Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Letters

Dear Birthday,
Couldn't you hang back for a week or two? I think I'll be more ready for you then.
~ Jules


Dear Palmdale Dude,
If a group of friends are splitting the check at a restaurant, it is not appropriate to hand me $17 for your $17 dinner. In California, we pay tax and tip. When I ask you for a few extra bucks because I think you have forgotten to include it, open up your wallet-- don't tell me it's just "your way" to not tip. If you don't pay tax or tip, your friends have to pick up the slack. And guess who we won't be inviting next time we go out to eat?
~ Jules


Dear Duggars,
For your next published work, please refrain from writing in the first person for both of you. It is just plain aggravating to read "I (Jim Bob) went to the store" or "I (Michelle) was exhausted" over and over again. Also, tuna fish and barbecue sauce? Really?
~ (Jules)


Dear Family,
I did not get my tattoo to express anguish or depression. I am not trying to hurt anyone, and I am sorry if I have. Of course I love you and care what you think, but I'm not about to live my life based on other people's judgment.
~ Me


Dear Steve Madden,
I think $50 is too much to pay for plain black flats. And that was on sale.
~ Jules
p.s. Settle a bet- are you related to John Madden?


Dear Potential Employers,
Please hire me. I know I am a new nurse, but I am meticulous, thorough, smart, and eager to learn. Give me a chance!
~ Jules, RN

Dear Silver Dollar Sized Patch of Skin on the Back of My Leg,
Why are you cold all the time? Are you trying to tell me that I have a vascular disease? Please go away.
~ Jules


I borrowed this format from Swistle and Nowheymama.