Saturday, December 17, 2011

I give up.

There are no good guys.
There are just no good guys left. Are there? I would like to be proven wrong here, but it is definitely starting to seem like THERE REALLY ARE NO GOOD GUYS OMG.

On my online dating profile there is a section where you are supposed to write about the first things people notice about you. I wrote: "My hair, my tattoo, my wild hand gestures, my long-winded stories. My sparkling personality? I'm not going to put the thing most people REALLY notice about me on here, but if you meet me you'll know."
I'm assuming that most of you, dear readers, know what that last sentence refers to?
Anyhow, I met up with a guy a couple weeks ago and halfway through our beers he asked me about it.

Guy: So, what's the thing that people notice about you?

Me: You can't guess?

Guy: I don't know... it's not your tattoo, right? Because you mentioned that.

Me: No, not my tattoo.

Guy: Is it your nose? Your nose is kind of weird. It's your nose, isn't it?

Me: o_O

I met another boy a few weeks ago. He seemed nice, whatever. We hung out a few times... and then I mentioned something about how I would break up with a guy if he cheated on me. And then this boy gave me a speech about how cheating isn't THAT big of a deal because everybody cheats, even good guys, and KC probably cheated on me because guys usually do and a guy wouldn't give up a relationship unless there is someone else he wants, and I just don't understand because I don't have any kids (neither does he, by the way), but when you HAVE kids you realize that you have to work things out for the sake of the family, so when someone cheats then you forgive them. *pat pat on my head*
Me: O_o

And then there was last night. I went to see the Nutcracker with my friend's boyfriend's neighbor. I don't know him very well, and neither does my friend, nor her boyfriend. But we have all hung out in group settings before and I just assumed he was, y'know, NORMAL. I did NOT think he would abandon me on the street corner in an unfamiliar area of the Tenderloin. BUT THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED.
Here's what went down: One of the times the group of us all hung out, dude said he wanted to see the Nutcracker. I offered to go with him, if he was looking for someone with whom to go. So then last weekend he texted me and said he was buying the tickets for Friday (last night). I told him that I had an interview in Dublin at 4pm and I would hopefully be back in time, and I asked how much my ticket was. He said not to worry about it.
I ended up leaving Dublin at 5:30 so it took me two full hours to get home. I changed, grabbed a taxi, and made it to the theater at intermission. Dude was standing at the stairs with a glass of champagne for me. I was feeling cranky and bummed that I had missed the first half of the show, not to mention starving since I hadn't eaten much all day (too nervous because of the interview). But I drank my champagne and started to feel better. We watched the second half of the show (which was amazing, by the way) and then afterward dude asked me if I was hungry. Yes, I definitely was. He suggested a fancyish restaurant. I said we could just go to Mel's because I was really craving a grilled cheese sandwich. He said okay and we started to walk. After a block or so he said he really wanted to go to the fancy place. I said that was fine, let's go. So we walked... and walked and walked. We got to the restaurant and it was packed. So dude said we would go somewhere else and we started walking again. The following is a transcription of our conversation as we walked.

Him: I went to a new bar in my neighborhood called [something about a goat, I can't remember the name]. I just thought that was the stupidest name, ever. Like, why would you open a new bar and name it that?

Me: Because it's funny? I dunno. I think it sounds funny. Goats are funny.

Him: There's this other bar, I think it's near Eleventh and Folsom-

Me [laughing]: Is it the Holy Cow?

Him: Ugh. No. I hate that place.

Me: Whaaat? You can't hate that place! It's a dive club!

Him: People dance on tables there. I tend to avoid places like that.

Me: Oh.

We walk for awhile in silence.

Me [noticing that we are passing restaurants left and right]: Um. Where are we going?

Him: Well, if you want to go to any of these places we can, but I want to find this one.... [looking at phone].

Me: Okay.

We keep walking.

Him: Oh, here it is. Right up there.

Another block.

Me: Um. Where is this place?

Him: What? Are you getting annoyed?

Me: Well, no. But I mean, I don't want to walk forever. Where is this place?

Him: Right up there [gestures vaguely ahead].

More walking. (And let me explain here-- I don't usually MIND walking. I enjoy it, even. But tonight I was wearing fancy boots and a fancy outfit and I also just kind of wanted to pick a place and get some damn food.)

Me: Sooo, um, IS it right up there?

Him: Yeah.

Me [laughing]: Okay! Well NOW I'm annoyed!

Him: You know what? [stops walking, turns to face me, gives me a fake smile, grabs my hand, and shakes it].

Me: Wha?

Him: I'm just getting a really bad vibe from you.

Me: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean-

Him: I was really happy.

Me: And I'm bringing you down? I'm sorry, I just-

Him: [turns and walks away]

Me: [look around, realize I'm in an unfamiliar section of the Tenderloin and I don't know how to get out]

Me: O_O

I give up. There are no good guys.