Pregnancy purchases

While I was pregnant, I looked up various lists and asked for advice about what essential things I would need while pregnant/after giving birth. There are a few items that stand out to me as the VERY BEST ones, so I thought I'd write them down.

1. Body Pillow- In July I was about 6 months pregnant and starting to feel rather large and unwieldily. It was at that point, in fact, that I got my first "You're about the pop!" comment. Haaaa. No, sir. I have 3 months of this left. Anyhow, in July Niall asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I said a body pillow. He got me this one, which I LOVE. It's like a very long, very nice regular pillow (not one of those funky shaped specifically-for-pregnancy pillows). It's memory foam with some sort of cooling technology built in which was nice for always-boiling pregnant Jules (a stark contrast from always-freezing non-pregnant Jules). I really REALLY liked this body pillow. I would wrap my arms and legs around it and I found that it provided a good amount of frontal support, which I needed more than backal support. I don't like to cuddle with a person in bed, but BY GOD I will spoon the hell out of this pillow all night long and make it breakfast in the morning.

2. Shower Chair- This was a late in the game purchase. Or, end of the game purchase. Last day of the... game... purchase, if you will. That is to say, we bought the shower chair the day I ended up going to the hospital (not the day Clover was BORN (thanks to my excessively long labor), but the last day I was home before I came home with a baby). So I was very VERY uncomfortable at that point. Anytime somebody asked me how I was feeling I always said "big and tired." I was so big and so tired. SO BIG AND TIRED. Everything at that point in pregnancy was uncomfortable and exhausting. I couldn't get comfortable lying down or sitting. I couldn't enjoy eating because everything gave me reflux. I couldn't enjoy a bath because I was too big for the tub to immerse the majority of my body in water, plus there was all the HOISTING in and out I had to do. The only things I really enjoyed were milkshakes and going to the gym. And, to be clear, by "going to the gym" I mean spending 15 mins on the cross trainer and then sitting in the hot tub. As a bonus I got to visually offend everyone around me by being an enormous angry pregnant woman in a bikini. I did get some sick pleasure out of the horrified glances I got for daring to be that pregnant and out in public. So I guess there were three things I enjoyed- milkshakes, going the gym, and scowling at everyone around me. Where was I? Right, the shower chair! I was so big and tired that taking a shower was exhausting, so I decided that I wanted a shower chair. There are fancier and nicer ones out there, but I got the regular old utility one. And it's GREAT. It's sturdy and it fits in my standard sized bathtub/shower combo. I liked it the one time I used it whilst I was pregnant, and it was ALSO good for those several weeks after giving birth when sitting down to shower was a good idea. And now it is very helpful for shaving my legs.

3. Slippers- Another item I requested for my birthday was a nice pair of slippers. Specifically, these (in purple). I actually saved those nice slippers for home use. I brought an old pair to the hospital and wore them while I walked the halls during my seemingly endless labor. They were hot pink with stars on them and actually attracted a lot of attention, so that was kind of fun. If I ever find myself in the position of planning for a hospitalization again, I will probably buy some cheapie, flamboyant slippers for this exact purpose. The pink starred ones ended up um. There was some blood dripped on them so I threw them out instead of bringing them home.

4. Momwasher- Speaking of things that have to do with blood and general grossness after having a baby, let's talk about the Momwasher! It was one of my impulse Amazon purchases that I spent gift card money on. Listen, I know it's not that much different from the squirt bottle thing they give you in the hospital, but I found the Momwasher's angle to be appreciably nicer. And when we're talking about raw, painful sensitive bits I think we can agree that even small improvements can make a significant difference.

5. Exercise Bike- WAIT! Hear me out. My husband is someone who wants to work out just about every day and I love him in spite of this. Shortly after Clover was born, Niall came up with the idea that maybe we should buy an exercise bike to have at home so that he could get his work out in while not simultaneously abandoning me with our newborn. We ended up getting this one. It folds up and stores easily in the closet. And sometimes Niall rides it while holding Clover, which is just about the cutest thing. One of these days I'll probably use it too, but riding a bicycle is literally the last thing I wanted to do after having a baby.

6. Recliner- Now this is more my speed. I decided that I wanted to get a nice, comfortable recliner for nursing the baby and probably sleeping in whilst he was very wee. I came up with a whole list of reasons and went to present them to Niall. "I think we should get a recliner," I started. "GREAT!" He said, evidently not needing to hear my very well thought out list of reasons. And that was that. We bought a recliner and it's everything I dreamed it could be.

7. Yoga ball- Or exercise ball or birth ball or whatever you call it. This was given to me by my friend D and it made a nice addition to our assortment of places for Jules to sit while pregnant. Due to the aforementioned big and tiredness, trying a variety positions/activities was a necessity. The ball D got me has sand or something inside of it which prevents it from rolling the hell away when you go to sit down on it. The closest thing I can find on Amazon is this. We still have the ball in our living room even though I'm not pregnant anymore. We like to use it for sitting or bouncing the baby or just generally cluttering up the floorspace.

Rain Rain That's Okay

When I first moved to San Francisco I was NOT PLEASED with the weather. I had just come from LA, where the rainy season is approximately two hours and it could be 75 degrees in the middle of January. I wore flip flops all year round!
No I didn't.
Why? Because I was USED TO IT. I got used to the hot LA weather and became a giant weenie. (One might argue that I was always a weenie but to them I point out that my sister and I used to regularly go surfing in the dead of winter. We would go several days in a row so we'd be pulling on wet, sandy wetsuits. Also, our system for deciding if it was time to stop and go home was whether or not we could still hold our hands together with straight fingers. Because if we couldn't control our fingers then we couldn't get the key out of whoever's wetsuit it was in and unlock the car. See? Not always a weenie).
So when I first moved to SF I would be standing there waiting for the bus, shivering even though I was wearing all of my jackets. Gradually I learned the art of layering so the cold, foggy weather didn't bother me quite so much. Basically, I submit this paragraph as evidence that I would never survive if I lived somewhere with SNOW.
Where was I? Right. The cold weather was okay but what I couldn't STAND was the rain. The raaaaaaaiiiinnn. I didn't own rain boots when I first moved here so I would wear sneakers which would (surprise) get soaking wet. For two years I had wet shoesies and pant cuffs and socks. I didn't buy rain boots because I was too indecisive. I thought maybe I would like to get some of those rubber galoshes with some cute pattern like they sell. But I could never make up my mind of which ones to get and I thought about buying neutral colored boots but, ugh, that's just boring isn't it?

Until this year. I bought THESE:

They're from Timberland and oh oh oh I love them. I don't know if the photos do them justice and maybe I'm just overly excited because of my two-year wet feet interval but oh man do I love them. If you ever hang out with me when I wear them you'll notice that I tend to announce at random intervals "BY THE WAY HAVE I MENTIONED HOW MUCH I LOVE THESE BOOTS?" Yes, in all caps.

Seriously, they make me so happy. I wear them every time it rains or looks like it might rain or I want to wear stretch pants.

Now I just need a new raincoat. Because I, erm, prematurely sold mine to a used clothing store before I  bought a new one.... Apparently I'm not meant to own an entire set of rainy day attire at the same time.

Hair

This is a mildly too-long post about my hair. I'm easing back into things. DEAL.
My hair is naturally wavy. That means that sometimes it can look really, really great with zero effort-- all tousled and pretty and bouncy. Like the other day when I was home with nowhere to go and nothing to do but to WRITE A PAPER. Of course that was the day my hair chose to look like this:

Sigh.
But OFTEN my hair goes frizzy or poofy or kinked in odd places (depending on what position it was in when it dried).

Flat ironing my hair is pretty much my go-to-- it is the only thing I know how to do that GUARANTEES that my hair will look good. And it doesn't take forever because, well, I already know how to to it. I usually wash my hair only a couple times a week. If I flat iron it, my hair will stay niceish looking until it is time to wash it again.

My flat iron broke a couple weeks ago. It was this one:

Photo from Overstock.com

and here, I'll link to it, in case you're interested in purchasing a flat iron that craps out on you after less than a year. It just stopped working-- I plugged it in one day and the light didn't come on and the panel thingies didn't get hot. I fiddled around for awhile but sadly it couldn't be fixed by messing with the buttons and resetting the outlet and swearing.
I was extra irritated about my flat iron dying because I had actually dithered and searched for quite some time before I decided on that snazzy pink piece of garbage.

I faked it for a couple weeks (by blow drying and/or wrangling my hair into a ponytail) as I searched on Overstock and Amazon and hunted on Google for "best flat iron ever." I finally settled on this one:

Photo from Folica.com

from here. I picked it because it was the top rated flat iron with over 4,000 reviews. I figured that was pretty good odds that it wouldn't completely suck. I've used it a few times and I REALLY like it. It leaves my hair smooth and shiny and, most importantly, STRAIGHT. I wasn't planning to use it today because I don't really need to have Fancy Hair if I'm just staying home in my jammies working on a(nother) paper. But then I figured that everybody likes a nice visual aid, right? So here we have my freshly flat-ironed hair:

See? Straight and shiny with an angelic glow.

My main issues with flat irons are that they either snag my hair or don't grasp enough of my hair or they cause me to shriek with rage "WHY AREN'T YOU GETTING HOT ENOUGH?!" But this one, the Sedu, hasn't done any of that. It gets nice and hot and glides right through my hair with its ceramic/tourmaline plates and ions and magic and whatnot.
So, if you're in the market for a flat iron and you're looking to probably spend too much but you feel like it might be worth it because you don't really know what else to do with your hair then I recommend this one. And oh, wouldja look at that? It's on sale now! And it comes with a little pouch for storage and travel (mine did come with the pouch. It is kind of... less helpfully shaped (? by that I mean it has a pouch for the flat iron itself and then this foldy over flap that encases the cord) than I would have expected but I've gotten used to it).

Shall we turn back time for a moment and take a look at some of the hairdos that I used to fancy?

This was one I used to do a lot-- the old 'cut all your hair off and severely regret it later.' Every couple of years I would tell myself "HEY! I bet my hair would look cute short! And I would use less shampoo and conditioner and styling it would be a breeze!" And then I would cut it all off and severely regret it later. I think I have broken the cycle but if you see me start to talk about how my hair might look better short I'm asking you to please SAVE ME FROM MYSELF.

Ah yes, the twirlies. I used to do my hair like this for all the football games. And, apparently, for the beach. Please take a moment to appreciate my shorts.

Last but not least, the cheerleader top knot! Once I learned to do this I wore it all the time and I bought lots of different colored ribbons. Maybe I should bring this one back. I won't look quite as adorable, though, since I don't have those uneven self-cut bangs anymore or the sun-kissed skin of somebody who didn't wear enough sunscreen.

UPR Diesel

Okay so I don't actually OWN anything by Diesel because their clothes always seemed too douchey and expensive for my taste. But now! Now I extra don't want to ever own anything by Diesel because look at their latest ad campaign:

Be stupid.
That's it.
That's their whole idea.
I'm not sure what angle they are trying for: A ridiculous gimmick that makes you laugh and therefore buy the clothes? Like those "Make 7... UP Yours" tee shirts? Or are they trying to be all deep like oooh people think they're so smart but you've gotta get out there and try new things and make impulsive decisions and LIVE, dammit...? Or am I supposed to take their words at face value-- stupid people wear Diesel?

I'm not sure what they are TRYING to say to me, the potential customer. But here are the messages I am getting:

Our customers are morons!

Our customers are culturally insensitive! And crazy!

Our customers are likely to have dead hookers under their beds!

Our customers are pervy exhibitionist photobombers who don't care about nature!

Our customers are douchey layabout rich assholes with way too much time on their hands!

I don't know if one could possibly conceive of an ad campaign that would appeal to me LESS. Congratulations, Diesel.

UPR Simply Shabby Chic Cozy Blanket

I think I went to Target and stood in the aisle fondling this blanket probably three separate times before I pulled the trigger and bought it. I was a little hesitant because of the price. After all, fifty bucks is a lot to spend on anything, particularly a blanket you're not quite sure you need. But I justified it thusly: I use my bed every night and I am always cold. I have Raynaud's Syndrome-- I need a warm blankie. It's medical science!

Anyhow, after I bought it I was not disappointed. This blanket is ah-may-ZING. The name doesn't lie, it is cozy. Warm and snuggly and fuzzy and cuddly. And it fits in my washing machine so I don't have to feel guilty about never washing it take it to the cleaner's.

And this cat of mine cannot get enough of it. Even when he's wired and going crazy running around, if I pick him up and put him on the bed he will instantly become calm and start kneading it. Then he'll usually lay down and fall asleep.

So, to sum up: This blanket is a tad on the pricey side but it is very soft and warm and has MAGICAL POWERS OF CAT HYPNOSIS.

UPR Hoover Windtunnel Rewind

I had no idea how much a vacuum could revolutionize my life. Wow. See, when I first moved into this apartment I bought some janky little wee vacuum for under $30. For awhile I thought it was fine because it made noise like a vacuum and I had to empty it of dust and dirt and whatnot. But recently I decided to buy a new one because I had been noticing several things:

1. I hate sweeping. I HATE YOU, SWEEPING. And your bastard cousin, dusting.
2. Even after I used my little vacuum there seemed to still be hair and junk on the rug.
3. I had been using the little vacuum less and less because it doesn't satisfyingly clean up. Which meant I could either have less tidy floors or be forced to SWEEP. So I usually just had grosser floors.

I went to Target yesterday with the knowledge that I was willing to spend somewhere up to around $150 for A BIG SUCKER. So I picked out the Hoover Windtunnel Rewind because it seemed to fit all my requirements and was on sale for $99. And then I brought it home and vacuumed the 3/4 of the rug. And then, uh, had to empty the canister because, ick, it was already at the MAX level. And then I vacuumed the whole rug again and the rest of the apartment.

My only complaint so far is that when you empty the canister of yuck, it doesn't make a satisfying "click!" when you attach it back on to let you know it's in the right spot. I would like to feel CONFIDENT that my vacuum isn't going to start spewing dust everywhere when I turn it on. But. Other than that, I love this vacuum. It is a big, big sucker. It was so satisfying that I meant to just test it out but ended up happily vacuuming my whole apartment. And I don't like to vacuum (or SWEEP. Go to hell, sweeping). So I think that I'm much more likely to actually vacuum now. Plus the floors are appreciably cleaner than they were with my other methods. So. Take that, sweeping.

UPR Google Voice

I started using Google Voice about about two months ago. I got it because I was interested in the text message feature. That is, when somebody leaves me a message, instead of having to call my voicemail I receive a transcription of the voicemail via text message on my phone. I can also listen to the voicemail on my computer. So far it has been really handy-- there are some situations wherein it would be impolite to hold a phone to my ear and there are some instances when I just don't have the TIME to slog through a bunch of messages to get to the one that I've been waiting for. Sure, the transcription doesn't always come out perfect but I don't get a lot of Highly Important messages, so that's rarely a big issue.

Except for when it is. When I'm waiting on crucial information, that's when I need Google Voice to step up its game and MEET MY TRANSCRIBING NEEDS. When I'm sitting in class, nervously yet oh-so-discreetly waiting on a call, THIS is not what I need:

Hey Julia, Bingley Arms embargo 3. Alright so I think I would like to have a good day. I'm going to be there. Anyway, I'm gonna be in 503. I will. Me, Hey Julie, Model, 30, and for aubertie Sylvester I can go by there and see if I can. I couldn't work and yeah i can ask for gonzo. So yeah out for a period Film Fest and when I read 503 and I'll just I'll talk to her and if they're not in session. The hobbled by the out box and work and see if I just forgot to call me and if that's the case, but I'll pick it up and if not then I'll just give them a call tomorrow and see what sort of, so I'll give you an update today when I leave. Or else, and I'll let you know one way or another. Okay thanks bye.

UPR Flip & Tumble Produce Bags

And now for something on the lighter side!

What is UPR, you ask? Why that's the official Jules vs. Nuts acronym for an Unsolicited Product Review! Something that I have decided to provide on the occasion that it strikes my fancy! Because the world needs more of my opinions, am I right?

So! I'll be kicking things off with Flip & Tumble Produce bags. Oh, Flip & Tumble. I've dedicated not one but TWO posts to declaring my love for their reusable shopping bags (or "24-7 shopping bag" as they call it) so when I wrote that sad whiny post about not being able to afford Blogher, Miss Grace suggested that I actually approach Flip & Tumble (which I will hereafter be referring to as F&T because yeesh I think I'm going to say their name a lot in this post and I'm tired of typing it out) for some kind of sponsorship.

Well I emailed them and they weren't keen on the idea but instead of saying PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HOW DARE YOU EVEN ASK they gave me the equivalent of a placating pat on the head and offered to send me a set of their produce bags.

See there they are, artfully posed with the rest of my mail. I would show you a photo of them in use but, uh, I don't have one. Oh, actually here's one yoinked from the F&T web site.

Handy, aren't they?
Uh, I guess.
Except that I've had them for a month and have yet to use them.

Here's why:
Okay, so I love their regular shopping bags because I can smoosh them into balls and throw them into my purse or car or wherever and then I'll HAVE them on me when I need one. With the produce bags I've been keeping them in a drawer in my kitchen and I tend to forget to bring them when I go to the grocery store and they don't squish nicely into a compact form for me to toss into my purse and forget about. I was thinking that I should suggest that F&T come up with a way to make them more cutely portable but then browsing around their web site I found this.

Oh. So I could just smoosh them both together. Touché F&T.

But my other inherent problem with the produce bags is that I actually do NEED a few plastic bags in my life. I have a cat. And he has a litter box. And I have to scoop it. So I tend to use the few plastic bags I collect here and there for that purpose. So until someone is able to come up with a better solution for me I'm going to grab one or two produce bags from the grocery store.

This means that I would be happy to use these produce bags for some other purpose. Something I love about the F&T shopping bags is that they are so versitile. I use them for groceries, for clothes shopping, for a beach tote, an extra bag whenever I need one. I even wrapped some of my Christmas presents in them!

Seriously.

So I guess what I'm saying is that while I applaud the concept behind the produce bags, they just don't boast the same level of ease and usefulness as their larger shopping bag brothers.

The F&T web site tries to convince you that the produce bags have other uses besides produce-- store your travel toiletries! your shoes! other odds and ends! But I keep coming back to the fact that these are MESH bags. Sooo why would I store my potentially leaky travel toiletries in something that would not contain the mess? I actually bought some little bags that I thought I would use for produce from Daiso at around the same time I bought my first F&T bags.

And I actually have found several many uses for them such as toting my lunches (because they contain them AND they are made of cloth so they absorb any spills pretty well) carrying fragilish things (no mesh areas to get tangled), washing more delicate items, etc.

So Flip & Tumble, you've already done it once-- you convinced me that your shopping bags were far superior to plastic or paper bags and that your cute and versatile shopping bags were the specific reusable shopping bags for me. You're going to need to work a little harder to get me on board with your produce bags.

So, to sum up my ridiculously long-winded unsolicited review of this product in one word: Meh.