A Few Snippets from Christmas

I've been at my parents' house for the past few days, celebrating Christmas through the enjoyment of delicious foods and my mom's famous gingerbread cookies. A few recent occurrences:

I knew that one of my nieces was going to receive an American Girl Just Like You doll so I got her an adorable little salon chair from Target. They only show the purple one in the picture but the one I got was a really pretty bright blue and just happened to be just over 20 bucks and the perfect size for an American Girl doll. However. I found out on Christmas Eve that FIVE of my nieces were going to get American Girl dolls from Santa. It was too late for me to rush to Target in search of more chairs and in any case it is unlikely that there would have been four more. So they have since all been fighting over who gets to do her doll's hair in the one chair. Yay.

I picked up a sore throat from somewhere in LA and it has evolved to a stuffy nose and finally to a semi fake sounding hacking cough and feeling of generalized drowsy elation. Codeine cough syrup has helped but today I got antibiotics.

I went over to Jenny's house yesterday to visit with her for a bit and give gifts to her and Gabey. One of her parents' friends came to visit and, after being introduced she said "You girls better wash your hands after touching mine." That's it. No qualifiers. No "because I'm just getting over the flu" or "the dog might have been running through poison oak." So I was left to wonder WHY??? And then Jenny gave me chocolate cake and I went home for more gingerbread men.

Still in existence

Well I've been a bit absent online recently, but that's only because I've been enjoying my vacation to the max.... hanging out with friends and family, participating in leisure activities, Christmas shopping, and spending quality time with my man. I'm sure I'll have much more procrastination-in-front-of-the-computer time as soon as school is back in session on January 5 but for now I'm freeeeeeee!

More self personality deconstruction

I have this friend, and when she is put in awkward social situations she often turns into this outgoing, super friendly and interested version of herself. Most people tend to respond positively and want to talk to her and be around her. I tend to want to beat her with a wooden spoon, but she's probably onto something. Because I evidently lack basic social skills. When put in awkward social situations I want to escape. And since I am catagorically incapable of expressing any feeling other than the one I am experiencing, I tend to stare around the room with a horrified look in my eyes. Observing other people's social patterns without contributing one of my own. Or else I will silently judge people for their poor choices (how's that for the pot calling the kettle socially inept??).

I'm not outgoing enough to strike up effortless conversations with people and I'm not self confident enough to just stay quiet without feeling awkward. I went by myself to the wedding of a childhood friend and I spent the whole time wishing I had just sent a gift. And it didn't help that everyone with whom I struck up a conversation-- her father-in-law, her grandmother, the caterer-- would eventually pat me jovially on the shoulder and suggest that I might like to go mingle with some of the nice people my own age. And hit the dance floor with them! Didn't I like to dance!?

The other day I was at the mall and I wandered into the Sketecher's store. I realized too late, when I was already inside, that I was the only customer in the store. This probably doesn't bother, oh, anyone like it bothers me. But I guess I feel obligated to make an effort to look around if I'm the only one there, even though I've ruled out all the shoes when I walked through the door on the basis that I'm incredibly picky. I feel the same way when I am one of the few people to show up at a crappy poetry reading or show of some kind-- I want to leave but I feel like since I'm there I have to stay because it would be much more obvious if I left.

"Hi," said the nice salesman standing by the door.

"Hi" I mumbled, instead of fishing my cell phone out of my pocket and pretending to answer it as I left the store.

The salesman very nicely asked if I was looking for anything in particular and told me that the store was offering some buy one get one half off type deals. And I listened. And then I looked around. And then a woman with long black hair and a Macy's bag walked through the door and I grabbed her roughly by the shoulders and said THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE. But actually I just walked out toward my freedom, represented in this case by a soft pretzel.

Prop 8: The Musical

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

A Thanksgiving Tale

The sun it did shine, it was a beautiful day

so we went for a drive out along the bay

We drove and we drove, my parents and me

And my aunt and uncle and their other guests, three

The kids visiting from France, my aunt's relatives

got to see just how we Americans live....

With the trees and the breeze and the blue blue sky,

we watched as the butterflies played oh so high.

We watched for awhile but grew tired and parched.

"Time to go" said my dad, back to the cars we all marched.

But on the way home, my sis called in alarm--

it turned out her daughter had broken her arm.

She'd been bouncing and playing and having such fun,

but now she'd need surgery, so my dad had to run

to the hospital ER, to come to their aid.

So he left the house while arrangements were made.

Without Dad or my sister, Mom and I made the best.

We served lunch and entertained our guests.

Then Mom said "it is time to throw all this away.

Crab doesn't keep, not for a third day."

"No, wait!" I cried out. "Not the yummy crab meat!

I will finish it all. I will sit here and eat."

So I ate and I ate. And it was quite a good trick.

(Though I admit afterwards I felt a tiny bit sick.)

We turned on the football, asked our guests to sit.

My mom cooked the turkey, I helped out a bit.

I mashed the potatoes, I mixed up the veggies.

(My mother and I were just a tiny bit edgy.)

"The turkey is ready!" said Mom. "So is the rest.

But wait. Where on earth are all of our guests?"

I turned and I looked-- it was true, they weren't there.

Not on the family room sofa or chair.

Not in the bathroom or bedroom; not in the hall

They were not anywhere to be found-- not at all!

And then something went bump!

How that bump made us jump!

We looked! Then we saw them step in through the door.

We looked! And we saw them! There were Things galore.

Thing One and Thing Two, what a strange sight to see.

And another Thing One, Thing Two, and Thing Three!

These Things in the house eating turkey and pie;
These Things in the house playing games, drinking wine.

These Things in the house when my father was out;

These Things in the house with no children about....

Our Thanksgiving plans had gone a bit awry,

but we had quite a time, the Things, Mom, and I.

Then my sister and family came in late at night.

She said, "How was the dinner? Did it all go all right?"

And really, I did not know what to say.

How could I begin to explain our day?

Would I tell her about it? Now what would I do?

Well... what would you do if your sister asked you?

Happy Thanksgiving!