Girl Talk: Beautification

I'm counting this as a Girl Talk Thursday post even though it is [gulp] SATURDAY. No one will notice if I backdate it, right?

So. My beauty secrets.

I don't wash my hair every day. I do bathe every day, but my hair only gets washed every 2-3 days. I find it looks prettiest the day after the day after I wash it. That sounds weird, but it means that if I'm going to a wedding or something on Saturday, I'll wash my hair on Thursday night to maximize teh purty.

Sunscreen! I wear sunscreen every day. And now I've totally become my mother in that when I go basking, I don't actually lay out in the sun but instead tend to sit under an umbrella with a floppy hat on my head, tsking at the sunbathers.

I only wear clothes that fit well and that satisfy my insane as-yet-undocumented clothing rules that I will lay out in another post. The point here is that I feel pretty if my clothes look nice AND feel nice.

Violet highlights. I've stopped the insanity of getting blonde highlights in my dark brown hair. I now get these violet panels that start, uh, in the underneath part of my hair. So my hair's growth isn't as striking as blonde highlights and DARK ROOTS. Also, the violet fades over time, but it fades in such a way the color just gets lighter and continues to look, well, violet. This means the upkeep can be as minimal or maximal as I my current attention level/financial situation.

Accessories. Nothing says IGNORE MY CHIN CLEFT like an interesting necklace.

Eye makeup. A few months ago I, newly single and ready to mingle, stumbled into Sephora and threw myself at the mercy of the nice ambiguously gay gentleman who worked there. He taught me the following: put on eyeliner. Then take your finger and apply cream eyeshadow to your lids, smudging the eyeliner as you go. Start at the outside of your eye and move inward toward your nose. Insta-smoky eyes! Now add some mascara and blow yourself a kiss in the mirror, you sexy thang, you.

Glitter.

About Me

I have slender, bony fingers and tiny wrists.

I have lived in California my whole life. I am open to the idea of living somewhere else, but I don't know how likely that is. I love it here.

I don't have cable.

I am a nurse.

I shop at thrift stores.

I have no patience for the family of video games in which you pretend to play instruments. Also, I suck at them.

But I can hula hoop like a badass.

There are things I probably shouldn't have done or said, but right now I have no regrets. Everything that has happened has gotten me to where I am now.

I am never bored.

I like old people.

I am a great gift giver.

I am learning to cook, sorta.

My parents have been happily married for over 40 years.

I have an overactive imagination.

I am working on a zen organizing project.

I am a tremendously bad liar. I just CAN'T.

I have 8 nieces and nephews.

I always spell nieces wrong the first time. Same goes for received.

But I never mix up your and you're.

I love to laugh.

But I also cry. A lot.

I have been to Fiji.

Chips and salsa is possibly my favorite snack food.

I fall asleep on my tummy.

I count on my fingers.

I am always cold.

I have been sailing. I thought it was too windy.

I have been harassed, threatened, stalked, abused, insulted, lied to, cheated on, stolen from, manipulated, abandoned, and betrayed. I am stronger now than I could have ever imagined.

I don't like coffee.

I have a cat. He is 25 pounds of awesome.

I am a creature of habit, but I also love to go on new adventures.

I believe in myself.

I have a primal urge to sing Ebony and Ivory karaoke.

I am terrified of people in large costumes out of context. Halloween: Okay. Grocery store: NOT OKAY.

I'm a little bit nuts.

I can bend my right thumb backwards all the way behind my index finger's knuckle.

I once tried putting cream cheese in my tea because I was out of milk.

I once worked as an intern on a documentary that won an Emmy.

Speaking of movies, my favorite ones are Labyrinth, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, Pulp Fiction, Little Miss Sunshine, Role Models, Undercover Blues, Ishtar, The Muppet Christmas Carol, Sex and the City, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Repo! The Genetic Opera, and Annie.

My favorite books are The Glass Castle, The Lovely Bones, anything by David Sedaris or Augusten Burroughs, One Hundred Years of Solitude, The Poisonwood Bible, The Other Boleyn Girl, Twelfth Night, and The Ordinary Princess.

PBR is my beer of choice.

Miss Grace and I have been friends for twenty years.

In high school, I commuted an hour each way. It was not fun.

I love to take baths.

I don't like wine. I do like champagne.

I make soap.

I can raise one eyebrow. Only the left one.

I have tattoos.

I have a lot of feelings.

This is my blog.

Wanna hear something frustrating?

Well good. Because I have something!

I just erased like SIX PARAGRAPHS of introduction that basically say this: My nursing program requires taking a Master's level Research Meth0ds class. I have already taken a Master's level Research Meth0ds class.

I found out on the first day of Research Meth0ds that I can fill out an application to be exempt from Research Methods. So I did. I turned it in on January 8.

On January 9, I sent my professor the following email (names have been changed ever so slightly):

Hi Dr. Teacherperson,
I submitted my request for exemption to your box yesterday. I just wanted to make sure that you received it. If you have any questions about the Research Meth0ds course I took, please let me know.
Thank you!
Julia B. Super

Later that day I received this email from the professor:

I am out of town and will be back next week.

On January 19 I sent the following email:
Hi Dr. Teacherperson, Sorry to bother you again. I was wondering if you were back in town and had a chance to take a look at my exemption request? Please let me know if there are any developments.
Thank you! :)
Julia B. Super

Annnnnnd nothing. No response.

So today I sent the exact same email again.

Wanna know what I got back?

This:

I never recieved your documents in my mailbox.

Well. Isn't that just peachy? Can I just climb up onto my proverbial soapbox and rant for a moment? Because, first of all, WHAT? You never recieved my documents? At all? Did you really check? Because I did. I'm just eversoslightly obsessive compulsive like that and I checked many times to make sure that (1) I had the correct documents and (2) that I was leaving them in the right place. So are you SURE? Because if you didn't get them, WHERE DID THEY GO?
Second, and more importantly, when exactly were you planning to tell me this? Because I understand that you were out of town and all but it's been two weeks since I turned in that paperwork and I have been OBVIOUSLY waiting for an answer so if you didn't have the paperwork it might have been a good idea to let me know sometime in the past fourteen days. Fourteen days. Two weeks. Two weeks of waiting around, wondering when I was going to hear about my exemption status. Two weeks of being enrolled in and attending and doing work for a class that I might not even have to take. And? I HAVE EMAILED YOU SEVERAL TIMES.

*gasp* *pant*

GRRRRR.

It's a good thing I'm going out, but lord have mercy on the doucheknocker who hits on me tonight.

Some photos from my weekend

My weekend involved quite a variety of activities....

First there was the Academy of Sciences with some of my favorite people.

(photo stolen from Miss Grace)

And then some gorgeous, cold hiking in Marin county. So. Many. Salamanders!

Then I went to my parents house and spent some time playing with with my niece and her new toys.

We had a pretend picnic-- she served me the plate on the right and herself the one on the left. One of these things is not like the other.

Bowie was quite relaxed (jeez, wouldja look at him? Acting as if he doesn't get ANY rest in my apartment, which I assure you, he does).

And so was I. And then my dad asked me to help him take down the Christmas tree. "Just stand there with your arms out, okay? I'm going to cut the wires and push the tree over, you catch it." And then he did. Let me tell you, a prickly, heavy, awkward TREE is one of the most difficult things I've ever had to catch.

Overall, I had a good weekend. How was yours?

HI! Or, more specifically, HIGH!

Yesterday. It started out like a normal day. I got up, did my morning routine, maybe I'll pause here and take a moment for some obsessive compulsiveness. Would you like to see how I set up my kitchen counter at night, in preparation for the morning?:

That would be my large cloth bag for snacks, small cloth bag for my breakfast, silverware, my travel tea mug (with teabag) and lid, and a plate and knife for buttering my toast and a spoon for stirring sugar into my tea-- all neatly arranged and ready to go. It takes me about thirty seconds to arrange it like this in the evenings but if I don't do that it takes me nearly twenty minutes longer to get ready in the morning. It's like some sort of time continuum malfunction.

But back to my story: So I did my morning routine, hopped on the MUNI and headed over to school. Sitting in my first class of the day, I started to eat my breakfast-- tea and toast. I soon realized that during my commute my toast had gotten rather cold and hard so I ate only a few bites, but I did drink all of my tea. I don't drink tea every day (just on days when it is necessary that I be awake in the morning) and I never drink tea without eating something along with it.

This is important because: halfway through class I realized that I was listening to the lecture, filling out the homework sheet, doing my reading for my last class of the day, and looking through all of my syllabi and entering the important dates on my calendar ALL AT THE SAME TIME. And then I was so jittery and energetic that I took the STAIRS up to the 7th floor for my second class of the day. Aha, I thought, so THIS is a caffeine high! And I kept thinking it would go away but all day long I was a little bundle of exuberance and fervor. It was kind of strange, but on the other hand kind of awesome because I had such an animated and productive day. So. Caffeine. Yes.

Scatterbrained

Today! My box of farm fresh fruits and veggies arrived at my door. It's like getting a little surprise package. And it makes my fruit bowl look so nicely full and overflowing with nature's bounty:

And I also receive some things I wouldn't normally buy, prompting me to branch out and experiment with something new. Such as this, uh leafy green whatever it is:

Seriously, what is it? And how do I cook it?

Speaking of questions-- how does one wash tights? When I thought about asking this question, I tried to think how people might respond. And then I thought of handwashing them. But just be aware that if you tell me to handwash them you are basically telling me to never wash them. Which is kind of my policy right now.

Also, I had to get some blood drawn today. When the phlebotomist went to jab me, he noticed my tattoo and said "oh, I guess you're probably okay with needles, haha!" And I wanted to say Actually no, that is a different kind of needle and I didn't exactly premedicate today but instead I just said what I usually say when I'm caught off guard: "Heh."

Whoooo

Well I've been back in school for the Winter quarter for a week now. So far it is not so bad. I'm know it will get much more difficult as my classes and clinicals progress, but I'm hoping to be able to really devote my attention to them. I'm also planning to stick with my New Years Resolutions because they will certainly improve my life. Part of my "being happy in the present" plan includes making sure I spend time with friends and go out.

I remember this being a big deal in college. "What are you going to remember in 10 years, that paper you are writing or this PARTY tonight?" my housemates would ask whoever was trying to stay in and not go to whichever frat party we had chosen for the evening. This argument won more often than not, even though the logic is somewhat backwards (cuz I mean, really, does anyone actually REMEMBER a frat party the next day? Let alone in 10 years? Isn't that kind of the point?).

Okay. Okay. I'm pretty sure that I had some sort of conclusion here: I am planning to get through this school year come hell or high water. But, as a part of my 2010 resolutions, I am also planning to take full advantage of fun opportunities. Such as: this weekend! I stayed in the Bay Area, but I did manage to go out to dinner and a play on Friday night, buy some new stuff for zenning my apartment at Target and the Salvation Army, and go to a costume party on Saturday night.

I was an Owl. Whoooo.
And here's the birthday girl and her AMAZING hair:

Judging by the fact that I don't have a lot of CLEAR memories from the party, I'm not sure I'll remember it in 10 years. But I'm certainly feeling happy in the present!

Random Vegas Thoughts

I keep meaning to tell the following favorite moment stories from Vegas. Now's a good time, right?

- Friday (AKA The Longest Day of My Life). On the plane. Jenny and I have been up since 4:01 am. We ate our snacks, we drank our drinkies. We are landing.
Jenny: Oh my god I have to pee so bad.
Julia: hmm.
[5 minutes later]
Jenny: OHMYGOD I have to pee SO BAD.
Julia: Stop talking about it!
Jenny: Why are you being so mean to me?
Julia: Oh. I have to pee too. Sorry. Did I not say that?

- In the hotel room, Sunday. Everyone else has at least semi gotten up and started to take steps toward getting ready to leave. I am still curled up in bed.
Jenny: Get up.
Julia: No.
Jenny [grabs Julia by the hand and FORCIBLY PULLS HER OUT OF BED. She picks up Julia from the bed, carries her on her hip like a child and plunks her down on the chair]: Get dressed.

- In the lobby, waiting for @sincethursaday to finish checking out.
Jenny: Do you think I could sit down on this suitcase without falling over?
Julia: I don't know....
Jenny [sits down on suitcase, suitcase topples over, Jenny goes sprawling onto the ground, lays there on the cool tile until she notices strangers beginning to stare]
Julia: I guess not.

Ways to Disappoint Your Girlfriend

Hey, guys! Are you tired of dealing with your girlfriend? Is her self esteem just a little to high? Does she seem to have just a few too many expectations of you? If you answered yes, well then look no further! Below you will find some time-saving, easy, convenient ways to disappoint your girlfriend and probably take her down a peg or two....

Don't get her a Christmas present.

Don't get her a birthday present.

Don't do anything for Valentine's Day.

Forget your anniversary.

Go to Vegas with your friends over your anniversary.

Go to Brazil with your friends over your anniversary.

Bring her back a pair of earrings from Brazil that give her horrendous ear infections.

Tell her she should work out more.

Lie to her.

Cheat on her.

Tell her she's crazy for not trusting you.

Call her on your anniversary-- to ask her to send you some cash.

Care more about clothes than she does.

Don't introduce her as your girlfriend.

Send your friend an intricately planned out and thoughtful birthday present but get her something generic or nothing at all.

Tell her you're too broke to pay for anything.

Spend all your money on alcohol.

Spend all her money on alcohol.

Don't call her.

Call her, but don't feel like talking.

Talk to her, but don't feel like listening.

Listen to her, but don't offer any empathy.

Tell her you don't like her friends and/or family.

Tell her that your friends and/or family don't like her.

Tell her she's overreacting when she catches you in your web of lies.

Refuse to discuss said web of lies.

Don't invite her to social events with you (weddings, family occasions, parties hosted by mutual friends).

Always want to go to the same greasy spoon restaurant even though it makes her feel sick.

Always split the check, even though you make a lot more money than she does.

Break up with her by deleting her as a friend on Myspace.

Break up with her on a text message.

Break up with her by not answering her phone calls.

Don't break up with her, but just say that you want to take "a break" (Since you're not technically together you can flirt/hook up with other girls. See the nice loophole?)

Wear V necks.

Steal from her.

Tell her she's not as pretty as she used to be.

Tell her she's gotten heavier.

Hang out in Hermosa Beach.



Well there you go, guys. Sounds pretty effective, right? Good luck to you. Oh, and here's a little something in honor of you showing your true colors.

Happy douching, asshats. 

Eff you, 2009.

I know it's a leeetle belated to start talking about the New Year, but bear with me okay? I'm still metaphorically unpacking here at my new site.

So. 2009. I want to kick that year down a frickin flight of stairs.

Seriously, what the hell, 2009? Why did you have to act like such a douche? Why did SO MANY people I know have to have such a crappy year? And me? Not wonderful. 2009 is definitely not going in my archives as one of the greatest. Toward the end there, the sheer volume of ridiculously awful things that happened became almost laughable. So I was CERTAINLY ready to wave (with one finger) 2009 out the door.

And here are my resoultions for 2010:
(hmm I tried to cheat a little on this and look up my 2009 resoultions and I didn't post any! Darn.)

1. I will be true to myself in relationships.
I will not allow someone else's opinions to sway my beliefs. I mean, I know that compromise is important, but not on my fundamental desires. Like, I'm not going to date some guy who doesn't want kids and think to myself "oh well I'll be able to convince him later. And maybe I'm not even sure I want kids, it's hard enough to take care of myself...." No. We disagree on my dealbreakers? You're out. And I'm also not going to stay with someone just because I've invested time and energy into the relationship already or because I feel obligated toward that person. My happiness and life goals first, this time. You heard it here.

2. I will accept that the best I can do is enough.
This past quarter I felt pretty down. I had to turn in many of my assignments late and ask for help on things I could normally do on my own. Sometimes I had to put my personal life before school and sometimes I even had to take a mental health day away from work and school and everything and just do nothing but zen my apartment all day. And when I had to turn in assignments late or ask for extensions, I would feel pretty lousy. Like, what was wrong with me? I had time to go out with friends but I couldn't turn in a damn paper on time?
But something a friend of mine said stuck with me. He was actually talking about how one of our classmates had made up some big stupid excuse for being late one day and how she should just have been straight with our preceptor and said something like "I couldn't make it in on time, I'm doing the best that I can."
That sentence struck me, because YES. I am doing the best that I can. I used to equate doing my best as BEING the best-- getting good grades, never missing class, never being late for work, not asking for help, etc. But last quarter doing MY best meant something different, and that was okay too. So I need to learn to give myself a break.

3. I will get (and stay) organized.
My organization projects have been fun and the book's method seems to really be working! I would like to have my whole apartment (and life) zenned before the end of the year. Hopefully sooner.

4. I will go on adventures.
In 2009 I didn't really go a whole lot of places except down to LA and back up here again. Well, except VEGAS. And Vegas was a blast, so that pretty much proves my point-- I want more adventures. Because while I enjoy staying home and hanging out in the City by the Bay, it is also nice to get a change of pace. I'm thinking specifically: something with snowboarding, something with camping, something with beaches, and something with blogging. I bought new suitcases, I must use them!

5. I will continue on this good-for-me-good-for-the-planet kick I'm currently on.
I think I get disproportionately happy when my box of farm fresh fruits and veggies arrives at my door, and I am LOVING the milk in glass bottles. So, thank you, Bay Area, for instigating this trend because I'm pretty jazzed to continue it.

6. I will be happy, in the present. I do consider myself a happy person and I am never bored. Even when I'm home alone, I am perfectly content to do some laundry, take a bath, and read. But when I look at 2009 I realize that I spent a lot of time focusing on the future-- my life will be great when THIS or THAT happens. No. My life is currently great. And I need to appreciate it and make my present as wonderful as my future might be. Because, well, the present is happening NOW.

Those are my resolutions. I'm going to try and remember to do a mid-year check in to see how I'm doing. But so far 2010 FTW!

Jewels vs. Nuts

A couple weeks ago I tried to go to my blog page and I got this instead:

And I was confused. Because WHERE DID MY BLOG GO? Was it hacked? Did I need to renew my use of the url? Did I need to report it to google to fix it? What the hell?

But you know what? I didn't care. Because I had kind of been looking for a reason to make a switcheroo anyhow. I had been thinking that perhaps a fresh new start for the fresh new year might involve a fresh new url and a fresh new email address. Should I say fresh new again? FRESH NEW!

Jules vs. Nuts. Why that, you ask? Well, after the confusion surrounding Royal Jewels, I had been unsure of what to call my blog. So I left it untitled. And then Jenny and I went to the Emerald Bowl on December 26th to wear ponchos, drink beer in the rain, and watch mah Trojans take on BC.
As we were walking in, Jenny turned to me and said "Ohhhh I thought it they meant jewels, not nuts." And I said "Oh HAR HAR. Thanks for bringing THAT up again." And Jenny said "No no..." and pointed to a large inflatable arch with the Emerald logo. Apparently, the Emerald Bowl was sponsored by EMERALD NUTS.
And then I said, "WHY IS THERE SO MUCH CONFUSION BETWEEN JEWELS AND NUTS IN MY LIFE?" And Jenny said "I think we just found your new blog name."

I think it is very appropriate. Because much of my life involves me, Jules, versus nuts-- the crazy people in my life, the crazy thoughts in my own head, and, occasionally, balls.

So. Welcome. I migrated all my old posts over here so you should feel right at home. Except I am a little sad because none of the comments came with them so things are looking kind of bare. If you want to go through and leave all the same comments you did again, I wouldn't be opposed. Kidding, of course. Or am I? Anyhow, I'm making a fresh new start and I'm very excited about it. Lookout, internet, Julesy's got a new soapbox!

Balls.