Men of the world! I realize that navigating the world of dating can be tricky. There are certain things that I had formerly thought were obvious, but it appears that they are not. So here I am, clarifying a few things, in case you happen to find yourself interested in dating me.
1. If you are enjoying the pleasure of my company, then, by all means, let me know. If you are no longer enjoying my company then, similarly, do let me know. Because that whole 'be mean to her until she doesn't want to see me again' thing you guys do? Sucks. And it doesn't work on me. I WILL NOT take your hints. I tend to take people at their word-- if you TELL me something, I will go by this, even if you are acting the opposite way.
2. If you are divorced, in a relationship, or married, please make this clear upon meeting me. Even if you are separated I would rather know up front.
3. If you have a child or children, please make this clear upon meeting me. If there is a lady out there who is currently pregnant with your child, THAT COUNTS.
4. Please don't proposition me for sex, out of the blue, via text message. And especially don't PERSIST after I say no. That's just creepy. You can't talk me into wanting to sleep with you. I either want to, or I don't.
5. Don't lie. DON'T LIE, MOTHERFUCKER. Don't tell me lies. Don't lie through omission. Don't say what I want to hear because you think the truth will upset me. Just. Don't. Lie.
6. Please don't play games. I dislike games and I'm no good at them. If you say you're going to call me, call me. If you say you like me, don't act weird and aloof. Just be straightforward with me and I'll do the same for you.
Was that helpful? I do hope so. Please keep in mind these handy tips when wooing the lady of your choice, and particularly when considering dating me. Thank you for your kind attention.
Kisses,
Jules
Showing posts with label making the world a better place. Show all posts
Showing posts with label making the world a better place. Show all posts
Friday, November 18, 2011
Friday, January 8, 2010
Eff you, 2009.
I know it's a leeetle belated to start talking about the New Year, but bear with me okay? I'm still metaphorically unpacking here at my new site.
So. 2009. I want to kick that year down a frickin flight of stairs.
Seriously, what the hell, 2009? Why did you have to act like such a douche? Why did SO MANY people I know have to have such a crappy year? And me? Not wonderful. 2009 is definitely not going in my archives as one of the greatest. Toward the end there, the sheer volume of ridiculously awful things that happened became almost laughable. So I was CERTAINLY ready to wave (with one finger) 2009 out the door.
And here are my resoultions for 2010:
(hmm I tried to cheat a little on this and look up my 2009 resoultions and I didn't post any! Darn.)
1. I will be true to myself in relationships.
I will not allow someone else's opinions to sway my beliefs. I mean, I know that compromise is important, but not on my fundamental desires. Like, I'm not going to date some guy who doesn't want kids and think to myself "oh well I'll be able to convince him later. And maybe I'm not even sure I want kids, it's hard enough to take care of myself...." No. We disagree on my dealbreakers? You're out. And I'm also not going to stay with someone just because I've invested time and energy into the relationship already or because I feel obligated toward that person. My happiness and life goals first, this time. You heard it here.
2. I will accept that the best I can do is enough.
This past quarter I felt pretty down. I had to turn in many of my assignments late and ask for help on things I could normally do on my own. Sometimes I had to put my personal life before school and sometimes I even had to take a mental health day away from work and school and everything and just do nothing but zen my apartment all day. And when I had to turn in assignments late or ask for extensions, I would feel pretty lousy. Like, what was wrong with me? I had time to go out with friends but I couldn't turn in a damn paper on time?
But something a friend of mine said stuck with me. He was actually talking about how one of our classmates had made up some big stupid excuse for being late one day and how she should just have been straight with our preceptor and said something like "I couldn't make it in on time, I'm doing the best that I can."
That sentence struck me, because YES. I am doing the best that I can. I used to equate doing my best as BEING the best-- getting good grades, never missing class, never being late for work, not asking for help, etc. But last quarter doing MY best meant something different, and that was okay too. So I need to learn to give myself a break.
3. I will get (and stay) organized.
My organization projects have been fun and the book's method seems to really be working! I would like to have my whole apartment (and life) zenned before the end of the year. Hopefully sooner.
4. I will go on adventures.
In 2009 I didn't really go a whole lot of places except down to LA and back up here again. Well, except VEGAS. And Vegas was a blast, so that pretty much proves my point-- I want more adventures. Because while I enjoy staying home and hanging out in the City by the Bay, it is also nice to get a change of pace. I'm thinking specifically: something with snowboarding, something with camping, something with beaches, and something with blogging. I bought new suitcases, I must use them!
5. I will continue on this good-for-me-good-for-the-planet kick I'm currently on.
I think I get disproportionately happy when my box of farm fresh fruits and veggies arrives at my door, and I am LOVING the milk in glass bottles. So, thank you, Bay Area, for instigating this trend because I'm pretty jazzed to continue it.
6. I will be happy, in the present. I do consider myself a happy person and I am never bored. Even when I'm home alone, I am perfectly content to do some laundry, take a bath, and read. But when I look at 2009 I realize that I spent a lot of time focusing on the future-- my life will be great when THIS or THAT happens. No. My life is currently great. And I need to appreciate it and make my present as wonderful as my future might be. Because, well, the present is happening NOW.
Those are my resolutions. I'm going to try and remember to do a mid-year check in to see how I'm doing. But so far 2010 FTW!
So. 2009. I want to kick that year down a frickin flight of stairs.
Seriously, what the hell, 2009? Why did you have to act like such a douche? Why did SO MANY people I know have to have such a crappy year? And me? Not wonderful. 2009 is definitely not going in my archives as one of the greatest. Toward the end there, the sheer volume of ridiculously awful things that happened became almost laughable. So I was CERTAINLY ready to wave (with one finger) 2009 out the door.
And here are my resoultions for 2010:
(hmm I tried to cheat a little on this and look up my 2009 resoultions and I didn't post any! Darn.)
1. I will be true to myself in relationships.
I will not allow someone else's opinions to sway my beliefs. I mean, I know that compromise is important, but not on my fundamental desires. Like, I'm not going to date some guy who doesn't want kids and think to myself "oh well I'll be able to convince him later. And maybe I'm not even sure I want kids, it's hard enough to take care of myself...." No. We disagree on my dealbreakers? You're out. And I'm also not going to stay with someone just because I've invested time and energy into the relationship already or because I feel obligated toward that person. My happiness and life goals first, this time. You heard it here.
2. I will accept that the best I can do is enough.
This past quarter I felt pretty down. I had to turn in many of my assignments late and ask for help on things I could normally do on my own. Sometimes I had to put my personal life before school and sometimes I even had to take a mental health day away from work and school and everything and just do nothing but zen my apartment all day. And when I had to turn in assignments late or ask for extensions, I would feel pretty lousy. Like, what was wrong with me? I had time to go out with friends but I couldn't turn in a damn paper on time?
But something a friend of mine said stuck with me. He was actually talking about how one of our classmates had made up some big stupid excuse for being late one day and how she should just have been straight with our preceptor and said something like "I couldn't make it in on time, I'm doing the best that I can."
That sentence struck me, because YES. I am doing the best that I can. I used to equate doing my best as BEING the best-- getting good grades, never missing class, never being late for work, not asking for help, etc. But last quarter doing MY best meant something different, and that was okay too. So I need to learn to give myself a break.
3. I will get (and stay) organized.
My organization projects have been fun and the book's method seems to really be working! I would like to have my whole apartment (and life) zenned before the end of the year. Hopefully sooner.
4. I will go on adventures.
In 2009 I didn't really go a whole lot of places except down to LA and back up here again. Well, except VEGAS. And Vegas was a blast, so that pretty much proves my point-- I want more adventures. Because while I enjoy staying home and hanging out in the City by the Bay, it is also nice to get a change of pace. I'm thinking specifically: something with snowboarding, something with camping, something with beaches, and something with blogging. I bought new suitcases, I must use them!
5. I will continue on this good-for-me-good-for-the-planet kick I'm currently on.
I think I get disproportionately happy when my box of farm fresh fruits and veggies arrives at my door, and I am LOVING the milk in glass bottles. So, thank you, Bay Area, for instigating this trend because I'm pretty jazzed to continue it.
6. I will be happy, in the present. I do consider myself a happy person and I am never bored. Even when I'm home alone, I am perfectly content to do some laundry, take a bath, and read. But when I look at 2009 I realize that I spent a lot of time focusing on the future-- my life will be great when THIS or THAT happens. No. My life is currently great. And I need to appreciate it and make my present as wonderful as my future might be. Because, well, the present is happening NOW.
Those are my resolutions. I'm going to try and remember to do a mid-year check in to see how I'm doing. But so far 2010 FTW!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Earth Day Resolutions
After reading Miss Grace's post, I remembered that today is Earth Day. I do care about our lovely little planet, so here are some things I resolve to start doing:
1. Actually use my reusable shopping bags. I'll buy a couple more so I can leave them in my car, my purse, and my backpack so they will be more handy.
2. Get one of those folding cart things for shopping (hopefully one that is kind of hip and cute and not too dowdy). This, I believe, will help me accomplish goals 3 and 4.
3. Walk to the grocery store. It is embarrassingly close and yet I drive there far more often than I should because it's quicker and easier, especially if I want to buy a lot of heavyish stuff. But once I have my little cart, I'll have no excuse.
4. Use the library, not the bookstore. The bookstore is closer, but the library is right across the street from the grocery store so maybe I'll be inspired to go there while I'm out shopping.
5. Turn off excess lights. Sometimes I feel lonely in my apartment so I keep more lights on than I should. But I'll stop. Maybe I'll try to make it fun by lighting nice-smelling candles in the house instead. That's okay, right? Candles make less pollution than leaving lights on?
6. Make hippie cleaning stuff out of baking soda and vinegar and lemon juice and whatnot. I'll use up my Seventh Generation stuff and just mix the new stuff in those bottles.
7. Buy more local and organic food. I've starting doing this recently, but sometimes the prices scare me away. But I know it's better for the economy, the environment, my health, karma, etc.
I think now is a good time to mention the things that I already do, just to give myself a little pat on the back for doing them. And also to resolve to continue to do them:
1. Actually use my reusable shopping bags. I'll buy a couple more so I can leave them in my car, my purse, and my backpack so they will be more handy.
2. Get one of those folding cart things for shopping (hopefully one that is kind of hip and cute and not too dowdy). This, I believe, will help me accomplish goals 3 and 4.
3. Walk to the grocery store. It is embarrassingly close and yet I drive there far more often than I should because it's quicker and easier, especially if I want to buy a lot of heavyish stuff. But once I have my little cart, I'll have no excuse.
4. Use the library, not the bookstore. The bookstore is closer, but the library is right across the street from the grocery store so maybe I'll be inspired to go there while I'm out shopping.
5. Turn off excess lights. Sometimes I feel lonely in my apartment so I keep more lights on than I should. But I'll stop. Maybe I'll try to make it fun by lighting nice-smelling candles in the house instead. That's okay, right? Candles make less pollution than leaving lights on?
6. Make hippie cleaning stuff out of baking soda and vinegar and lemon juice and whatnot. I'll use up my Seventh Generation stuff and just mix the new stuff in those bottles.
7. Buy more local and organic food. I've starting doing this recently, but sometimes the prices scare me away. But I know it's better for the economy, the environment, my health, karma, etc.
I think now is a good time to mention the things that I already do, just to give myself a little pat on the back for doing them. And also to resolve to continue to do them:
- Drink tap water
- Use cloth napkins and cleaning rags instead of paper towels and napkins
- Bring water in my reusable bottle
- Bring tea in my ceramic travel cup
- Reuse plastic bags (for kitty litter scooping, lunches, etc)
- Reuse paper bags (to hold recyclables)
- Bring my lunches to school a couple times a week (I can't bear to bring lunch on clinical days. It's just too much to handle) and make dinner at home most nights
- Shop at thrift and used clothing stores
- Use public transportation
- Give a monthly donation to Greenpeace
- Appreciate natural beauty
- Think positive thoughts
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Tattoodle Remoodle
The title of this post is funny because it's a play on the word "removal" but "moodle" is the online network where my classmates and I have to download readings and post assignments. Get it!? Ha! Ha ... oh nevermind.
Anyhow, this morning at 6 my alarm went off and I was still on the fence about doing extra clinical hours ON A SATURDAY. But I felt awake-ish and okay-ish about it and not stressed out, so I decided to haul my tired body out of its cozy cocoon of a bed and drive out to Oakland. I would not normally behave so overachieverly, but I did it for two reasons: 1. I was actually really interested in finding out more about the program and what they did in the clinic and 2. I wanted the extra hours now so that at the end of the quarter when I'm in finals and swamped and overwhelmed or I just need a mental health day, I can be all "hey remember those extra hours I did back in April...? Bye!!"
The program is interesting. It's a monthly tattoo removal clinic that is meant to encourage kids make changes in their lives. The doctors volunteer their time and people (mostly ages 13-25) can come in and get their tattoos removed for free. I was sort of expecting to see a lot of former gang members getting their gang tattoos removed or white power dudes getting swastikas removed and whatnot, but they were mostly regular looking tattoos and many of them were not on highly visible areas. There was one guy who got his neck and face lasered, but that was really the only one that fell into the category of "what I had been expecting." The rest just seemed to be tattoos that the owners had begun to regret over time: Tattoos that had been done at home. Images that no longer held meaning for the person. Names of previous lovers.
I spent most of the morning applying lidocaine cream to people's skin before they got their tattoos lasered and then helping them tape ice packs to their bodies afterwards. I also got to observe the lasering process, which was very cool. And also, horrifying. Because you can't see the laser beam but you can see the skin change color and smell the hair burning as the person flinches in pain. Apparently the old laser they used to use had a visible beam that would actually break the skin and it would blister and bleed. YOWCH.
I had thought the point of the program was to remove tattoos that would hinder one's progress in the professional and social world. But from what I saw, the program was really about self esteem and support. While not a simple process, tattoo removal isn't overwhelming in its spectrum. That is, it's not like the people who run the program promise that they are going to find these kids jobs or anything. But the people working at the clinic provide a service for free. And they are nonjudgemental and consistent which, for some troubled kids goes a loooong way. And, in a philosophical sense a tattoo removal is a physical change, which might inspire other, less tangible changes in attitude or ambition. Apparently a lot of the kids who have participated in the program have gone on to do some pretty great stuff in their lives.
After all the tattoos had been zapped, I came home and fell into bed around noon and had what I might be so bold to describe as the BEST NAP EVER. I feel good about going to the clinic this morning. I got me some extra hours and had a fun and interesting experience. I just really hope that I'm never on the recieving end of that laser.....
Anyhow, this morning at 6 my alarm went off and I was still on the fence about doing extra clinical hours ON A SATURDAY. But I felt awake-ish and okay-ish about it and not stressed out, so I decided to haul my tired body out of its cozy cocoon of a bed and drive out to Oakland. I would not normally behave so overachieverly, but I did it for two reasons: 1. I was actually really interested in finding out more about the program and what they did in the clinic and 2. I wanted the extra hours now so that at the end of the quarter when I'm in finals and swamped and overwhelmed or I just need a mental health day, I can be all "hey remember those extra hours I did back in April...? Bye!!"
The program is interesting. It's a monthly tattoo removal clinic that is meant to encourage kids make changes in their lives. The doctors volunteer their time and people (mostly ages 13-25) can come in and get their tattoos removed for free. I was sort of expecting to see a lot of former gang members getting their gang tattoos removed or white power dudes getting swastikas removed and whatnot, but they were mostly regular looking tattoos and many of them were not on highly visible areas. There was one guy who got his neck and face lasered, but that was really the only one that fell into the category of "what I had been expecting." The rest just seemed to be tattoos that the owners had begun to regret over time: Tattoos that had been done at home. Images that no longer held meaning for the person. Names of previous lovers.
I spent most of the morning applying lidocaine cream to people's skin before they got their tattoos lasered and then helping them tape ice packs to their bodies afterwards. I also got to observe the lasering process, which was very cool. And also, horrifying. Because you can't see the laser beam but you can see the skin change color and smell the hair burning as the person flinches in pain. Apparently the old laser they used to use had a visible beam that would actually break the skin and it would blister and bleed. YOWCH.
I had thought the point of the program was to remove tattoos that would hinder one's progress in the professional and social world. But from what I saw, the program was really about self esteem and support. While not a simple process, tattoo removal isn't overwhelming in its spectrum. That is, it's not like the people who run the program promise that they are going to find these kids jobs or anything. But the people working at the clinic provide a service for free. And they are nonjudgemental and consistent which, for some troubled kids goes a loooong way. And, in a philosophical sense a tattoo removal is a physical change, which might inspire other, less tangible changes in attitude or ambition. Apparently a lot of the kids who have participated in the program have gone on to do some pretty great stuff in their lives.
After all the tattoos had been zapped, I came home and fell into bed around noon and had what I might be so bold to describe as the BEST NAP EVER. I feel good about going to the clinic this morning. I got me some extra hours and had a fun and interesting experience. I just really hope that I'm never on the recieving end of that laser.....
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Obamanation
Today is quite historic. All I really have to say is YAY! Though we are supposed to remain "politically neutral" at school, there is definitely a new energy in the air, a collective smile. Yes. We can.
Here's to you Mr. Prez. Please make these next 4 years count.
Here's to you Mr. Prez. Please make these next 4 years count.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Monday, November 3, 2008
I speak in code to confuse my content crawler.
I was doing some online perusing and I noticed on Miss Grace's blog that she has an es-yay on numero ocho advertisement. I was mildly horrified but I thought maybe her content crawler had gotten befuddled since she did write a post about how she feels about that particular proposition.
But then I clicked over to my own blog and there it was!! An ad urging the inhabitants of this fair state to say yay to establishment and keep wedlock betwixt one human with a wang and one human with a vajayjay.
Horror of horrors!
It's okay with me when ads crop up on my page that don't really encompass my beliefs-- such as the depression ones that appeared when I wrote about my quarterlife crisis and the "find tattoed singles" ads that came about after I posted about my tats. But this is something that clearly has nothing at all to do with anything I have written recently, if at all. My recent posts have all been about Halloween, being crazy, cooking-ish, and how much my life exhausts me. NOWHERE did I speak out about my aditional-tray eleifs-bay regarding the of legal union of two homo sapiens of different genital organs.
I don't feel personally wronged when two persons of the same reproductive makeup come together, profess their love for one another, share a household and a life, and have some rights and privledges that go along with it.
I feel wronged by hypocracy, judgementalness, and the wasting of millions of dollars to fight something that does not cause harm. Shame on you, google and blogspot for allowing those ads to be placed on pages, regardless of the content of the blog.
Get the eff out there and ote-vay!
But then I clicked over to my own blog and there it was!! An ad urging the inhabitants of this fair state to say yay to establishment and keep wedlock betwixt one human with a wang and one human with a vajayjay.
Horror of horrors!
It's okay with me when ads crop up on my page that don't really encompass my beliefs-- such as the depression ones that appeared when I wrote about my quarterlife crisis and the "find tattoed singles" ads that came about after I posted about my tats. But this is something that clearly has nothing at all to do with anything I have written recently, if at all. My recent posts have all been about Halloween, being crazy, cooking-ish, and how much my life exhausts me. NOWHERE did I speak out about my aditional-tray eleifs-bay regarding the of legal union of two homo sapiens of different genital organs.
I don't feel personally wronged when two persons of the same reproductive makeup come together, profess their love for one another, share a household and a life, and have some rights and privledges that go along with it.
I feel wronged by hypocracy, judgementalness, and the wasting of millions of dollars to fight something that does not cause harm. Shame on you, google and blogspot for allowing those ads to be placed on pages, regardless of the content of the blog.
Get the eff out there and ote-vay!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
There are NO CUTE GUYS in Santa Cruz
Jenny and I have long been of the understanding that there are NO CUTE GUYS in Santa Cruz. If you think there are, you haven't been outside the county and you are wrong. There are no cute guys in Santa Cruz. There are beautiful girls. Plenty of them. And there are okay looking guys. And there are cuteish guys. And there are guys who surf. And since there are plenty of beautiful girls and a staggering lack of cute guys, these okay guys and cuteish guys and guys who surf have a disproportionate number of beauties vying for their attention. If there is a cute guy, you can guarantee he is either at the center of a circle of girls or being shielded from them by his girlfriend. And maybe it's a relative thing, too, because there are lots of different kinds of cute-- nerdy cute, funky cute, interesting cute, wonderful personality cute.... I think maybe one of the reasons I stand by the assessment that there are NO CUTE GUYS in Santa Cruz is that so many of them are such jerks. Since they are constantly getting hit on by pretty ladies, they seem to develop these "hotter than thou" personalities. Which is really obnoxious because, well, they're not.
I was at a party a few years ago and I tapped a boy on the shoulder because he was wearing a tee shirt that had the name of a beer from Fiji. I had been to Fiji a few months before and I was curious to know if he had been there too. He answered my questions in a polite, yet over-the-top uninterested way. His mouth was saying "I was there on a surf trip" but his eyes were saying I'm soooo not stoked about you, regular-looking girl. I'm out of your league! I'm gonna get me some pussy tonight from one of these gorgeous girls! They will hit on me! Because I surf!!
Hey, asshole, I'm not interested in you either. I was really just trying to be polite and not spend the party glaring around the room and thinking this town really has no cute guys. Yes. That includes you. That is the only reason girls hit on you-- you are mediocre looking and you surf and you are surrounded by other mediocre guys and gorgeous, gorgeous girls. Regular girls like me don't stand a chance. The odds are devastatingly in your favor, you tool.
Anyhow, I just wanted to make sure that we are clear on the fact that there are no cute guys in Santa Cruz before I tell this story. I'm not sure if I can do it justice. You have to imagine that Miss Grace is high on cold medicine and is basically telling the following story as if it were one long, continuous sentence:
"So I was at work a couple weeks ago and I was sitting on the bench outside eating lunch and we saw this guy ride by on his bike and I turned to my coworker and I was like "that was kind of a fuckable guy wasn't he?" And then I riding the bus to work a few days later and this guy got on the bus and I don't really remember what the other guy looked like but I think it's pretty statistically unlikely that there's more than one cute guy in town so I think it might have been the same guy but I hit him in the face with my purse. And he had a bike with him. And THEN a couple days ago this guy came into work who I think might have been the same guy that I hit in the face with my purse and he had his pant leg rolled up like he had been riding on a bike so I think it's the same guy but I'm not sure but he's really cute and I think he might be. A cute guy in Santa Cruz! I don't know what to do!"
A cute guy in Santa Cruz! Or, possibly, three! Someone out there is doing their part to positively influence the demographics. Want to do yours? Here's what you do: Step 1. Leave the county. Step 2. Find a nice, handsome man and bring him back to Santa Cruz. Step 3. Have his nice, handsome, boy babies. Make Santa Cruz better for future generations of regular girls. Trust me, they deserve it.
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