Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Profiling Myself (Part 6: The Older Gentleman)

I know it's been awhile since I've written about my adventures in online dating but I haven't forgotten about it and I hope you haven't either. For anyone who hasn't been following along you can read about my online dating profile here and here, and the other emails I received here, here, and here.
You guys. YOU GUYS. I thought I had lost this email and I found it today on my phone. This message is from a 63 year old gentleman who calls himself Thor5.

You seem like an interesting and intelligent woman who has an incredibly positive outlook towards life, and I wish you the best. We should talk. You will not be bored.

I realize I may be over the ideal age of men you are looking for, but I think we should talk. Most of my students think I am in my early 40’s. Having tried out for the US Olympic cycling team twice, I keep extremely fit. You will
never possibly meet anyone as educated as me. I have a Ph. D (UCLA), law degree (University of Pennsylvania) and an extra year in 7th grade (I was a bit of a juvenile delinquent). I am not that impressed with education. What a person has in their hearts and minds can best be judged by their values and whether they have the character to reflect their values in their actions. By the way being in love is both an art and a craft. I think we have similar values and I know we could have a great conversation,

I could go on with such statements, but my right hand just came out of a cast and typing is extremely slow and awkward. It would be great if you could respond to me.

Uh. Wow. First of all, I will NEVER meet anyone more educated than you? Never? Also, why did you try to wow me about all your fancy degrees and then say that you're not that impressed with education? Also, people mistake you for FORTY? People mistake me for a teenager, dude.
Also, I'm not going to post his picture for the sake of anonymity but I think it's safe to say that it is an olllld photo, if the greaser hair is any indication.

Being in love is both an art and a craft. PSA, everyone!