I've changed some of my classmates' names on the off-chance they don't want me quoting them on the internet.
Rachel: Remember last year around this time when we were waiting for our acceptance letters? When we felt like March first would NEVER EVER come?
Damian: Yeah, I remember calling my housemates twice a day to ask if they had checked the mail since I was out of town.
Rachel: We were so excited. Who knew we'd be so exhausted and jaded after a few months?
Damian: I think I knew after the first few hours on Orientation day.
Me: I went home and cried after Orientation.
Rachel: I went home and drank.
Prof: .... so when the fluid slips up and down like that, what is it called?
Prof: Yes, communicating.
The people sitting around Lana stare at her.
Lana [quietly]: I did the reading, motherfuckers.
Katy [noticing that she had spilled Andrew's coffee on the floor]: Shoot, do you have a napkin?
Me: No I don't have a napkin. I just spilled cottage cheese all over my crotch. If I had a napkin don't you think I'd be using if for that?
We're a delightful bunch.