Blogher10: In No Particular Order

The vodka is gone. So is the jerky.

Taking the red-eye has its pros and cons. Pros include having the entire day to dither and run errands and pack before you head to the airport. Cons include half-assed beverage service on the plane and passing out on the NYC Hilton lobby couch because your room isn't ready but you can't keep your eyes open anymore.

I am so glad I bought gold flats before I left-- I wore them to all the cocktail parties. Except the one where I wore my sliver shoes (to match my sliver jewelry).

Yes, I have oddly long toes.

The evenings were a blur of cocktail parties, dancing, nummy snackies, random jaunts to nearby bars, ending up in someone's hotel room (or bathroom) for an afterpartyish type thing, and finally falling facedown into bed in the wee hours of the morn.

All the Single Ladies....

 Bibliosaurus attack!

At the Irish Pub, up very late.

Past our bedtime.

Gots ta get her sugar.

Oh I MADE IT COUNT.

I met, uh, A LOT of people. A lot of awesome, fabulous people who were made up of more than just their avatar photos, strangely enough! I don't know really how to describe it properly but it's like this: You get an IDEA of people based on their photos and what they write and who their (internet) friends are. But then you meet them and it was like OMG YOU'RE ACTUALLY A REAL PERSON! At least, that's what it was like for me. Real people! ACTUAL, REAL PEOPLE. It was... surreal.
 
Jenny(Grace) explained to Jenny the Bloggess that she didn't get any drink tickets because she didn't RSVP to any parties. Jenny was rightfully outraged. Because WTF?

I only had a pass for the Expo hall an cocktail parties. I might have liked to go to a session or two but I very much enjoyed having plenty of time to relax, wander around the city, and see the sights.

I went to the Museum of Natural History on Saturday. Apparently me going to a museum on my own = crazy obsession over animal horns and the twistiness thereof.

And also whether or not the female of the species was behorned.

Where are all the recycle bins in NYC? Seriously, where are they? Also, I'm sorry Blogher, but providing compostable coffee cups doesn't make the conference any "greener" unless you actually compost them.

Most of the people I was introduced to (or introduced myself to) were wonderfully gracious and lovely. But a FEW would just smile and say "nice to meet you" and then I would have to say "And you are....?" Most times it seemed like people just forgot to introduce themselves so that's totally fine, but SOMETIMES I got the distinct impression that someone wasn't introducing him/herself because I was just supposed to know who s/he was. Which, COME ON.

I made an entire meal out of freebies from the Expo hall. A sandwich from Hillshire farms, Baby Bell cheeses. A cupcake from Pillsbury.

I also got into a long and in-depth conversation with the Hillshire farms lady about my ZEN ORGANIZING. I was very! excited! to! share!

One of my favorite moments was the packing/snarking party I had with Jenny and Leah.

My room was the best. My roomies were the best. Look how adorbs!

We clean up nice.

We had another roomie, too. But it seemed like every time I came into the room she was just leaving or had just left or vice versa. Or I was sleeping in and she was getting up early to actually participate in the conference.

Hanging out with Lora was totally bittersweet. Sweet because she is about five hundred times better in person than she seems on her blog and she's already pretty funny, interesting, cool, nutty, and thought-provoking on her blog. And bitter because DAMMIT LORA why don't you live nextdoor to me?!

Jenny and I make good travel buddies because we both have no problem running for the plane if it means we can eat Panda Express at 10 am. Also because we share a similar hatred of everyone at the airport. Also because we both think taking a photo on the plane after 4 days of partying and staying up late and subsisting on snackies and booze is a good idea.

We were trying really hard to smile pretty for the camera. Photo from Jenny.

In case it wasn't already clear, I had a really good time. A really, really good time. And next year is apparently in San Diego. See you there?

Blogher10: Bassackwards

Oh, man. I don't quite know how to talk about Blogher. I sorta can't believe it's already over. It was such a whirlwind of fun, excitement, anxiety, laughter, and snark. But let me start over and begin at the most logical place-- the end.

And by the end, I mean my ass.

Saturday night was the Sparklecorn party! Could there have possibly been a party that was more right up my alley? I think not. Because sparkles and unicorns just happen to be two of my very favorite things. Seriously. SPARKLES AND UNICORNS!

So, I wore a sparkly dress and a unicorn.

With Jenny

See how sparkly? And unicorny?

With Lora

It was this sparkly dress that inspired Jenny to introduce me to people backwards.

And I mean that LITERALLY. She would ask "Have you met my friend Julia's ass?" and then turn me sideways to introduce it.

Photo from Califmom

Some people suspected that it wasn't real and that maybe I was wearing a booty pop or something. Which means that a lot of lovely ladies groped my tush at that party. Lucky me!

Of course, then there was the conversation I had with Miss Britt's hubby. It was after the party and a group of us were standing outside the hotel lobby. He told me to be careful when I was out there because I might be mistaken for one of the hookers. "They look really nice, though! I mean, they're dressed really nice," he said. "I'm just saying, you look good."

Good like a high-class hooker?

Blogher: Ready to Go!

Well, almost. Sorta.

Ish.

Here's what I've packed so far:

But those are pretty much the necessities and everything else is negotiable.

I'm a little nervous which might because of one or all of the following:
(a) I need to decide what clothes to bring and pack them, paint my toenails, load up my ipod, charge my electronics, print my rsvps for everything, check in, and fill my snack bag for the plane.
(b) I have to drop off my car with my friend who will be babysitting it.
(c) Social anxiety: full tilt.
(d) I had a crazy dream last night wherein I was waiting for the dentist because I had an appointment to have all of my teeth, which were painful and throbbing, REMOVED. And this dentist was big. In SIZE, I mean. A giant, of sorts.

Uh. Anyhow. Blogher! I will be there with bells on. Come say hi to me, won't you? I'll be the one anxiously wringing her hands and gnawing on beef jerky. Hmm. Did I just describe half the people in attendance?

Wimper

Alternate title: Pimping Myself Out

Oh man. Today kind of sucks. I'm not going to talk about why here but it has something to do with this  and me feeling rather frustrated and powerless. And I have a headache. And I've been incapable of doing anything but holing up in my apartment in a sea of anguish all day.

But anyhow, if you follow me on Twitter perhaps you noticed yesterday's wimpering? Basically, I was waiting to buy my Blogher conference ticket until I was certain that I was going, which meant waiting until I had a hotel/roomie situation set up. So after that was settled I went to the web site and tried to buy my conference pass and GAH! The student rate was SOLD OUT.
This wouldn't matter so much if there was, like, a $50 price difference and I'd just grumble a little and fork over the extra money. But no the difference is OVER TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS. Whu? Bu? WIMPER. I could have afforded $75, but I can't throw three hundred bones at this conference, I CAN'T. But I'm still going to New York that weekend because, guess what? I already paid for my hotel reservation!

Wimper. Mope. Sulk.

So. I've decided to go all Tacky McTackerson and add a "Donate" button over thattaway -> on the sidebar. So if you're looking for a good cause to throw a couple bucks at, ugh. Wait. Okay, if you're looking for a GOOD CAUSE, go here or here or here or here. BUT if you're looking to maybe help a wee fledgeling blogger get her tush out to Blogher then clickitty click that lil button on the left, won't you? Alternatively, if someone wants to painstakingly explain to me how to get a sponsorship whateveryacallit (Hey! Flip & Tumble! Regina Leeds! You guys owe me.) I'm all ears. Alternatively, if someone wants to convince Blogher to shell out just ONE more measly little student rate pass (since they didn't respond to my Twitter cries for help), I'd be forever grateful and, like, send you a care package of magical rainbows.

Wimper.

I swear we didn't plan it.

But look how adorable and coordinated Miss Grace and I were at the Blogher Christmas Party! (Yes, the very same party where I learned about the unfortunate blog name confusion).

Our shoes were cute, too. You'll just have to take my word on this.

If I were going to BlogHer,

I would bring these earrings.


And probably that dress that I'm wearing in the pic, too. I'm kicking myself for not getting a photo of it but how about this? Just imagine me in a long flattering, swishy dress that shows off my tattoo and can be dressed up or down, looking not unlike Aphrodite. And then when tipsy fabulous bloggers told me it was nice, I would say something like "Oh this old thing? It was $14 at Ross and I tried it on over my clothes!" because I can't just accept a compliment without being awkward.

But, alas, I will not be going to BlogHer this year. Last year, Miss Grace took me with her (told me what to wear, paid for my ticket, the works) in exchange for staying in my apartment and drinking PBR in the hot tub. I was wide-eyed about the whole thing and tended to freeze up when people asked me what my blog was about (my "blog" that I had started writing the previous month). We did have a fabulous time, though.

This year, they had the nerve to move it all the way to Chicago which is rather less convenient and more expensive. So instead of schmoozing and !!!!ing and cornering my favorite bloggers to recite my favorite things they have written, I'll be here. Jealous of you.