sailboat

i told them not to wait for me, i wouldn't return for years
packed a compass and my father's watch, ignored my mother's tears
climbed aboard my masterpiece with a bag of just-hatched newts
hung them over the starboard side, donned my anti-salmon boots

six miles off the coast and drifting, wishing for a change in tides
my prison of hammered and painted wood, water grabbing at its sides
i'm ready with my funnelscope to find singing red-horn whales
-- i built myself a sailboat, but i forgot to bring the sails


(Some people were talking about not liking poetry on Twitter this morn so I thought I'd post this. It's from a magical realism-ish collection I wrote it back in 2004 for the final project in one of my classes. I was a Creative Writing major, dammit.)

Park, Boat, Hat, Ducks, Turtles

Even though I live in San Francisco I haven't spent very much time in Golden Gate Park. And I keep accidentally calling it Central Park. Whoops. Anyhow, Saturday! Saturday I went boating in Central Golden Gate Park. In a boat.
This boat, specifically:

There was a 30 minute wait for those paddle boat thingies but if you wanted a leaky old rowboat with one wonky paddle? STEP RIGHT UP. And do you see that shadow? That's me in my NEW HAT. I bought it on Friday and have since become obsessed with it. Also please note how dainty I am with my pinky up.

I rowed for a little while, mostly for entertainment purposes because, well, I have spaghetti arms as you can see here:

Most of the time I did this:

Sat in the boat WITH MY NEW HAT ON!

We saw a family of ducks:

And a LIVE ACTION version of Yertle the Turtle:

"I'm Yertle the Turtle! Oh, marvelous me! For I am the ruler of all that I see!"

All in all, a fun adventure in Centr Golden Gate Park!

nursery rhymes

Some examples:
The Grand Old Duke of York
Oh the grand old Duke of York, he had ten thousand men.
He marched them up to the top of the hill, and he marched them down again.
And when they were up, they were up.
And when they were down, they were down.
And when they were only halfway up, they were neither up nor down.

Sounds to me like somebody got just a TAD LAZY after writing the first two lines.

Handy Spandy
Handy Spandy, Jack-a-dandy,
loves plum cake and sugar candy.
He bought some at the grocer's shop,
and out he came, hop, hop, hop!

I'm guessing he's hopped up on all that sugar candy.

Higglety, Pigglety, Pop!
Higglety, pigglety, pop!
The dog has eaten the mop,
the pig's in a hurry,
the cat's in a flurry.
Higglety, pigglety, pop!

I'm sorry. The dog has EATEN the what now?

Wee Willie Winkie
Wee Willie Winkie runs through the town.
Upstairs and downstairs in his nightgown.
Rapping at the window, crying through the lock.
'Are the children in their beds, it's past eight o'clock!'

Well, first of all, if the children were in their beds they sure as hell aren't now, what with all the RAPPING and CRYING. And, second of all, who the hell is this guy?? Wearing his nightgown and runs around knocking on doors at night? The town lunatic?? And, speaking of lunatics:

Gregory Griggs
Gregory Griggs, Gregory Griggs
had twenty-seven different wigs.
He wore them up, he wore them down
to please the people of the town.
He wore them east, he wore them west
but he never could tell which he loved best.

I wonder just how 'pleased' the people of the town were when they saw old be-wigged Gregory flouncing their direction.

A Thanksgiving Tale

The sun it did shine, it was a beautiful day

so we went for a drive out along the bay

We drove and we drove, my parents and me

And my aunt and uncle and their other guests, three

The kids visiting from France, my aunt's relatives

got to see just how we Americans live....

With the trees and the breeze and the blue blue sky,

we watched as the butterflies played oh so high.

We watched for awhile but grew tired and parched.

"Time to go" said my dad, back to the cars we all marched.

But on the way home, my sis called in alarm--

it turned out her daughter had broken her arm.

She'd been bouncing and playing and having such fun,

but now she'd need surgery, so my dad had to run

to the hospital ER, to come to their aid.

So he left the house while arrangements were made.

Without Dad or my sister, Mom and I made the best.

We served lunch and entertained our guests.

Then Mom said "it is time to throw all this away.

Crab doesn't keep, not for a third day."

"No, wait!" I cried out. "Not the yummy crab meat!

I will finish it all. I will sit here and eat."

So I ate and I ate. And it was quite a good trick.

(Though I admit afterwards I felt a tiny bit sick.)

We turned on the football, asked our guests to sit.

My mom cooked the turkey, I helped out a bit.

I mashed the potatoes, I mixed up the veggies.

(My mother and I were just a tiny bit edgy.)

"The turkey is ready!" said Mom. "So is the rest.

But wait. Where on earth are all of our guests?"

I turned and I looked-- it was true, they weren't there.

Not on the family room sofa or chair.

Not in the bathroom or bedroom; not in the hall

They were not anywhere to be found-- not at all!

And then something went bump!

How that bump made us jump!

We looked! Then we saw them step in through the door.

We looked! And we saw them! There were Things galore.

Thing One and Thing Two, what a strange sight to see.

And another Thing One, Thing Two, and Thing Three!

These Things in the house eating turkey and pie;
These Things in the house playing games, drinking wine.

These Things in the house when my father was out;

These Things in the house with no children about....

Our Thanksgiving plans had gone a bit awry,

but we had quite a time, the Things, Mom, and I.

Then my sister and family came in late at night.

She said, "How was the dinner? Did it all go all right?"

And really, I did not know what to say.

How could I begin to explain our day?

Would I tell her about it? Now what would I do?

Well... what would you do if your sister asked you?

Happy Thanksgiving!