Friday, January 8, 2010

Eff you, 2009.

I know it's a leeetle belated to start talking about the New Year, but bear with me okay? I'm still metaphorically unpacking here at my new site.

So. 2009. I want to kick that year down a frickin flight of stairs.

Seriously, what the hell, 2009? Why did you have to act like such a douche? Why did SO MANY people I know have to have such a crappy year? And me? Not wonderful. 2009 is definitely not going in my archives as one of the greatest. Toward the end there, the sheer volume of ridiculously awful things that happened became almost laughable. So I was CERTAINLY ready to wave (with one finger) 2009 out the door.

And here are my resoultions for 2010:
(hmm I tried to cheat a little on this and look up my 2009 resoultions and I didn't post any! Darn.)

1. I will be true to myself in relationships.
I will not allow someone else's opinions to sway my beliefs. I mean, I know that compromise is important, but not on my fundamental desires. Like, I'm not going to date some guy who doesn't want kids and think to myself "oh well I'll be able to convince him later. And maybe I'm not even sure I want kids, it's hard enough to take care of myself...." No. We disagree on my dealbreakers? You're out. And I'm also not going to stay with someone just because I've invested time and energy into the relationship already or because I feel obligated toward that person. My happiness and life goals first, this time. You heard it here.

2. I will accept that the best I can do is enough.
This past quarter I felt pretty down. I had to turn in many of my assignments late and ask for help on things I could normally do on my own. Sometimes I had to put my personal life before school and sometimes I even had to take a mental health day away from work and school and everything and just do nothing but zen my apartment all day. And when I had to turn in assignments late or ask for extensions, I would feel pretty lousy. Like, what was wrong with me? I had time to go out with friends but I couldn't turn in a damn paper on time?
But something a friend of mine said stuck with me. He was actually talking about how one of our classmates had made up some big stupid excuse for being late one day and how she should just have been straight with our preceptor and said something like "I couldn't make it in on time, I'm doing the best that I can."
That sentence struck me, because YES. I am doing the best that I can. I used to equate doing my best as BEING the best-- getting good grades, never missing class, never being late for work, not asking for help, etc. But last quarter doing MY best meant something different, and that was okay too. So I need to learn to give myself a break.

3. I will get (and stay) organized.
My organization projects have been fun and the book's method seems to really be working! I would like to have my whole apartment (and life) zenned before the end of the year. Hopefully sooner.

4. I will go on adventures.
In 2009 I didn't really go a whole lot of places except down to LA and back up here again. Well, except VEGAS. And Vegas was a blast, so that pretty much proves my point-- I want more adventures. Because while I enjoy staying home and hanging out in the City by the Bay, it is also nice to get a change of pace. I'm thinking specifically: something with snowboarding, something with camping, something with beaches, and something with blogging. I bought new suitcases, I must use them!

5. I will continue on this good-for-me-good-for-the-planet kick I'm currently on.
I think I get disproportionately happy when my box of farm fresh fruits and veggies arrives at my door, and I am LOVING the milk in glass bottles. So, thank you, Bay Area, for instigating this trend because I'm pretty jazzed to continue it.

6. I will be happy, in the present. I do consider myself a happy person and I am never bored. Even when I'm home alone, I am perfectly content to do some laundry, take a bath, and read. But when I look at 2009 I realize that I spent a lot of time focusing on the future-- my life will be great when THIS or THAT happens. No. My life is currently great. And I need to appreciate it and make my present as wonderful as my future might be. Because, well, the present is happening NOW.

Those are my resolutions. I'm going to try and remember to do a mid-year check in to see how I'm doing. But so far 2010 FTW!