Wednesday, May 15, 2013


You know what I don't understand? Those newfangled car key doodles that are not actual keys but instead electronic fancy car remote thingies. What... why? I have a whole list of reasons I don't like or understand them: They're expensive. You can get a key made for a couple bucks, but those stupid electronic NON KEYS cost a couple hundred. Oh, and water ruins them. And what if you forget them somewhere, which is much easier to do since you don't actually have to get them out of your pocket to unlock the car, start it, or exit it. What if you're locked out? Exactly whom does AAA send for you, because I feel like it wouldn't be a locksmith.


The last guy I dated told me that one of the reasons he didn't want to date me anymore was that he wanted to be the funny one in the relationship. I had decided to end things, but that was his parting sentiment to me. Great.


Today I learned and performed the Dix-Hallpike test and Epley maneuver on a patient with vertigo. It's a way to diagnose vertigo and then to treat it. It's super weird because maneuvering the person around with their head and body in certain positions ACTUALLY does help vertigo. I know that it's supposedly science or physics or whatever, but it really seems like the maneuvers are sorcery. Which, given the names, I'm semi convinced they are.


This past weekend I spent a lot of time with my sister. Communicating with my sister is like... Well. It's like communicating with my sister. If you ask her a direct question she might answer, or she might answer a totally unrelated question (Me: "Hey when are you buying your ticket for the 4th?" Sis: "I don't have diabetes!"), or she might just NOT ANSWER AT ALL. And you know she heard you. And it's not out of malice, it's just... how she is.

She will often tell you only part of the story and assume that you already knew the rest. I am constantly getting texts from her that read like we were in the middle of a conversation.
Sis: IV fluids.
Me: What? Who is getting IV fluids? What's going on?

This weekend she tried to tell me a story, but I got all hung up on what she apparently thought was a minor detail.
Sis: So I was walking home and I caught a snake right over there. And it was so weird it-
Me: Wait, what? You caught a snake?  How?
Sis: I was just walking and I saw a snake on the sidewalk, so I grabbed it. Anyhow, it-
Me: Why did you catch a snake?
Sis: To show it to the kids.
Me: Wait. You saw a snake and so you GRABBED IT?
Sis: Yes. Anyhow, it was so weird when we let it go in the yard it slithered all the way from the rocks to the bushes.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

In case of emergency

So. It has been awhile. I have a no sleeping and horrible nightmares saga to tell you about but that can wait.
Okay, I just wrote a whole long-winded paragraph here about how PRECISELY I came up with the idea, but let me just streamline that into: My sister mentioned that she wanted a Swiss Army knife to keep in her car. So, for Christmas, instead of just giving her the knife, I put together an Emergency Car Kit for her. It was really fun to make and she loved it, so it was a very satisfying present.
Since then I have made emergency car kits for a few other people. It makes a really awesome gift, if you're someone who tends to go a bit overboard for gift giving.

Let's go through the process. First, you get a bin. You'll want to get it at Target because you'll also be needing other things at Target. Then, you put things in the bin. And then you give that bin to somebody, or you keep it for yourself and put it in your car.

Here is an example of an emergency car kit. It just happens to be MY emergency car kit.

Photo 1: Jeans, black lounge pants, a long sleevie shirt, an undertank, a short sleevie shirt, flippity flops, socks, undies, dress, hoodie. All artfully flang over my chair.

Photo 2: Fingerless gloves, fingerfull gloves, work gloves (I didn't realize I had put so many pairs of gloves in there until I was taking the pic), poncho, umbrella, sunscreen, tissues, flashlight, lint roller, rope.

Photo 3: Gross yellow Gatorade (selected to make sure that I will only drink if it is an actual thirst emergency), various undesirable snackies, vodka, 5 hour energy drink, baby wipes, extra glasses, sunglasses, miscellaneous case containing phone charger, earbuds, lighter, one birthday candle. Just in case.

Photo 4: Here we have some items that go into two cosmetic pouches. In the Chanel pouch (purchased from a thrift store)- hairbursh, earplugs, razor, toothpaste, toothbrush, tampons, cotton balls, Q tips, conditioner, floss, chapstick, condoms (hey, we don't know what sort of emergency might come up). In the little black pouch- bobby pins (or, as I like to call them, Robert pins), sparkles, hair goo, lotion, eyeshadow, nail clippers, hairbands, mascara, eyeliner, perfume.

Photo 5: Packing it all up.... At the last minute I also threw in a notepad and a tarp. Because, well, I had a notepad and a tarp.

Photo 6: Now, this is the mini/satellite emergency car kit that lives in the FRONT of my car. This one contains some tinier things and also essential items that I might need to use more often than what is in the main car kit.

Photo 7: The items in the mini front seat emergency car kit. Flip & Tumble bag, wee notebook, matches, gum, sunscreen, handsatizer (that's what my nephew calls it) spray, alcohol swabs, chapstick, lens cloth, little pouch containing tampons and Robert pins, lotion, tissues, pill box with various meds, salt, pens, and a Sharpie. Not pictured and I'm not sure why- whistle.

Photo 8: And here we have everything neatly packaged into these two bins. Oh, I also added a sweatshirt to the big bin, which is what you see on top. I had room and I tend to get cold.

I feel like I should also mention that as a nurse I have a separate box in my car that contains things like bandaids, scissors, antiseptic, tape, and gauze. Oh, and a face mask for giving CPR. I'm not going back down to my car to get and photograph those things, you'll just have to use your imagination.
I also keep bandaids in my wallet (just like my dad), snacks in my purse, chapstick in just about every bag I own, and pepper spray and a window breaker/seatbelt cutter attached to my keychain.
Things I want to add to my emergency car kit: flares, emergency blanket, book, snake bite kit, hat, safety pins. Man, I could just keep going.
What might go into your emergency car kit?