Tuesday, February 24, 2009

To Whom it May Concern,

I was going to post a comment, but I have a rather lot to say in response to this post and the heated flurry of comments it has generated. Jenny is one of my dearest friends so I cannot possibly be unbiased but I have a few things to say to Sir Anonymous/K. Dot.

1. I remember when Jenny and you first broke up. I remember that she was sad because of what it meant for her son. But I also remember her telling me (and Molly, from what I've read in the comments) that you are a good father, that your relationship with Gabriel is special and wonderful, and that she wanted to make a life for herself in Chico. I remember how hard it was for her and how much she agonized about it. Events transpired and she ended up back in Santa Cruz. And, as you say, you do not see Gabriel as often anymore. Here's the thing, though. Gabriel is your child. It is your right and responsibility to persue a relationship with him. It is not Jenny's responsibility to drive him up to Sacramento even though she made the decision to move to Santa Cruz. Gabriel and Jenny live in Santa Cruz. You live in Sacramento. Feeling indignant about this won't bring him any closer and treating Jenny with disrespect won't make her want to bring your son to you any more often. Even if she did "promise" to bring him to see you (which I doubt), it does not matter. If you want to see your son, see your son. That is the bottom line.

2. Why do you constantly feel like you have to mention that you left Jenny 4ish times before she moved out? From what I know of your relationship, I don't believe you. And even if it is true, WHO CARES? You care, apparently. But I can't understand why. What is your point, exactly? Why is this so important to you? And, just so you know, that scenario doesn't make you look any better... saying you broke up with Jenny several times before you officially broke up just makes it sound like you were too wishy washy and douchebaggy to shit or get off the pot. Whether you left her or she left you, nobody cares anymore. The relationship is over, so let it go.

3. I believe there are two sides to every story. And I don't necessarily agree with Jenny's decision to post so much of your interactions and disagreements on the internet. But your response of calling names and pointing fingers does not help your case. You say you don't care what she writes, but you appear to get very heated and angry about it. If you truly don't care what she writes about you, then don't read it. It clearly pushes your buttons, so maybe you should just try and stay away from it. And also, don't get all high and mighty about how Jenny blogs about her personal life and you wouldn't ever do that because, um, what's this?

4. I think it is interesting that you also feel the need to point out what a superior person you are becasue of your career, education level, money, etc etc. It is very nice to have those things. But there are fascinating people who are poor. There are brilliant people who are uneducated. There are successful people who do start out in crappy jobs. Some of the best people I know have held minimum wage jobs or been to jail. Remember, a true man is not measured by the weight of his purse.

These are my opinions. I know they will probably not change how you feel or act, but I do hope that you take some of it to heart. When I knew you, I never thought you were a bad person. Relationships are complicated and none of us will ever truly know what happened between you and Jenny. And, really, none of that matters now. All that matters is Gabriel and providing a stable, loving, consistent environment for him because someday he will be old enough to judge you for himself.