New Year

A meme! Something to prompt my NYE writing! Good! Here we go.

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
Graduated from nursing school. Became a licensed Nurse Practitioner. Went on a medical mission. Went to an estate sale. Went to a flea market by myself. Rode the bus from San Diego to LA. Wrong number texted somebody.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I kept some of my resolutions more than others. I'll make some more for next year, but that's for another post.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Beckie! Lots of other people that I know less well.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Family and friends-wise, no. But several patients I worked with died (most of them were hospice patients).

5. What countries did you visit?
El Salvador.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
A full time NP job. A bigger apartment. Better self-appreciation.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The ones that I remember are for Bad Things. Let's let those dates fade away.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Writing and passing my Giant Paper Thing, graduating from nursing school, getting my NP license.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Giant Paper Thing.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing major. Unless heartbreak counts.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My Silver jeans.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?  
Yours. Yes, YOURS. I could not have made it through the year without friends, both of the know-me-in-real-life and know-me-only-on-the-internet variety. There was always someone there when I was in need of comfort, laughter, snark, help packing up my ex's stuff, or a crappy day present. I am so, so lucky.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? 

Jenny's ex boyfriend. My ex boyfriend, KC. My ex boyfriend from college. My friend's husband.

Various famous people and their bad choices and secret double lives.

14. Where did most of your money go? 

Living expenses. Assorted hoop-jumping for licensure.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Graduating. Glee Live. Christmas. HP7P2. My USC Trojans. Various going out adventures and shenanigans.

16. What song will always remind you of 2011? 

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:  

a) happier or sadder? At this moment I am happier. Overall this year I was sadder.
b) thinner or fatter? I dunno. About the same.

c) richer or poorer? Poorer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Spending time with friends and family. Being very present in the moment. Studying.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Weeping. Feeling bad about myself.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
At my parents' house. Wrapped in new jammies and love.

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?
The opposite.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
Parks and Recreation.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? 

My hatred is reserved for only the WORST of the worst, so no. But there are definitely people whom I newly dislike.

24. What was the best book you read?
The Hunger Games.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?  
This song makes me think of my awesome road trip with Jenny.

26. What did you want and get?
A degree in nursing.

27. What did you want and not get? 
A new phone. Mine is held together with rubber bands now. Technically I did order a new one in 2011, but it won't arrive until 'next year' (har har). I would REALLY like to have a better, cheaper plan but so far all of my jaunts to the Verizon store have left me shaky and angry, but without a better plan or the ability to access my account online. 2012 FTW?

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Went out with friends on the weekend before it. Got a massage and lunch with a friend on my actual birthday. Went to lunch with my family the weekend after it. I turned 29.

30. What is one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? 
Having a job waiting for me after graduation, instead of being in this weird limbo of studying for board exam/applying for jobs after obtaining a prestigious degree from a fine learning institution. Because I'm getting very tired of being told that since I'm a nurse it should be easy to get a job.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
New convert to leggings, still working out the kinks.

32. What kept you sane?
Friends, family, music, Twitter, comfort food, venting, running, reading, organizing my apartment, trashy TV.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Meh.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Planned Parenthood.

35. Who did you miss?
My LA peeps.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
All the people on my El Salvador trip, especially Monica.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.  
Things don't always turn out how you plan, even if you plan really really well and want it very badly and work really fucking hard.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Don't stop me now.

71. memorize the 12 Days of Christmas

Last year, Swistle blew my mind a little bit when she deconstructed first Do They Know it's Christmas, and then Winter Wonderland. I've been paying more attention to Christmas song lyrics this year, partly because of the aforementioned blown mind and partly because I was finally, FINALLY going to memorize the 12 Days of Christmas. Never say that I don't have goals, people.
As per my tradition, my car radio has been tuned to the Christmas music station since the day after Thanksgiving. Every time the 12 Days of Christmas comes on, I do my very best to belt it out, even if I'm in the car with another person and we were deep in conversation. "Hang on!" I'll say, "I have to do something! ON THE FIRST DAY OF CHRISTMAS, MY TRUE LOVE GAVE TO MEEE...."

I got to the point where I THOUGHT I had it memorized, but then recently I was singing along with the radio and I kept getting thrown off and tripping over the verses, like "TWELVE DRUMMERS D- oops, LORDS-A-LEAPING! ELEVEN PIPERS PI-, I mean, DRUMMERS DRUMMING!" And that didn't seem quite right. Because, as I remembered, the first seven days are all the birds, with a nice little time-out for the five gold rings. And then on the eighth day come the maids-a-milking, which makes for a good transition point from animals to humans because it is a human/animal combo verse (maid plus cow). And then the ninth day is ladies dancing, which makes sense because right after that comes the tenth day, with lords-a-leaping. If you've got ladies dancing, you must also have lords-a-leaping, and you should always have MORE lords-a-leaping than ladies dancing. And THEN of course, you round out the group with eleven pipers piping and twelve drummers drumming, because all of this merry-making could probably use a nice pipe and drum-based soundtrack (though I suspect the maids-a-milking probably get a little irked at this point, what with all the noise and dancing and LEAPING that's going on as they are trying to do their chores).

That was the version I memorized, and the one I heard most often on the radio, but now I was getting thrown off. So then I looked it up, and you know what I found out? Apparently, it is totally acceptable 12 Days of Christmas behavior to MIX UP THE LYRICS of the last few objects. You can even SUBSTITUTE some of the people with "fiddlers fiddling" or "ladies waiting," which makes me feel like we're being set up to fail. How can a person memorize the lyrics, if they can just CHANGE at any moment? Well, I'm crossing this item off my list because technically I DID memorize the lyrics; it's just a TRICK SONG.

Further on the subject of Christmas song lyrics, I can't listen to Baby, it's Cold Outside anymore because of the distinct date-rapey vibe (SAY WHAT'S IN THIS DRINK?). I make an exception of the Glee Cast version, because it's actually kinda cute.
And, is it just me, or is anyone else completely terrified by the concept of Frosty the Snowman? The kids build a snowman, put a hat on it, and then it COMES TO LIFE. And then, what? He threatens the kids with a broomstick in his hand, so now they're forced to follow him over the hills (probably farther than their mothers told them they were allowed to go), into town, and through an INTERSECTION. And just as they're getting kind of used to the idea of it being their lot in life to chase him around, he tells them "Sorry, I've gotta peace out" AND leaves them with a menacing "BUT I'LL COME BACK SOMEDAY." So now the poor kids have to go through life wondering which storm will bring the demon snowman back around.
I guess the message here is to always bring your OWN HAT when you're going to build a snowman, don't just use one you FIND. Lesson learned.

Stages

Denial

Anger

Depression

Comfort Food

Retail Therapy

Care Packages

Kind Words

Ridiculousness

Laughter.

Family, friends, love.

Happiness.

I give up.

There are no good guys.
There are just no good guys left. Are there? I would like to be proven wrong here, but it is definitely starting to seem like THERE REALLY ARE NO GOOD GUYS OMG.


On my online dating profile there is a section where you are supposed to write about the first things people notice about you. I wrote: "My hair, my tattoo, my wild hand gestures, my long-winded stories. My sparkling personality? I'm not going to put the thing most people REALLY notice about me on here, but if you meet me you'll know."
I'm assuming that most of you, dear readers, know what that last sentence refers to?
Anyhow, I met up with a guy a couple weeks ago and halfway through our beers he asked me about it.

Guy: So, what's the thing that people notice about you?

Me: You can't guess?

Guy: I don't know... it's not your tattoo, right? Because you mentioned that.

Me: No, not my tattoo.

Guy: Is it your nose? Your nose is kind of weird. It's your nose, isn't it?

Me: o_O


I met another boy a few weeks ago. He seemed nice, whatever. We hung out a few times... and then I mentioned something about how I would break up with a guy if he cheated on me. And then this boy gave me a speech about how cheating isn't THAT big of a deal because everybody cheats, even good guys, and KC probably cheated on me because guys usually do and a guy wouldn't give up a relationship unless there is someone else he wants, and I just don't understand because I don't have any kids (neither does he, by the way), but when you HAVE kids you realize that you have to work things out for the sake of the family, so when someone cheats then you forgive them. *pat pat on my head*
Me: O_o


And then there was last night. I went to see the Nutcracker with my friend's boyfriend's neighbor. I don't know him very well, and neither does my friend, nor her boyfriend. But we have all hung out in group settings before and I just assumed he was, y'know, NORMAL. I did NOT think he would abandon me on the street corner in an unfamiliar area of the Tenderloin. BUT THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED.
Here's what went down: One of the times the group of us all hung out, dude said he wanted to see the Nutcracker. I offered to go with him, if he was looking for someone with whom to go. So then last weekend he texted me and said he was buying the tickets for Friday (last night). I told him that I had an interview in Dublin at 4pm and I would hopefully be back in time, and I asked how much my ticket was. He said not to worry about it.
I ended up leaving Dublin at 5:30 so it took me two full hours to get home. I changed, grabbed a taxi, and made it to the theater at intermission. Dude was standing at the stairs with a glass of champagne for me. I was feeling cranky and bummed that I had missed the first half of the show, not to mention starving since I hadn't eaten much all day (too nervous because of the interview). But I drank my champagne and started to feel better. We watched the second half of the show (which was amazing, by the way) and then afterward dude asked me if I was hungry. Yes, I definitely was. He suggested a fancyish restaurant. I said we could just go to Mel's because I was really craving a grilled cheese sandwich. He said okay and we started to walk. After a block or so he said he really wanted to go to the fancy place. I said that was fine, let's go. So we walked... and walked and walked. We got to the restaurant and it was packed. So dude said we would go somewhere else and we started walking again. The following is a transcription of our conversation as we walked.

Him: I went to a new bar in my neighborhood called [something about a goat, I can't remember the name]. I just thought that was the stupidest name, ever. Like, why would you open a new bar and name it that?

Me: Because it's funny? I dunno. I think it sounds funny. Goats are funny.

Him: There's this other bar, I think it's near Eleventh and Folsom-

Me [laughing]: Is it the Holy Cow?

Him: Ugh. No. I hate that place.

Me: Whaaat? You can't hate that place! It's a dive club!

Him: People dance on tables there. I tend to avoid places like that.

Me: Oh.

We walk for awhile in silence.

Me [noticing that we are passing restaurants left and right]: Um. Where are we going?

Him: Well, if you want to go to any of these places we can, but I want to find this one.... [looking at phone].

Me: Okay.

We keep walking.

Him: Oh, here it is. Right up there.

Another block.

Me: Um. Where is this place?

Him: What? Are you getting annoyed?

Me: Well, no. But I mean, I don't want to walk forever. Where is this place?

Him: Right up there [gestures vaguely ahead].

More walking. (And let me explain here-- I don't usually MIND walking. I enjoy it, even. But tonight I was wearing fancy boots and a fancy outfit and I also just kind of wanted to pick a place and get some damn food.)

Me: Sooo, um, IS it right up there?

Him: Yeah.

Me [laughing]: Okay! Well NOW I'm annoyed!

Him: You know what? [stops walking, turns to face me, gives me a fake smile, grabs my hand, and shakes it].

Me: Wha?

Him: I'm just getting a really bad vibe from you.

Me: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean-

Him: I was really happy.

Me: And I'm bringing you down? I'm sorry, I just-

Him: [turns and walks away]

Me: [look around, realize I'm in an unfamiliar section of the Tenderloin and I don't know how to get out]

Me: O_O



I give up. There are no good guys.

D-lightful

This is D.

I met D on the first orientation day of the crazy accelerated RN part of our program. We were standing in line to get our photos taken for our name tags and I had turned away from this insufferable twit behind me and butted my way into D's conversation with another girl. I think my opening line was something about how heavy my backpack was, she agreed that hers was, too, and we've been friends ever since.
Since my specialty is Ger1atr1cs and D's is Midw1fery, we had all our classes together for only one quarter and then a few here and there for the rest of the three years. We would meet up for dinner or drinkies and I'd tell her about some 75 year old patient with a chronic illness I had seen, and she would tell me about the babies she had caught that day.

I met D when I was still with The Crazy Ex, and she was one of the first people I opened up to about how bad things really were with him. She is one of the people who never judged me, but who supported me endlessly and helped me pick up the pieces of my life after I got out of that situation. We have both gone through some rough times during our three years in school. I tend to get caught up with all the little things and stress and cry and FLIP OUT over everything, but D handles tough situations with endless grace and strength. If something is too hard to deal with at that moment she'll take a break and come back to it. "I had to put it on the shelf for awhile," she'll say. I don't think I could have gotten through the program without her.

D loves music and dances with her eyes closed. She is the girl you see at a coffee shop, studying a huge pile of books. She grows her own herbs. She'll strike up a conversation with anyone. While I tend to shy away from solo social activities and dislike most people, D will go to a concert by herself, meet a new friend on the bus ride there, and befriend the guys living in the park. She has friends named Mama Sue, Wolf, Fuzzy, and Brunch. She's the only person I know who doesn't just tolerate other people, she appreciates and, for lack of a better word, celebrates them.

She went to visit a friend a couple hours away and ended up getting LOST IN THE WOODS ALL NIGHT LONG. She'll tell you the story, which includes her getting separated from her group, losing her shoes, and sleeping in a ditch, and she'll laugh and shrug it off. "It was quite an adventure," she says. While I struggle to be open-minded and easygoing and adventurous and a light packer, D already is all of those things.

D recently moved up north to start working in a m1dw1fery practice. There was a snafu with her (out of state) license so her new workplace created a position for her to work as an RN until she could start practicing as a m1dw1fe, this week. I talked to her yesterday and she said it has been going well, but she's still nervous. I'll tell ya what, those ladies are lucky to have D working with them. Someday if/when I ever have babies, there is no question in my mind that I would want her there with me.

I miss you, girl. I don't think you know how special you are, but the rest of the world seems to. We're all lucky to have you.

For the Tots, 2011

Right around this time last year, I read a couple of posts by a certain Bloggess that inspired me to start my very first Christmas tradition of my own. I went out and bought a bunch of toys for the tots. They lived under my Christmas tree for a week or so, and then I donated them all. It made me so happy, knowing I was doing something good and helping people and putting smiles on kids' faces, plus there was the bonus of my house looking especially festive for a little while.
Here is what my tree looked like last year:

And here is what it looks like right now:

Actually, I took the photo last night. But the toys are still all there.

I may have gone a little overboard. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I bought all of these toys at Walgreens, using their buy two get one free and buy one get one free deals. I enjoy shopping in general and shopping for toys in particular, and this year I'm giving my nieces and nephews mostly stuff I found at the flea market (that they'll like!), so it was fun to go out and BUY TOYS. Lots of toys!

I'm going to donate them all this weekend. Shout out to the Bloggess for inspiring me to start doing this, and Merry Christmas to one and all!

Potpourri

This weekend was incredibly fun. On Friday afternoon Jenny and Gabriel came over and we hung out while we waited for Gabey's dad to pick him up. We watched my favorite Christmas movie and Gabey played with some early Christmas gifties I gave him. He was sweet and good and patient but his dad was about three hours late, which is an awful long time for a little boy to wait in a tiny apartment with next to no toys. Which means that my house transformed into a Justin Bieber-ified video watching/dance party space, as usual.
And Jenny caught these videos of me... singing?



Please take note that my cat is nearly the same size as Jenny's child.

And then we spent approximately twenty minutes attempting to pronounce the word anemone.
And then we went out! And the night was filled with shenanigans and tomfoolery, as per usual.


---

I spent Sunday at my parents' house, hanging out with some of my nieces and nephews and decorating their Christmas tree. It was the culmination of two solid weeks of me burning the candle at both ends, so to speak, so I spent a good amount of time sitting on the couch, handing ornaments to the kids and vaguely gesturing where I thought they should end up. My mom got out her ballerina Christmas tree topper that she keeps in the cabinet with her fine china and my brother in law climbed the ladder (my parents always get a really tall Christmas tree that has to be lashed to the ceiling beams) to put it at the top.

Bro in law: Here?

Me: Higher!

Bro in law: Here?

Me: Higher! It has to be higher than the mime!

My dad: Wait. Why... is there a mime on the tree?

Me: Lucky [10 year old niece] put it there. Is it really an ornament?

Lucky: It was in the box with all the decorations....

Me: But... why was it there? It's creepy.

My dad: It is sort of creepy.

My mom: It's an ornament! Everything becomes an ornament eventually. You sit still long enough, you end up on my Christmas tree.

---

I am currently making a batch of my tortilla soup. I found a variety of semi-gone-bad ingredients in my fridge so it's really not a question of IF I will get sick, but of WHICH ingredient will be the culprit. Will it be the partially-gloopy cilantro? The hard, stale tortillas? The shriveled onion? Only time will tell!

---

I realized the other day that I have a post on this site titled Balls, and a post titled Wangs. That's... a lot of innuendo for a site that rarely mentions intimate relations.

---

A movie that I surprisingly enjoyed, despite being exhausted and, er, dehydrated and the fact that I don't generally like primates? Rise of the Planet of the Apes.

---

I'm getting kicked out of my apartment sometime in the next few months. This isn't a surprise, nor is it a totally unwelcome occurrence. I've lived here for three and a half years and that was the approximate deal. I have loved living here, though. I love my apartment itself. I love that there's a courtyard with a hot tub that I can use to coax guests to come visit me. I love that I have a parking spot. I love that I never have to buy boxes because the cardboard recycling dumpster downstairs is usually full of them. This will come in handy for moving, methinks. Hopefully I will have a job before I move, but if not then maybe I'll take my sister's advice and move closer to her. I have an interview on Friday, though. Shhhh, don't jinx it.

---

The coming weeks will be satisfyingly Christmassy; full of buying toys for the tots, Christmas shopping, Holiday Tea with my mom, and Daniel's Christmas party. And I basically invited myself to see the Nutcracker with a friend of a friend. I plan to drink champagne at intermission, to help conversation flow a bit more freely and because I love champagne.
Oh, and I also went to Amber's Ugly Sweater Christmas Party last weekend.

The sweater I'm wearing is actually a sweatSHIRT. That someone intricately puff-painted and then... cut the sleeves off? For some reason?

estate sale birthday gifty

My niece, Princess's birthday is rather close to Christmas. When everyone was home for Thanksgiving she handed out her bday/xmas list:

The fact that she wrote "No Broken Bones" is appropriate because she has spent many a holiday in a cast, having broken one arm twice and the other three times. I initially thought "Lite Sprite" just meant Diet Sprite which, great! Easy! You want one case or three? But, no, actually it's a gimmickey toy with a very attractive commercial, apparently. I actually got into a rather heated discussion with my relatives about what "Password Journal" was referring to. THEY thought that it meant a journal where you keep all your passwords. *I* thought it meant a journal that you couldn't access unless you had the password. I feel like there's an obvious winner of that debate, but we never did confirm with Princess.

My favorite part of the list (aside from the fact that she hand wrote copies for everybody and laminated it with tape) is the note "[Princess] will enjoy any gift, even if it is not on the list. I LOVE YOU." Awwww. Hopefully she'll enjoy my present-- I bought it at an estate sale a couple weeks ago. I had been wanting to go to an estate sale for ages but I had a hard time finding listings for ones that were NOT full of priceless antiques or fine Victorian furniture. But then I looked on, duh, Craigslist (you just go to the 'items for sale' section and type in "estate sale" into the search bar). I was nervous to go to the estate sale, because it is at somebody's HOUSE and that makes me anxious, but it was actually fun. There were tons of other people there so I didn't feel weird about rifling through this lady's possessions. Plus, it was neat to get a feel for the person who had lived in the home and owned the things. I felt like maybe she would have been happy to know that her items were going to people who wanted and enjoyed them.

Anyhow, I bought this for my niece:

It's a little basketty purse thing, with an adorable strawberry design.

And it has a red checkered interior.

(I also got her those socks; she loves long socks.)

I'm pretty sure she'll enjoy it, even though it wasn't on the list.

Christmas Cheer

LOOK WHAT I BOUGHT TODAY!

Sorry for shouting. BUT I AM EXCITED! A Christmas tree! Of my very own!
I went to work today (I've been doing observations/data collection in a nursing home for the past couple weeks, as a nurse researcher on a short term project) and I learned that we're finishing up on Friday but they're going to pay us for an extra eight hours since we have been so awesome and efficient. And THEN I figured that if I bought a Christmas tree at the Delancey Street Foundation lot then I would be giving my money to an organization that does good work and that I like and support. So then, as I was driving home, I happened to pass by one of the lots and I impulse bought a tree!

Except that the lot wasn't on my way home and I had to leave and hit the ATM really quick because I hadn't realized that they didn't take credit cards. So I suppose it was premeditated Christmas tree buying after all.

When I got home, I manhandled the tree into my house all by me onesie, and then got out my storage bin of Christmas decorations.

I trimmed the tree.

I don't have a star yet, so the sparkly peace sign is substituting for the time being. Those bells are camel bells my parents brought from their trip to Israel last summer. The picture frame has a photo of Bowie in it. And the ballet slippers are a nod to my mom's traditional Christmas tree topper-- a ballerina.

And I set up the rest of the decorations.

Things are looking (and smelling) mighty festive around here. I'm so glad I talked myself into getting a tree. It was totally worth it.

Jewelry Suitcase

I bought this mini suitcase at the flea market a couple months ago.

For various reasons, I'm telling you about it now! Okay, I'll tell you the reasons, too: I bought it the last time KC and I went to the flea market together, and then we came home and broke up. The next day, finding something to do with my new mini suitcase was the only productive thing I accomplished and so posting about it fell by the wayside. Until now! Isn't it cute? I heart it.

I love the wavy diamond pattern and the diamond mirror.

I never really liked my old jewelry box. It was one that a friend gave me when she was cleaning out her garage. I don't have a photo of it, so you'll have to take my word for it that it was big and clunky and not pretty. But it was functional, so it actually hadn't occurred to me to replace it until I was staring around my apartment, trying to decide which place of honor to bestow upon the mini suitcase. So I emptied it out and put it in the Goodwill pile.

Then, I transferred my baubles and jewels into the suitcase...

... and now it lives atop my bookshelf!

I couldn't neatly pack ALL my jewelry into the suitcase, so I added a supplementary Pyrex dish for my fun, more durable earrings (I already owned the necklace stand). Whaddaya think?

Christmas Shopping: Antiques Faire

Yesterday I went to the Alameda Antiques Faire to do some Christmas shopping, and I also gave myself permission to buy holiday decoration items if I found any I particularly liked. I have decided not to get a Christmas tree this year, but I still want my home to look festive. Actually, one might say I'm still on the fence about whether or not to get a Christmas tree this year. It would probably be better not to since I shouldn't spend the money, I don't have anybody to help me with the hauling and weaving it through my entryway, and I will probably be spending a big chunk of time at my parents' house which will undoubtedly have a mammoth Christmas tree. I shouldn't get one. Shouldn't. But, man, it was SO GREAT having a Christmas tree last year. It made my apartment look so festive and cheery. Plus, I have a big cardboard box of Christmas gifties and a pile of toys in the corner of my living room which would certainly look less clutter-esque with a Christmas tree to tie the room together. But, no. I shouldn't.

Where was I? Oh, right. The Antiques Faire! For my mom, who loves wee dishes AND blue and white china patterns, I bought this.

It was made by Spode, if you are into dishware and that means anything to you.

I'm realizing it probably looks to be a regular sized gravy boat in the photo, but actually it is very wee!

For my two littlest nieces, I picked up an assortment of knicky knackies.

I gave one girl a Matryoshka doll for her birthday recently and she liked it a lot, so I figured the other girl might like one, too.

I'll probably keep my eye out for some more little animals.

From the $1 bin, I bought some pretty scarves.

I like to use them for wrapping gifts because, at this juncture in my life, buying wrapping paper feels like throwing money away. Plus, I find it easier to store a pile of small, foldable scarves than a tube of paper that will fall over every time I open my closet.

I managed to find a couple things for myself. Oops.

That's a wee little tray ($2), a decorative chicken hangy uppy thing ($4), and an enamel pot/jug of some sort ($25, down from $40). The woman who sold me the enamel... vessel (?) said she thought it was for pouring batter. I think it looks pretty on my stove. I'm going to hang up the chicken in the kitchen, because Kitchen Chicken is fun to say.

I also found THE BEST SKIRT IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD.

It's from the 70s, if you haven't guessed.

The woman who sold it to me made me try it on first, to prove I could fit into it. "I've had SO MANY people want to buy this skirt." I managed to wrestle it on by taking off my own skirt, pulling it over my leggings, and hefting it up to my natural waist.

Yesterday was apparently Rainbow Clothing Day, because I also scored this crocheted sweater thing.

The color came out kind of weird because it's a cell phone picture. I did my best to correct it to as close as the actual sweater colors as possible.

Yes, I'm still rockin the side braid.

I found a holiday wreath!

Do you spy that photo of my mom and me when I was tiny enough to fit in my own Christmas stocking?

I've always liked those fabric wreaths.

This wooden tree was marked $24, but as I was standing there admiring it the owner said all the Christmas stuff was half off. Score. I also bought four Christmassy cups, for holiday decoraty purposes.

On my ever-growing list of things to do I have "Get Xmas box" (that holds my ornaments and other festive decor items (I'll probably need a bigger box after this year)) from the storage cage downstairs. And maybe re-ponder the whole Christmas tree idea one more time.

WANGS

Let's play a game. It's called Be Honest with Me. The rules are very simple: I ask you a question and you have to be honest with me, okay?
Now, take a look at this photo.

Tell me, what's your first impression? Does this look like a nice girl? Does this look like a fun girl? Does this look like an interesting girl? Or DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A GIRL WHO WOULD LIKE TO KNOW THE PRECISE DIMENSIONS OF YOUR WANG?

Let me back up.

I recently joined one of those online dating sites, because I'm single now and BY GOD I'm going to MINGLE. I'm gonna mingle the hell out of this shit. I'm gonna mingle like it's 1999. Mingle.
Anyhow! I joined the site and so far it has been surprisingly positive experience. It's been a nice little bump for my self esteem, seeing the messages pour in. Most people seem relatively normal.
There are the random weirdish messages like this:

He is very sincere and single.

And this:

You're right! There is no point.

And then there are the exceptionally weird messages.
For some reason I seem to be attracting a disproportionate number of guys want to (a) see naked photos of me, (b) tell me about their tremendous wieners, or (c) both.

I exchanged a couple messages with a dude who seemed normalish, let's call him NewFriend1. He was from out of town but will soon be moving near SF, so he's looking to meet new people around here. Like I said, he SEEMED normal. Until he started instant messaging me.
He first told me a long-winded story about how he's originally from Canada, and lived in New Zealand for awhile, but he likes living in the US now because American women are way better than those in New Zealand, and would I like to know why? He was willing to talk about it, but it was kind of a personal story.
I said sure.

Yeah, he was really reluctant to divulge the 'problem' with New Zealand ladies.

NewFriend1 then proceeded to explain that he feels really self conscious about his shockingly big wiener. It has been really DIFFICULT for him because he'll get to know a girl and like her but then she'll get scared off by the BEAST IN HIS PANTS.
I tried to give him a chance to backpedal, explaining that, hey, this is the internet.

Yeah, I know I spelled accommodate wrong.

NewFriend1 explained again that he thought I was cute and he wanted to get to know me, but this has been such a problem in his life and he just had to get everything out on the table (figuratively speaking) right away, so he doesn't get hurt again. And by the way, he wondered, do I enjoy getting pounded?
Annnnd that was the end of NewFriend1.

Unfortunately, this has not been an isolated incident.
I got message from another dude, let's call him S-Wow.

I wrote back, even I was kinda on the fence, because, well, I'm a sucker for compliments. And I asked him a few questions like where he is from and what he is doing on the dating site, since his profile was pretty much bare.

He answered with this:

I would just like to point out that when S-Wow says 'more' photos, he is referring to more than what I already had on my profile-- I hadn't already SENT him photos or something. Just want that to be clear.
Anyhow, I didn't respond to that message, because I AM NOT INTERESTED IN DISCUSSING FELLATI0 WITH A STRANGER ON THE INTERNET. I feel like that should be obvious, but maybe it's a point I need to add to my guidelines.

Anyhow, I thought my interaction with S-Wow had ended, but a few days later as I was checking the site for new emails, he sent me an instant message.

I thought I made myself clear with "you're messaging the wrong lady." Apparently not.

HE ADMITTED THIS TACTIC DOESN'T ACTUALLY WORK FOR HIM.

I almost felt sorry for the dude when he said that he wanted to do something wild and crazy for the first time in his life. BUT THEN I REMEMBERED HE'S A SLEAZY INTERNET WEIRDO.

He doesn't even HAVE the biggets wang, THANKYOUVERYMUCH.

Men of the internet! Let me make myself VERY CLEAR. Unless I ask you specifically, you can assume I am NOT INTERESTED in knowing the size of you wang. Let's all get on the same page, here, FTLOG.