Saturday, March 21, 2009

nursery rhymes

Some examples:
The Grand Old Duke of York
Oh the grand old Duke of York, he had ten thousand men.
He marched them up to the top of the hill, and he marched them down again.
And when they were up, they were up.
And when they were down, they were down.
And when they were only halfway up, they were neither up nor down.

Sounds to me like somebody got just a TAD LAZY after writing the first two lines.

Handy Spandy
Handy Spandy, Jack-a-dandy,
loves plum cake and sugar candy.
He bought some at the grocer's shop,
and out he came, hop, hop, hop!

I'm guessing he's hopped up on all that sugar candy.

Higglety, Pigglety, Pop!
Higglety, pigglety, pop!
The dog has eaten the mop,
the pig's in a hurry,
the cat's in a flurry.
Higglety, pigglety, pop!

I'm sorry. The dog has EATEN the what now?

Wee Willie Winkie
Wee Willie Winkie runs through the town.
Upstairs and downstairs in his nightgown.
Rapping at the window, crying through the lock.
'Are the children in their beds, it's past eight o'clock!'

Well, first of all, if the children were in their beds they sure as hell aren't now, what with all the RAPPING and CRYING. And, second of all, who the hell is this guy?? Wearing his nightgown and runs around knocking on doors at night? The town lunatic?? And, speaking of lunatics:

Gregory Griggs
Gregory Griggs, Gregory Griggs
had twenty-seven different wigs.
He wore them up, he wore them down
to please the people of the town.
He wore them east, he wore them west
but he never could tell which he loved best.

I wonder just how 'pleased' the people of the town were when they saw old be-wigged Gregory flouncing their direction.