in a pot, not a pan

My 9 year old niece is very BUSY. She has a ton of interests and likes to do projects that often involve inventing or making something. She takes pieces of cardboard and bits and bobs she finds in the cupboards and makes them into little invented board games. This one time, about two years ago, she cracked open a whole bag of almonds from their shells and candy coated them with melted chocolate. All on her own. We didn’t know what she was up to until she came in from the backyard with a bag of shelled almonds and a hammer. This other time I was talking to her and she said “my pants ripped, so I had to sew them.” Sure enough, there was a crooked line of tiny stitches up one of her pant legs. I told my sister I was impressed and she said “Yeah, me too. I wasn’t even home.” So I guess what I’m saying is that once she gets and idea in her head she HAS TO DO IT. Anyhow, that’s not what this post is about, I just like those stories.

This one time my dad and I were hanging out with my 9 year old niece and she wanted to make lemonade. My parents happen to have a very prolific lemon tree so she got to work picking, cutting, and juicing lemons. Then she requested simple syrup because she knows that just regular old sugar won’t do. My dad volunteered to make it and I started looking up a recipe on my phone. My niece cut in with “Wait! Listen, here’s how you do it! You just take a certain amount of sugar and your own amount of water and you put it in a pot, not a pan, and then you cook it!”

My dad and I thought that was about the funniest thing ever, until my dad accidentally used confectioners’ sugar and burned it and then had to start all over again, but by that time my mom was home and she made the simple syrup WITHOUT MEASURING ANYTHING, which basically meant that my niece was totally RIGHT—she had SEEN my mom put a certain amount of sugar and her own amount of water in a pot, not a pan, and then cook it.

My sister (not, incidentally, this 9 year old niece’s mom) is one of those people who only ever wants cookbooks for her birthday and Christmas and spends hours in the kitchen trying and perfecting recipes. She’ll make things like homemade pot pie with homemade crust, or chicken tikka masala, or steak with twice baked potatoes and it’s all deliciously intimidating. “This recipe is so EASY,” she’ll say, zesting an orange while simultaneously stoving something and ovening something else.

I don’t like reading recipes or following recipes, or doing anything that involves more than about six steps, so I much prefer instructions like my niece’s simple syrup.

I’m not good at cooking. And I don’t like to cook. I don’t know why. I just DON’T.

Actually, I think it might go back to my feelings of inadequacy from this post. I guess… I kind of subconsciously (semi-consciously?) feel like if I don’t cook well and often enough, that I’m not doing it right and I just shouldn’t even bother. And it’s this sort of thinking that has resulted in 31 year old me to subsist primarily on buttered noodles, snacks, takeout, and an eclectic combination of whatever my current tastes are.

There was the tortilla soup phase. And the lentils with quinoa phase. The Israeli cous cous phase. And every once in awhile I get re-jazzed about getting farm fresh fruits and veggies delivered to my apartment and I’ll sign up again. For the first few boxes I’ll be all LOOK AT ME AND MY EGGPLANT HASH and OH NO BIG DEAL I’M JUST SAUTEEING SOME KALE LIKE A MFING BOSS. And then eventually I won’t cook it all up on the first day it arrives and I’ll have rhubarb and leeks spoiling in my fridge and the emotional weight of a thousand rotten dandelion greens on my shoulders.

I don’t have a solution. At work I sort of graze all day long- cheese, sliced meats, cut up veggies and dip, crackers, nuts. I also have recently decided not to let myself be hemmed in by this ‘time of day’ nonsense, because really who cares if I eat my leftover enchiladas at 10AM and then have a waffle for dinner? Nobody, that’s who. So leftovers or a bagel or nothing for breakfast, then grazing grazing grazing, and then something breakfasty (a waffle or eggs), buttered noodles, or takeout/snacks for dinner. Geez. When I write it out like that it looks terrible. But! Did I tell you I’ve cut back on soda on weekdays?

I’ve lived by myself for about 5 years now, so the majority of the food I prepare is just for me. And me doesn’t care whether I have a wholesome, made-with-love dinner or a glass of milk and a veggie roll sushi from the corner store. I just… I don’t want to go to all the trouble of making some big dinner if it dirties every pan in my home and the person eating it (me) doesn’t sufficiently appreciate it.

I would LIKE to have a couple of go-to recipes. Sometimes I do come home from work and I have nothing prepared and I’m out of eggs and milk and I don’t feel like eating noodles, so then I just have whatever I can scrounge up from my cupboards and it ends up being fairly pathetic. And what if, someday, it’s not just me eating the food I produce? I don’t envision myself becoming some domestic goddess or even a cooks-for-pleasure type person like my sister, because I’m just not going to. And if put to the task I CAN make food. I mean, I know how to put meats and vegetables into my oven and have them come out decently-tasting, and I can make my sister’s tortilla soup which is just this side of heaven, but I guess what I’m looking for is food that I can make easily and with only a couple of steps that will have the end result of looking something like a whole MEAL. Someone who can roast a chicken might roast that chicken and then make some rice vegetables to go with it. And I CAN do that, but it takes so LONG and it dirties so many DISHES and it’s just ME eating that it ends up feeling like too many steps and ugh, I’ll just have a waffle again.

Last week I made some pasta I like.

I don’t want to jinx it or get ahead of myself here, but I think, I THINK I have come up with something I might actually put into the rotation of Things I Cook, and actually keep it there.

Here’s whatcha do. I’m not including pictures because nobody really cares, right? Okay, so. Step 1. Buy some noodles and some red sauce and some alfredo sauce. The alfredo sauce should come in a smaller jar than the red sauce. Step 2. Cook the noodles (in a pot, not a pan). Step 3. Heat up the sauces both together. Step 4. Drain the noodles, pour some olive oil and the sauce mixture over the noodles. DONE. Delicious. Step 5. Duplicate and elaborate. No big deal but I totally added mushrooms and red peppers to the batch I made the other day and I FEEL like I could branch out to adding more veggies and also, say, chicken. It doesn’t so much change my day to day life (leftovers for breakfast, grazing grazing grazing, whatever for dinner), but it IS a food that I could prepare for another human person and they could eat it and be full and it doesn’t include any traditional breakfast foods or takeout or microwaving.  So here we are. I am 31 and I can now make a slightly more interesting pasta than plain buttered noodles, with the skill and instruction level of a 9 year old. PAT ON THE BACK FOR ME.

Tortilla Soup & Crispy Bits

I called my sister recently to ask for her recipe for these little crispy bits she makes out of tortillas. Well, I guess you would just call them tortilla chips. But they're extra delicious and crispy and that doesn't seem to capture it entirely. Anyhow the conversation went something like this:
Me: Hey how do you make those tortilla crispy strip thingies?
Her: What?
Me: You know, those crispy tortilla strip things you make with tortilla soup?
Her: Yeah.
Me: How do you make them?
Her: You just... fry them in oil.
Me: But what kind of oil? And for how long? How do I know when--
Her: You just fry them in vegetable oil or canola oil and take them out when they're done. It's really easy.
Me: Okay. Thanks....
Her: Are you making tortilla soup?
Me: No.
Her: WHAT? You have to! It's easy! Do it!
And then she texted me the recipe. And I bought some unfamiliar spices and have since entered a new era of my life full of deliciousness.

So! If you are looking for a yummy, relatively easy, very healthy recipe then... look somewhere else. But if you are looking for a yummy, relatively easy recipe then by all means continue!

Tortilla Soup & Crispy Bits
Ingredients:
onion
cilantro
package of corn tortillas (I usually get a 30-pack)
petite diced tomatoes
chili powder
cumin
cayenne pepper
salt
chicken broth
optional- chicken, rice, spicier things
garnishes- tortilla strips, cheese, sour cream, avocado

Start by putting some rice on to cook, however much you'd like to make. I'm not here to micromanage you. I like to cook 1 and a half cups of rice along with a half cup of quinoa. Also, if you want chicken in your soup now it the time to start that as well-- cook and then shred or dice it.

Chop up an onion and then brown it in your soup pot.

Cut or tear up four corn tortillas and add them along with 1/2 cup of diced cilantro. Cook that for 4 minutes. I don't know why it is 4 minutes; I don't make the rules.

I usually tear or cut up the tortillas smaller than I did in this batch. This one turned out fine, though.

Add 28 oz petite diced tomatoes and bring to a boil.

Yah, sorry, some of these are crappy cell phone photos and some are from my camera. Because these photos are actually from two different times I made this recipe. I figured it was better to be thorough than fancy?

Add some spices:
1 tablespoon chili powder
1 teaspoon cumin
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon salt

I find it easier to measure these into a separate bowl first before I toss them in the pot with the rest of the soup-- less opportunity for the lid to fall off the cayenne pepper bottle and ruin my day.

And 2 things of chicken broth (or 8 cups). If you are using chicken add it now, too. I usually don't.

Simmer for 10 minutes. Done.

You can make your crispy tortilla bits and soup at the same time or separately. Either way, here's whatcha do. Cut up the rest of the corn tortillas from your package (you won't be sorry you used them all, trust me). Fill up a pan with canola oil (or some kind of oil). Heat up the oil. Put the tortilla strips in.

Take them out when they are crispy. Let them drain onto paper or cloth and sprinkle generously with salt.

It's really less of a "sprinkle" of salt and more of a "handful."

I throw a clump of rice in a bowl, then cover it with soup and garnishes. KC does the same, but he usually chops up a spicy pepper and adds that to his.
Really, this soup is more of a vehicle for garnishes, so here's where you want to get out your avocado, sour cream, cheese, and of course your crispy tortilla bits.

That is the photo I took and sent to my sister the first time I made the recipe. Really, my setup looks more like this:

Soup, garnishes, and beverages. I like to dip the tortilla strips into the sour cream and then float them in the soup. Annnnnd now you know why I don't call it healthy.

Candied Maple Walnuts

This is a recipe that my mom taught me that she adapted from... somewhere else I'm assuming. Magazine? Cookbook? No idea. But she taught it to me a couple years ago because she thought I needed a thing I could always whip up for parties or give as little gifties. So now I do just that. It is a very easy recipe, which is why I am sharing it and also why I'm a tad reluctant to share it. Because either people are faking their enthusiasm or they find these VERY YUMMY and tend to be surprised that I made them. "You made these?" they ask. "HOW?" And I hem and haw and 'oh it's a family recipe' them and eventually admit it is almost shamefully easy.

Assemble your ingredients.

1. Walnuts
2. Maple syrup
3. Cooking oil or butter

Preheat the oven to 300 degrees.

Put walnuts in a bowl.

Pour in some maple syrup. The original recipe called for 2 tablespoons, to which I say HA.

I use a lot of maple syrup. I don't measure it, I just pour it until it looks like all the walnuts are nicely coated.

In this photo you can kind of get an idea of how MUCH syrup I use since you can see it pooling over there on the right.

Cover a cookie sheet with aluminum foil. DO NOT SKIP THIS STEP; you will be sorry.
I used to use butter to grease the aluminum foil, but recently I made a batch for a friend who is dairy allergic so I tried canola oil and I found it was easier to work with. So pour a little canola oil on the tin foil and swish it around with your fingers until it is coated.
Then dump the walnuts onto the cookie sheet and let the excess maple syrup drip onto them.

Bake at 300 for 20-25 minutes, or until they look kind of like this:

Scoop the walnuts into a bowl and let them cool. You can let them cool on the cookie sheet if you want, but then you'll have to pry them off the aluminum foil and sometimes they get really stuck.
PSA: The maple syrup rinses off the aluminum foil really easily with a little soapy water, so when you're done with it you can toss it in the recycle bin.

After the walnuts cool you can package them up nicely and give them as gifts! Or eat them!

I've also successfully used this recipe with cashews (because KC doesn't like walnuts), so presumably it works with other nut varieties.
Also, sometimes I add a pinch of salt either before or after I bake the walnuts (but I usually forget).

Ta da! Candied Maple Walnuts!

Any Leafy Green

So I get this box of Farm Fresh Fruits and Veggies delivered to my door every other week. And I LOVE IT. It's like... a fun surprise, a grocery shopping trip, and a pat on the back for being healthful all wrapped up in one little package at my door.

Apparently now is the season for leafy greens. I keep getting them. Remember when I asked you what the heck this was, and how to cook it? Even though not everyone agreed on what exactly it could be, most of you said "saute that thang, sucka." You seem to be presuming I know how to saute (sautee?).

No matter, I'll just take a shot in the dark here. I now present to you, dear people of the world, my recipe for cooking Any Leafy Green, even if you aren't sure what it is. Prepare yourselves for sauteed (sauted?) awesomeness.

Okay, here's whatcha do. First, ready your leafy green. Looks like I've got Bok Choy today (right?).

Then, put your skillet on the stove and pour in some olive oil.

Now toss in your Leafy Greens. And, like, stir them around or whatever. Next, add some real lemon juice.

It's real lemon juice, see? Says so on the bottle.

Put down your camera and close the bottle top and now put the lemon juice back in the fridge. Don't accidentally put your camera in the fridge-- you will feel like a breathtaking idiot. Ahem.

Moving on.

Stir your Leafy Greens around. And maybe put the lid on that pan and let the heat do the damn thang.

 

Mmmm, sweaty.

After a little while taste your Leafy Green to make sure it is done, then turn off the heat and, you know, nom it up!

Soup

Is anyone out there wondering why I sometimes post recipes when I CLEARLY have no idea what I am doing in the kitchen? In a way, you've answered your own question, my friend.

I like to cook for myself because (a) it's cheaper than always getting takeout, (b) I've heard food is probably better for you when you make it yourself out of ingredients than if you get all prepackaged/premade/fast food, and (c) I feel more like a grownup. However, I also seem to have a problem with recipes. More specifically, I have a problem with quantities. I'm much more comfortable with the idea of ingredient names than ingredient numbers. If a recipe calls for a big ol' list of a 1/2 cup of rinsed this and 2 1/3 cups of diced that then I generally feel like abandoning it in favor of a nap before I'm halfway through. (I don't feel this way when it comes to baking, however. I get that cookie recipes need to be followed specifically to the letter). So, while I have great respect for people who create and/or follow recipes with exact quantities, I'm going to go ahead and continue with my attempts to use recipes without them.

Okay, so are we on board with my no-quantities style? I mean, I could try and fake it for you....

So. Soup. I love soup. Love it. And I tried to make a few weeks ago. I looked up a couple of recipes for cream of chicken with rice soup and then I gave it a whirl, in my quantity-ignoring way. Here is how it came out:


Yeah. So. Fail. But on the bright side, I renamed it "risotto" and ate it for 3 days.

And then someone gave me a tip-- add the rice or pasta or whatever at the end. Don't fill up the pot with uncooked rice because you are probably overestimating the amount you are going to need and then you'll end up with sloppy rice goo instead of soup. Not that I would know anything about that.

So I made minestrone last week.


And then yesterday I made this lentil-barley-squash soup. Which is yummy but I think next time I won't add kidney beans to it because yeesh it's almost TOO nutritious.


So, without further ado. Here it is. My super easy soup recipe.

Ingredients
Broth (Chicken, beef, or vegetable. I buy these at the store. I don't have room in my life to do anything that involves boiling a chicken carcass for hours like apparently you're supposed to)
Vegetables (fresh, frozen, sauteed, whateva you like)
Beans (so far I have used canned kidney beans and dry lentils)
Some nummy carb-- rice, barley, little pasta shapes...
Water
Salt, Pepper, Spices

Pour the broth into a pot. Add your vegetables and beans. Turn on the stove to high and let it boil. Then turn it down low and let it simmer until everything seems cooked enough. Toss in some spices if you've got them. Not enough broth? Add some water and salt and pepper. Oh yeah, you can also add meat if that's something that interests you and you've got leftovers from dinner yesterday.

At the same time, separately, cook the pasta or rice or barley the normal way you do. When it's done, scoop it into the pot with the rest of the soup. Or else you can keep the two separate and combine them in individual servings. The point is, now it's done and you can eat.

Mmmm soup.

Pasta Salad

So apparently my mental ratio of pasta to sauce was way off last night because I now have a ton of leftover pasta and only a little sauce.

That is actually the pasta that is still leftover AFTER I made the following recipe. Note to self: pasta looks smaller before it is cooked.

Today I made this, the easiest pasta salad ever.

Ingredients
Cooked, refrigerated pasta
Something Else (chicken? other meats? veggies? fancy cheese?)
Olive oil
Lemon juice

Put the pasta in a bowl. Add olive oil and lemon juice to taste. Stir. Add your Something Else. I had some chicken with garlicky mushrooms in the fridge so I cut the chicken up into little pieces and added that. Stir some more. Now you're done!


If you happen to have a jar of olives in your fridge and you are thinking "maybe I'll add some olives, that would probably taste good," don't bother. You won't be able to get the jar lid off.

Cream Cheese Pasta

If, at some point, you decide to make yourself some salmon for dinner and you go to scoop some rice out of its container into the rice cooker for your side dish only to realize that there is no rice left and you haven't been to the store in weeks so you really don't know what ELSE you might have, then this recipe may be for you.

Ingredients
Orzo pasta
Frozen veggies (I used the last little bit of a bag of broccoli and the last little bit of a bag of mixed veggies)
Olive oil
Cream cheese
Lemon juice (I keep a bottle in my fridge. You could use a real lemon if you want)
Salt & pepper
Spices

Boil water in a pot, toss in some orzo pasta (I had about a half a box of this; I'm sure other pasta varieties would work just as well), reduce heat to medium blah blah or whatever just cook the pasta till it is done. Drain it and return it to the pot. Pour in a teeny bit of olive oil, just to make stirring easier. Pour in your frozen veggies (no need to pre-cook!) and stir them all around.

Now grab your cream cheese (I used regular whipped cream cheese) and scoop some into the mixture. I used about half an 8 oz container (in other words, 4 oz) and it was probably a bit much. Squirt in some lemon juice. Shake on some salt and pepper and other spices if you have them. I had oregano, basil, thyme, and garlic powder. I used probably one hefty shake of garlic powder and less of the other 3 spices.

Keep stirring until the veggies are completely cooked and add a pinch of this or that until the taste is to your liking.


Lemon juice and cream cheese-- my secret ingredients. I know this combo probably sounds weird, but it turned out quite yummy. You can play around with proportions of ingredients (I didn't measure anything, I just kept adding stuff until I thought it tasted good) or leave the cream cheese out altogether if you want to be all heart healthy about it.

Fried Rice

If you wildly overestimated the amount for rice you were going to eat in one sitting and have a whole bunch leftover but are kind of tired of eating it plain, might I suggest making fried rice? It's easy!

Ingredients
Rice- cooked & refrigerated (mine was from the day before)
Frozen mixed veggies
Oil

Pour some oil (I used extra virgin olive oil) into a large skillet. The amount of oil depends on how much rice you are using. I suppose I could give you quantities to work with, but the amount of rice I used was "one plastic tupperware container-full" and the oil was "two glugs" so I'm not sure that would help. Anyhow, use enough oil to lightly coat the whole pan.

Dump the rice in the pan and turn on the burner to medium. Add the frozen veggies (no need to pre-cook!) and stir it all around. If you want to stand there and stir to make sure the veggies are cooking and the mixture is mixing, then you go right ahead. Or you can cover the pan, reduce the heat a bit and go do something else.

When the rice looks done (another relative term, but I think it should be slightly browner than it was and also not sticking togther. You can also measure by eating one of the veggies. Still frozen? Maybe leave it all cooking for a bit longer), turn off the burner and remove the pan. Add soy sauce to taste.


I also ate some (store-bought, frozen) boiled potstickers with the rice. I tried pan frying the potstickers once but now I think I would rather deal with the "less yummy taste" problem than the "potsticker skins stuck to my pan that need a week to soak off" problem.

Strawberries

Miss Molly likes strawberries! Per her request/contest, here is one of my favorite recipes that involves strawberries. My VERY favorite is my mom's strawberry preserves, but I've never actually made that on my own (usually my contribution involves a little stirring and a lot of licking the spoons). So I didn't feel like I could claim ownership. But this recipe is delicious and easy as pie. Wait, actually. Easier. Easier than pie. Anyways, I thought it appropriate to post this today-- happy birthday, Molly!


Strawberries and Sugar

Ingredients
1. Strawberries
2. Powdered sugar (regular sugar will also work in a pinch)

Instructions
1. Wash strawberries. Drying is optional.
2. Pour powdered sugar into a bowl. Try not to spill it all over the counter/floor.
3. Dip strawberries into powdered sugar.
4. Eat them.

YUM!

Julia's Delicious Hot Cocoa

The weather has turned a bit chilly so I've been craving winter treats. Here is the recipe for my lovely, rather decadent, chocolatey cocoa.

Buy the cheapest mix you can find. Scoop 2 to 6 teaspoonfulls of mix into a mug.

Add water until full. Place mug in microwave and hit "easy minute." Watch cup spin slowly around on plate in microwave. Turn away for two seconds to put the mix away and turn back to find that cup has boiled over.

Mop up chocolatey water from plate and wipe away chocolate globules from outside of cup. Stir vigorously. Enjoy!

Yam Fries

The recipe for my latest attempt at domesticity:

Go to store and stare aimlessly around produce section. Come home with, among other things, several carrots and a yam. Ponder what might have possessed you to buy a yam since the amount of yams you have consumed in your entire life could fit inside a medium sized purse. Leave yam and carrots in fridge for approximately 1 week.

Remove from fridge, wash, and dry. Admire these items for a moment and congratulate yourself on the interesting healthy food choices you are making.

Cut the yam and carrots into smallish pieces. Put them on a baking sheet and sort of shuffle them around in some olive oil. Add a few shakes of salt and pepper.

Bake on 400 for, oh, around 15 minutes.

Enjoy.

Pairs well with green bean orzo pasta soup, leftover breadsticks, and San Francisco tap water.