturday morn and realizing that NO ONE was seated around us because we were being so charismatic* and boisterous.** Jenny instructing the boys on the CORRECT way to pull a girl's hair.


Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Grammar Lesson

Your vs. You're

Your= The possessive form of you.
As in: Your bad attitude. Your insane beliefs. Your inappropriate and disrespectful behavior.

You're= You are.
As in: You're spiteful. You're fired. You're not allowed to contact me anymore.

An example of both in the same sentence: You're trying to manipulate me and I will not play your games.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Bedroom: Before

The second section of my book on organization talks about making your bedroom into a sanctuary-- a "sexy, comforting, nurturing, inspiring, cozy, elegant, sophisticated, homey, fun, joyful" sanctuary. Apparently I'm supposed to do this in February. But then I was supposed to do the kitchen in January, so here we are. I'm going to move forward in the order of the book chapters, rather than the corresponding months.

Anyhow, my bedroom. I believe I may have mentioned that my apartment is rather strangely laid out-- it has a kitchen/hallway instead of a separate kitchen so that there could actually be separate bedroom nook in my 300 square feet of space. So my bedroom is tiny. You would think there wouldn't be much room for it to be messy or cluttered. You would be wrong.

The book invites you to consider your bedroom as it is now-- What do you like about it? What do you not like? Any quick, easy fixes you could do to improve it? Do you feel like the space truly reflects you? Is it full of things from your past that don't have as much meaning now? Are there old habits or tastes you still incorporate?

Picture your bedroom sanctuary in your mind, the book says. What does it look like?

I can tell you what my imaginary bedroom sanctuary does NOT look like. This:

The weird, too-short-built-in unusable desk/inconvenient shelf area:

A closer look at the desk and the drawers I have crammed underneath it. Also, my purse crate:

Those are all the boxes of childhood and random things that I brought from the storage room at my parents' house. I was planning to unpack and organize them. Yeah.

My bedside table:
Do you spy the book?

I do like that this table doesn't have drawers, because I think I would just cram stuff into them and pretend it isn't there. Also, I LOVE that lamp. It was in my bedroom at my grandmother's house when I was a little girl, then it was in the garage and didn't have a shade for a long time so nobody used it. Then, I, the genius, figured out that you could go out and buy a new shade.

My bed:

I LOVE my bed. I bought that fluffy blankie at Target at the beginning of the school year because I am ALWAYS cold, especially at night, especially in winter. And then I bought those jersey knit pillowcases. My bed is lovely and cloud-like and I love it.

I have a month to create a bedroom sanctuary. I'm thinking I might give myself a little extra time, due to extenuating circumstances. And that's okay because some of the book sections involve things like "Get your kids on board!" which I don't have or "Organize that cluttered garage!" which would involve me going down the my assigned parking space and giving it a thumbs up. But I'm excited. I had fun zenning my kitchen and it really seems like it worked. So maybe, hopefully in a month and change I will have a fabulous zen bedroom to show you.