Wednesday, June 22, 2011

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood

It really is beautiful today. But I'm CRANKY.

Allow me to explain. What's that? You didn't ask? Well TOO BAD. This is ALL I HAVE FOR YOU TODAY.


My apartment building is situated very near... well, let's just say it's near a collection of very popular, trendy restaurants. These restaurants tend to be pretty happening sometimes and there can be large crowds of people around. It makes me very glad that I have a parking space in my building's garage because otherwise I would be spending a lot more time cursing and hollering than I already do. There are several parking garages near my street so the area around my building tends to get rather congested with both pedestrian and automobile traffic. And leaving or coming back to my neighborhood at certain times of the day or having people over can be a little tricky. Basically the situation is kind of annoying but, whatever, it's fine.

About a year ago the city repainted my street so that the two lanes became one lane plus a bike lane. That was kind of annoying but, whatever, it's fine.

About six months ago the building down the street started a large construction project. That was kind of annoying but, whatever, it's fine.

About a week ago I received a notice that a mobile food company has applied for a permit to park a food truck right outside my building. And that will be kind of ann OH HELL NO, MOTHASUCKAS.

When I look out my window I see traffic and confusion and pedestrians jaywalking across a busy street and bicycles zooming between cars and cones blocking off parts of the sidewalk and big construction vehicles taking up parking spaces and parts of the street. My garage entrance often gets partially or completely blocked and oh oh guess what? The food truck wants to park right next to my garage entrance! Because who cares about the people trying to see if cars or bicycles are whizzing by when they are turning onto the street? {Sarcastic Jazz Hands}

Apparently there is going to be a hearing at the courthouse about the food truck. I will probably go and I think it will be hard to voice my concerns as anything but "I'm sorry, but how could you even THINK about adding another element to this clusterfuck? COME ON."

Really, if all of those other variables weren't already in place I would probably welcome the food truck (or at least, not feel such firey rage against it). Obviously if I could have PICKED I would have chosen a food truck over months and months of dusty, loud construction. But I didn't get to pick and those other things already exist so, I'm sorry Mr. Food Truck but my displaced anger is getting saddled squarely onto your shoulders. I don't care if you are delicious, YOU HAVE BAD TIMING.*

*I think I may have just found my new catchphrase.