More evidence of my royal blood.

When it comes to shoes, I am a little like the Princess and the Pea. If a shoe is ever so slightly uncomfortable, does not have adequate support for my lovely high arches, cuts at any part of my feet, has too loose or too tight straps, slips off my heels, or pinches my toes you can bet your boots (ha!) that my delicate little feet will notice. And then take them off. I might be wearing these


but from the way I am whimpering, you might think I was wearing these


or these


or these.


Which basically means that I'm insanely picky about the shoes that I buy (but then aren't we all?) and I might not actually even wear shoes that I own if I decide they aren't comfortable enough. I have a pair of strappy heels that I bought for my junior prom and to this day I still wear them since they are the most comfortable "going out" shoes I own. They used to be a sparkly silver color but now they're more of a muted gray, with stains from the multitude of drinks that have spilled on them and scuffed, nearly nonexistent heels from the miles and miles that they have carried me. Usually, I will coordinate my outfit with some other, newer, cuter pair of shoes and then, when the cab is downstairs and everybody is traipsing out the door, I will run back to my room and grab the old shoes.

So is anybody surprised to learn that I've been wearing the same pair of casual sneakers pretty much every single day for the past, oh, four years?

In my mind, they still look something like this.


However, my mother informed me that they actually look more like this.



And so I have been looking for new shoes for awhile now. But I believe I have noted my picky nature toward footwear in general and casual shoes are no exception-- they have to be cute, obviously, but also exceedingly comfortable for me to want to wear them on a daily basis. I define comfort thusly: PRECISELY the right size being neither slightly too big nor too small, able to be worn with socks, free from "quirks" (such as having the tongue thingy constantly bunch over to one side or the other like my Pumas), having adequate laces or other fastening devices as well as arch support, and giving me that indefineable sensation of Rightness on my footsies.

And today my mom bought me these.


And I love them! They are comfy and adorable and twinkly and purple and even cuter than the picture shows and did I mention comfy?? So yay!

And now since I'm feeling rather superficial and ridiculous with my "oh poor me, I have so many shoes I just don't know what to do with myself!" here is a web site about a sneaker recycling program. And one about donating shoes to people who don't have any.

Not that you'll need it

Okay. So. I've been back at school for a little over a week. Back to the grind of classes, study time, and clinicals. And it's been tough but, really, not so bad. I think that Med-Surg was supposed to be one of the hardest quarters and I survived it and now everything looks to be going at a more gentle pace. I'm sure it will still be tough, but it's kind of nice to know that I'm over halfway done with the RN portion so technically things are in the downhill trajectory, if this program were some sort of mountain, that is.

I've been thinking of the applicants for next year's class who will be coming for their interviews within the next couple of weeks. I can't believe it was a whole year ago that I spent several instances sitting across the desk from someone, enthusiastically expressing why I wanted to be a nurse practitioner and what my strengths and weaknesses were and how I thought my previous experiences had shaped me and why I was just the best of the best of the most amazing and PICK ME PICK ME DAMMIT!! Looking back, I really REALLY had no idea what I was getting myself into. I think that's true of any school program-- you can't know how it will be until you are in it-- but it just makes me grateful that even though I didn't completely understand what it would be like or how I would handle it or even what it truly meant to be a nurse, some quality in me or thing that I said shone through and let the admissiony people know that I meant business. Or something.

And I've realized that I really do like this program. It was a good choice for me and that makes me happy to know. Since I applied to several other schools, I spent a lot of time last year agonizing over which place would be the best fit. In the end, it really came down to my school and Yale. And I was really on the fence until the last possible moment I could have turned in my intent to register forms. Yale had a really great program and a lot of things I was looking for but I decided not to go there based on location, cost, and several specific characteristics about the program with which I won't bore you.... So now it's nice to look back and realize that I'm still happy with my decision and this is the right place for me. It's also kind of nice to be able to say "I'm so glad I didn't go to Yale."

So now I'm here. And I'm glad. Sooo to all you little interviewees... good luck!!!

milk & cookies

Tomorrow is day 1 of peds clinicals. I'm pretty nervous because it's the new quarter, I'll be at a new hospital with a new clinical instructor and working with little wee ones for the first time. I love kiddies but I've never really had this kind of role around them so I don't really know what to expect there AND we're going to be able to give out meds which is rather nervewracking.

So tonight I am preparing by eating some milk and cookies because (a) it's delicious and relaxing and (b) it's helping me get into kiddiewinkle mode, or at least that's what I'm telling myself. I don't know what happened but something in my taste buds changed over Christmas break. I used to be the kind of person who didn't crave sweets. Ever. I would choose a bowl of mashed potatoes over ice cream every time. And if I felt like maybe I wanted something sweet like a donut, just smelling it would usually satiate me. But over break that changed and I don't know why. All I wanted to eat were cookies. Chocolate chip cookies, M&M cookies from the mall, and most especially my mom's gingerbread cookies. Cookies. They were so incredible. Little bites of happiness. Where had they been all my life?? Cookies! I'd been thinking maybe it was just a "holiday" thing; like maybe I was craving sweets because it was Christmas. But nope. I'm back at school and it's still the case. COOKIES!!!!! So if you'll excuse me, I've got an ass that's not gonna fatten itself.

Gah!

The year is new and my break is juuuuust about over! I can't believe it. Approximately six weeks went by in naught but the blink of an eye. And am I totally prepared for school to start tomorrow?? Well.... I ordered my books yesterday so that's a start. And I went to this fantastic Japanese variety store called Daiso and bought some new little lunch boxes and notebooks. And chopsticks. Because I totally needed those. And an apron. Because the real reason I don't cook very much is that I didn't have an adorable apron to wear but now that I do I totally will. Yeah.
And now to continue my mad panic for this week. I wonder if I will remember how to be a nurse?

A Few Snippets from Christmas

I've been at my parents' house for the past few days, celebrating Christmas through the enjoyment of delicious foods and my mom's famous gingerbread cookies. A few recent occurrences:

I knew that one of my nieces was going to receive an American Girl Just Like You doll so I got her an adorable little salon chair from Target. They only show the purple one in the picture but the one I got was a really pretty bright blue and just happened to be just over 20 bucks and the perfect size for an American Girl doll. However. I found out on Christmas Eve that FIVE of my nieces were going to get American Girl dolls from Santa. It was too late for me to rush to Target in search of more chairs and in any case it is unlikely that there would have been four more. So they have since all been fighting over who gets to do her doll's hair in the one chair. Yay.

I picked up a sore throat from somewhere in LA and it has evolved to a stuffy nose and finally to a semi fake sounding hacking cough and feeling of generalized drowsy elation. Codeine cough syrup has helped but today I got antibiotics.

I went over to Jenny's house yesterday to visit with her for a bit and give gifts to her and Gabey. One of her parents' friends came to visit and, after being introduced she said "You girls better wash your hands after touching mine." That's it. No qualifiers. No "because I'm just getting over the flu" or "the dog might have been running through poison oak." So I was left to wonder WHY??? And then Jenny gave me chocolate cake and I went home for more gingerbread men.

Still in existence

Well I've been a bit absent online recently, but that's only because I've been enjoying my vacation to the max.... hanging out with friends and family, participating in leisure activities, Christmas shopping, and spending quality time with my man. I'm sure I'll have much more procrastination-in-front-of-the-computer time as soon as school is back in session on January 5 but for now I'm freeeeeeee!

More self personality deconstruction

I have this friend, and when she is put in awkward social situations she often turns into this outgoing, super friendly and interested version of herself. Most people tend to respond positively and want to talk to her and be around her. I tend to want to beat her with a wooden spoon, but she's probably onto something. Because I evidently lack basic social skills. When put in awkward social situations I want to escape. And since I am catagorically incapable of expressing any feeling other than the one I am experiencing, I tend to stare around the room with a horrified look in my eyes. Observing other people's social patterns without contributing one of my own. Or else I will silently judge people for their poor choices (how's that for the pot calling the kettle socially inept??).

I'm not outgoing enough to strike up effortless conversations with people and I'm not self confident enough to just stay quiet without feeling awkward. I went by myself to the wedding of a childhood friend and I spent the whole time wishing I had just sent a gift. And it didn't help that everyone with whom I struck up a conversation-- her father-in-law, her grandmother, the caterer-- would eventually pat me jovially on the shoulder and suggest that I might like to go mingle with some of the nice people my own age. And hit the dance floor with them! Didn't I like to dance!?

The other day I was at the mall and I wandered into the Sketecher's store. I realized too late, when I was already inside, that I was the only customer in the store. This probably doesn't bother, oh, anyone like it bothers me. But I guess I feel obligated to make an effort to look around if I'm the only one there, even though I've ruled out all the shoes when I walked through the door on the basis that I'm incredibly picky. I feel the same way when I am one of the few people to show up at a crappy poetry reading or show of some kind-- I want to leave but I feel like since I'm there I have to stay because it would be much more obvious if I left.

"Hi," said the nice salesman standing by the door.

"Hi" I mumbled, instead of fishing my cell phone out of my pocket and pretending to answer it as I left the store.

The salesman very nicely asked if I was looking for anything in particular and told me that the store was offering some buy one get one half off type deals. And I listened. And then I looked around. And then a woman with long black hair and a Macy's bag walked through the door and I grabbed her roughly by the shoulders and said THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE. But actually I just walked out toward my freedom, represented in this case by a soft pretzel.

Prop 8: The Musical

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

A Thanksgiving Tale

The sun it did shine, it was a beautiful day

so we went for a drive out along the bay

We drove and we drove, my parents and me

And my aunt and uncle and their other guests, three

The kids visiting from France, my aunt's relatives

got to see just how we Americans live....

With the trees and the breeze and the blue blue sky,

we watched as the butterflies played oh so high.

We watched for awhile but grew tired and parched.

"Time to go" said my dad, back to the cars we all marched.

But on the way home, my sis called in alarm--

it turned out her daughter had broken her arm.

She'd been bouncing and playing and having such fun,

but now she'd need surgery, so my dad had to run

to the hospital ER, to come to their aid.

So he left the house while arrangements were made.

Without Dad or my sister, Mom and I made the best.

We served lunch and entertained our guests.

Then Mom said "it is time to throw all this away.

Crab doesn't keep, not for a third day."

"No, wait!" I cried out. "Not the yummy crab meat!

I will finish it all. I will sit here and eat."

So I ate and I ate. And it was quite a good trick.

(Though I admit afterwards I felt a tiny bit sick.)

We turned on the football, asked our guests to sit.

My mom cooked the turkey, I helped out a bit.

I mashed the potatoes, I mixed up the veggies.

(My mother and I were just a tiny bit edgy.)

"The turkey is ready!" said Mom. "So is the rest.

But wait. Where on earth are all of our guests?"

I turned and I looked-- it was true, they weren't there.

Not on the family room sofa or chair.

Not in the bathroom or bedroom; not in the hall

They were not anywhere to be found-- not at all!

And then something went bump!

How that bump made us jump!

We looked! Then we saw them step in through the door.

We looked! And we saw them! There were Things galore.

Thing One and Thing Two, what a strange sight to see.

And another Thing One, Thing Two, and Thing Three!

These Things in the house eating turkey and pie;
These Things in the house playing games, drinking wine.

These Things in the house when my father was out;

These Things in the house with no children about....

Our Thanksgiving plans had gone a bit awry,

but we had quite a time, the Things, Mom, and I.

Then my sister and family came in late at night.

She said, "How was the dinner? Did it all go all right?"

And really, I did not know what to say.

How could I begin to explain our day?

Would I tell her about it? Now what would I do?

Well... what would you do if your sister asked you?

Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm back, baby.

Here I am in SoCal again. People keep asking how long I'm planning to stay and my fairly consistent response has been till they kick me out. "They" referring to the general population of LA, I suppose?

Happy Thanksgiving!

My sister just called to say that my niece broke her arm on the trampoline at her in-laws house. My mom's response? "I guess they're not allowed to try and go somewhere else for Thanksgiving; they just have to come here." No, seriously, we're all concerned about the little one and hopefully she will be okay. Dad's gone to meet them at the hospital and until then I'm here with my mom and aunt and uncle and guests, feeling that familiar awkwardness that goes along with my inability to make small talk. We are also eating crab so that our stomachs are nicely stretched out for tonight.

Twilight on the Big Screen

Because everyone was talking about how amazing it is and because my classes rendered me incapable of reading anything for pleasure that would require more than 12% of my brain to stay focused and because I tend to take pleasure in the vampire romance as a book genre, I read Twilight. I thoroughly enjoyed the book. I was enraptured while I was reading it and I had positive things to say about it. But after I finished it, I started teasing out little pet peeves that existed in the book and mentioning them in a kind of halfhearted, nitpicky way. I would mention little things without being able to name exactly what bugged me about the book. Fortunately, when she came to visit, Jenny was able to put into words exactly what I had felt "When you're reading the book" she said as we walked through the streets of San Francisco trying to find a bar that might serve the likes of us "you're totally into it. Because she's a captivating writer. But then you get to the end of it and you put the book down and you're like 'What the fuck??'"

Exactly. Yes. That was exactly how I felt. I was thoroughly entertained by the book while I was reading it because it made me feel like something really exciting and titillating was just around the corner, just on the next page, just keep reading and you will get to it! But that book is SUCH A TEASE. All suspense, hardly any release. All semi-soft making out, no gettin its freak on. I'm not saying it wasn't exciting, but, well, not a lot actually happens in that book. In the final 45 pages or so there is some real action but other than that the characters devote a freakishly large of their time to talking about their feelings.

So when we were walking out of the theater and my sis said "That was it?? Noting happened!" I came back with "I told you, it's a MAGIC BOOK." Nothing really happens in the book, so ta-da, nothing really happens in the movie. I thought that a lot of good decisions were made-- like tweaking the plot so there was an actual story arc. And removing whole sections of dialogue but keeping enough to make the hardcore fans happy. And making Jacob Black a-freakin-dorable (in a totally harmless way, I swear. I KNOW he's only 16. Sigh).

And even though it had many ridiculous moments (at one point my sis leaned over to me and asked, "are Edwards lips getting redder and redder between frames? Are his cheekbones getting more pronounced??") actually, I could possibly be talked in to going to see that movie again. Because I'm a sucker for the slow-motioney bits and the intense stares and the uniquely beautiful people and the music buildup. I'm totally the person who gets hoodwinked in to buying something because it comes in a pretty package or because the salesperson flatters me into it. I can be quite the airhead consumer. And I also know that the Hollywood gloss won't be quite as shiny on the small screen so I'll need to see it in the theater if I ever want to see it again. Which I guess I kinda do.... Damn it.

Vacation: Week 1

So I am officially into the first week of my glorious glorious winter break that is glorious. Here's a little update on how I've been spending my time:

Eating delicious foods prepared by my mother or paid for by my sister.

Going to movies-- Bond, Twilight, Bolt.

Child-wrangling.

Sitting on my ass.

Hm. I guess that's pretty much it.

I had been planning to decompress in my SF apartment for a few days and enjoy the beginning of my break without going anywheres, but my sis called me up and shamed me in to coming to my parents' house. This has worked out splendidly as it allows me a legitimate excuse to not really do anything-- "I'm spending some time with my family."

It feels a little like drinking chocolate syrup and benadryl

Freedom.

Finished my last Med-Surg clinical and thus my second quarter of nursing school on Friday. Have been suspended in a blissful cloud of glitter and rose petals ever since.

I love everything.

My weekend: A series of conversations

At 7:30 pm on Friday following an exhausting day at clinical-
Jenny: So do you wanna go out tonight?
Jules: I dunno. I'm kind of exhausted. I don't think I'm up for it.
Jenny: You're no fun!
Jules: Well I've been on my feet all day... since 6:30...
Jenny: I didn't say it wasn't legitimate. I just said you're no fun.
Jules: Fine. Come over.

While leaving the house-
Jenny: [takes off glasses and goes to "clean" them on the nearest piece of cloth-- a pair of jeans I had hung up to dry]
Jules: What are you doing?! DON'T DO THAT!!
Jenny: Jesus. Of all the things you've yelled at me for.... Of all the things you could have yelled at me for....

At the first bar-
Jenny: Can I get a vanilla vodka and-
Bartender: No. Beer and wine only
Jenny: Oh, um... a... Stella?
Bartender: You got it.
Jules: Same here.
Bartender: Okay [goes to get drinks]
Jenny: I had to try so hard to think of a beer besides PBR.

Later-
Jenny: Check out the guy in the turquoise shirt.
Jules: What about these douchebags behind us?
Douchebag 1: Did you just call us douchebags?
Jules: Oh, um. No. Haha! I meant... those guys over there. Haha!
Jenny: No! Ha! [engages in witty banter with Douchebag 2; lets him try on her glasses].
Douchebag 1: So those glasses really make you guys look smarter. Seriously, it adds like 20 points to your IQ.
Jules: Okay...


Later-
Jules: Check out this creep behind me.
Jenny: You mean the guy staring at me?
Jules: What? [tries to look over shoulder]
Jenny: Don't look at him. No! Don't look at him! No! Stop trying to look at him! No! Stop it!

In line at the club-
Jenny: We need to take pictures.

Still in line-
Guy 1: Is that a Trojan tattoo with roses?
Jules: Yep.
Guy 1: That's awesome!
[Jules & Jen meet the medical students. Introductions.]
Guy 2: So what do you guys do?
Jenny: I work at UCSC, she goes to nursing school.
Guy 2: Oh that's cool. We totally rely on nurses.
Jules: Um...

In the club-
[Jen & Jules stare around in complete sensory overload. There are no words to describe it....]
Jenny: What's with all the creepy weirdos?
Jules: What's with all the guys singing the song lyrics?
Jenny: What's with all the guys dancing with each other?
Jules: What's with all the guys in V neck shirts?
Jenny: What's with the music?
Jules: What's with the crazy people on the stage?


Later-
Douchebag: How old are you?
Jenny: 26 [holds up fingers]
Douchebag: 26?
Jenny: yeah
Douchebag: [walks away]
Jenny: Oh my god. He thinks I'm an old bar hag.

Saturday-
Jenny: I'm too sick to go to my conference.
Jules: I don't know if I believe you actually had a conference. You've barely mentioned it, you didn't write anything about it and you can't seem to describe it to me.
Jenny: Wanna see my nametag?

At Denny's
Jenny: Did you go in the handicapped stall?
Jules: [confused look]
Jenny: In the bathroom? Did you see the little short toilet? Oh, wait. Did you not go to the bathroom?
Jules: I haven't left the table.

In a bar-
Jules: Two Kamakazi shots please.
Bartender: That's ten dollars.
Jules: [tries to hand him credit card]
Bartender: You don't have cash?
Jules: No.
Bartender: You don't have ten dollars cash?
Jules: No.
Bartender: [sighs in frustration]
Later-
Jenny: Can I get a Stella please?
Bartender: Do you have cash?
Jenny: No.
Bartender: Forget it; I don't have time for this.
[I feel the need to point out that this was at a touristy bar with no minimum charge policy, on a Saturday night, in Union Square in San Francisco...]

In the second bar-
Bouncer: [standing between Jules & Jen, staring off into the distance] I've been to LA in 1993..... people don't know how bad it is there.... it's pretty bad.... but yeah I went there a long time ago.... I've been to Philly too... it's pretty bad there....
Jenny: Oh one of my best friends lives in Philly, she-
Bouncer: And I've been to Pittsburgh.... I think Pittsburgh was the worst place I've been.... Boston's pretty bad too.... I've been to Boston.... [walks away suddenly to card some people]
Jenny: Um. What the fuck?!
Jules: I DON'T KNOW.
[Bouncer comes back and resumes his speech as though he's never been away]
Bouncer: And I've been to New York.... that's probably the worst place I've ever been.... Philly is pretty bad, though.... but I think maybe New York is the worst place I've been.... [walks away again]
Jenny: We're leaving.
Jules: So I don't remember-- did we say something like "Can you please list for us the cities you've been to? And were any of them bad?"

Sunday morning-
[alarm clock goes off]
Jenny: NO!
Jules: What time do you want me to set-
Jenny: NO!!!
Jules: Okay, nevermind.


You can read Jenny's version of the events here.