Someone please teach me.

As someone who voluntarily spurts my thoughts and feelings onto the internet on a semiregular basis, one might think that I have some sort of technological knowledge and could at least hold my own in a discussion about things gaget-related. This is incorrect. I am stunningly lost when it comes to things pertaining to the internet and, like, editing the way things look on my page (code? what?). I tried and failed to set up google analytics. And JUST LAST MONTH I figured out how to set up a feed reader and I am still getting used to how it works (which, I will admit, is much better than trying to just remember the web pages of all the blogs I wanted to read like I used to do. Yeah). Jewels = not so great with the new technical thingamajigies.

Today I bought this:


The Blackberry Curve.

And, uh. I hate it.

Okay, that's not true. I don't HATE it. But I don't LOVE it, like Mr. Verizon Store Man said I would. And I'm kind of kicking myself because I had thanked him for telling me all about the phones and told him I was planning to come back tomorrow but he was all "oh you won't regret buying this phone here look at this and this and that and just listen to my sooooothing voice don't worrrrrry, haaand over your credit card it'll all be over sooooooon." And so I bought it. And now I'm not sure it's the right phone for me, so I am considering taking it back.

I am someone who tends to have very specific requirements for items like bags and hairbands so I definitely don't want to jump right into a new phone purchase without carefully deciding on the characteristics I need. So here is (roughly) what I am looking for:

• I need a phone that can go on the internet, where I can look up directions and do some web browsing and whatnot while away from my computer. I would like to be able to check my email. And having little application buttony things wouldn't be so bad, but it's not a requirement. But is a Blackberry or whatever THAT much better than a regular phone plus internet?
  
• I do not want an iphone. I have Verizon and don't want to switch. Also, I am not interested in purchasing an iphone and defiling it somehow in order to make it compatible with Verizon. Also, I don't want to spend $300.
• I want to spend $100 or less. This is the amount of my upgrade with 2 more years of Verizon.
  
• I want the phone to look and act like a phone when I use it as a phone. I want it to be easy to hear the other person and for it not to be too bulky when I hold it up to my ear.
• No flip phones! I break them in half.
• A largeish screen would be nice.
• I desperately need something easy to use. I might just not have a delicate enough touch, but the little rolly ball thing on the Blackberry Curve is driving me crazy.
  
• I thought I didn't want a touch screen phone because of the whole seeing it in the sunlight aspect. But now I am rethinking this opinion and feeling unsure.
  

So... what should I get? The EnV? The Blackberry Storm? Something that flips open sideways with the qwerty keyboard? Something with a touch screen? A Tin Can With Piece of String?

This is a cry for help.