Friday, April 9, 2010


I just wrote and erased this like four times already which apparently means I'm having trouble putting it into words. But! I'm trying again! Here goes....

Sometimes I do this thing. If someone gives me the sense that they suspect something of me-- that I'm lying or hiding something or not doing what I'm supposed to-- then I tend to get all nervous and flustered. And I'M SURE that this gives off the impression that I AM hiding something or lying through my teeth or that I just snooped through their email inbox.

And then, because I know I look guilty, I start to FEEL guilty, like I feel bad for doing whatever it is I perceive the person thought I was doing. And then I get even more sweaty and discombobulated, all the while trying to make it clear that really! nothing's wrong! I'm totally innocent!!!!!

I think there needs to be a word for this condition. I can't be the only person to whom this happens, does it ever happen to you?