Gripes

A few words and phrases that irritate me, for your reading pleasure.

"Conversate" - Because it's not a word.

"Irregardless" - Also not a word.

"Orientate"- Apparently used widely in the UK, but I'm holding fast to my original belief that it is not a word.

"Myself"- When people use it incorrectly, such as "If anyone has a question, talk to Jon or myself." Jon or me, people, Jon or ME!

"That's a made up holiday." Yeah, well. They all were at some point.

"I'm a really good drunk driver."- No. YOU'RE NOT.

"Sherpa"- when used in reference to boots or other products with sheepskin in them. Because I'm sorry, but unless you've skinned a Himalayan mountain guide, your jacket IS NOT LINED WITH SHERPA.

Ring.

I saw New Moon on Thanksgiving day. It was fun, entertaining, ridiculous, tweeny, whatever. But I want to talk about the most disturbing part about it. And no, I don't mean how it glorifies suicide and reckless behavior or how Bella is a total bitch for stringing along nice, hawt Jacob the entire time while pining for sallow, emo Edward.

No, I want to talk about Bella's moonstone ring. Did you notice it? How could you not? She wore it throughout the whole movie. Every time you saw her hands it was like Look! Ring! Apparently this was something she had in the books. I didn't remember it but according to Wiki answers it's true.

Ring.

What could possibly be disturbing about this, you ask? Well only the fact that I have been wearing a moonstone ring on my right index finger for the past SIX years.

Here I am the day before Thanksgiving:

Ring.

And on Halloween:

Ring.

Probably two and a half years ago:

Ring.

Threeish years ago:

Ring. (Plus shorter hair and absent tattoo).

SHALL I GO ON?

Seriously. I HAD IT FIRST. I am so not looking forward to this becoming a "thing" and people asking me if I wear it because of the books/movies. Because no. NONONONONONONONONO.

And then he had the munchies.

My nieces and nephews got Bowie a Christmas present. He found it and opened it just a tad early.

Look closely, he also gnawed his way through the plastic on that stocking. And then he spent the rest of the evening totally H-I-G-H off catnip... running up and down the hall, staring at things really closely, scooching along the ground on his back, getting startled whenever someone came near him. Now I remember why I don't usually keep catnip in my house.

You'd think I would have whiter teeth.

So I was halfway home before I realized I had left my entire bag of toiletries at my parents' house. I am most irritated about the fact that I left my new makeup. I had been doing essentially the same makeup routine for, oh, four or five years. But then a couple weeks ago I finally quit making excuses, went into Sephora and had the nice man there tell me what eye makeup to buy and how to put it on. It does look splendid, if I do say so. But then I left it at my parents' house. It's really no big deal but I DID want to wear makeup, say, tomorrow.

Fortunately, I do have spare deodorant, hairbrush, hair goo, etc. And toothpaste. Do I have toothpaste! Apparently dental care supplies are something I'm frequently worried (paranoid?) that I will run out of. So I buy them when I see them. Which means that when I opened my bathroom drawer to look for a new toothbrush and tube of toothpaste I found this:


Yeah. I think I'm all set.

Thankful

I am absolutely brimming with gratitude this Thanksgiving. It may have something to do with the champagne.

Today I am especially thankful for...

... my family. For them sticking by me, no questions asked. For them loving me, wholly, fiercely. For the deafening chaos that reigns in the house during the holiday season. For the beautiful, amazing children who scramble about underfoot and drive us all up the wall.

... my friends. They who caught me when I fell, hard. Who believed that I was strong even when I didn't believe it myself. Everyone who listened listened listened when I needed to talk. The friends who gave advice and tangible solutions. The old friends, the new friends, and the friends I've never even met in "real life" who offered to help me in any way they could. The school friends who told me they wouldn't let me screw up, that they'd help me get through this quarter. Everyone who encouraged and cheered me on. Everyone who offered me a place to crash, a shoulder to cry on, a hug, or a snarky comment. Everyone who has been my drinking buddy.

... myself. I have a new found energy. I am lucky and happy and healthy and have a life full of love and possibilities.

For all this, and so much more, I am thankful.

Music to my Ears

Some people have those fancy newfangled programs on their iphones or ipods or whatevers where you hold up your device to a radio speaker and it will *ding!* magically tell you whatever is playing. Well I don't have that yet. When I hear a song that I like, I scramble for a scrap of paper and a writing impliment and I start scribbling down the lyrics as fast as I can. Then I google the lyrics and voila! I've found the song I want to download!

A few weeks ago I was wandering around Nordstrom and I came to a dead stop underneath one of their speakers because, wow, there was a good song playing. I whipped out my phone and franticallly texted myself the lyrics to this FANTASTIC song. I went home, googled it, downladed it off itunes, put it on a mix cd and have since been perpetually playing it in my car.

I am shamefully ready to announce the name of that song: Keep it Real. By the Jonas Brothers.

You may commence with the mocking.

Fluff Ball

I gave Bowie a bath the other day. He spent the rest of the day alternating between glaring at me and curling up by the heater.

I didn't rip your face off becuz you feeds me.

advice from my mama

We don't call boys.

Bubble baths are amazing.

Don't be such a smart alec.

Learn how to cook one thing really well so you can always bring it to parties.

When the person on the phone asks for you, you say "This is she."

If you find a pair of jeans you like, buy them.

Try new things.

Talk to your teachers.

If a relationship doesn't seem like it's going anywhere, get out.

People would rather hear wrong information than none at all.

You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.

Go to college. Major in something academic.

Someday you'll be happy you had braces as a kid.

Celebrate holidays whenever the family can be together, God will understand.

Reward yourself.

Always bring a bathing suit.

Try to do something you love, but you're going to need money too.

Every woman alive loves Chanel No. 5.


(inspired by Miss Grace & Mighty Girl)

Touché.

The following is a conversation I had with my smarty pants little niece:

Are you ever going to have babies?

Well, yes, I want to have babies. But first I have to wait till I have one of these (indicating my empty ring finger) like your mommy has.

You DO have a ring right there on your other finger.

That's right, I do. But it's not quite the same thing. First I want to get married and then I'll have babies. I'll give you lots of little cousins, okay? Does that sound good?

No.

Why not?

You don't even have a boyfriend!

That time again

I need a haircut. Breaking news, right? Somebody call the president! Whatever. I do.

I like my hair's length and I like that I've finally given up on the idea that blond highlights look good on me (they don't). Last time I went in, the stylist decided that violet panels were the way to go. I'm very happy with how they turned out, how they faded into a color I didn't hate, and how they blend with the rest of my hair. She also gave me bangs. I am much less happy about those. I tend to wear my hear like this, to avoid having to deal with them at all:

I am not flipping you off, I assure you.

I think maybe part of the problem is that I asked for "sweep acrossy bangs" and so she cut them in such a way that they require a lot of styling but really my MAIN desire for hair maintenance is Low Effort. Maybe I didn't make that clear enough.

So. What do you think, shall I try for bangs again? And, if so, what specifically do I say?

Things I would have never done in LA

Since I lived in LA for eight years, I tend to say that I'm "from" there (despite the fact that I lived in the city where I grew up for eighteen years). I loved living in LA and I was sad to leave. But it turns out that I like San Francisco, too. I tell people this: "I thought I would just tolerate living here for 3 years, but I actually really like it!" and then they look at me funny because all they asked was "how's it goin?"

Here's a short list of things that I do now that I probably would not have done in LA:

- take public trans instead of drive
- walk instead of take public trans
- have separate garbage receptacles for trash, recycle, AND compost
- experience a reverse commute
- use the term "reverse commute"
- get farm fresh fruits and veggies delivered to my door
- eat farm fresh fruits and veggies
- drink water from a Klean Kanteen
- drink water
- wear layers
- use glass tupperware
- bring my own silverware to school
- use cloth napkins
- search high and low for organic milk in glass bottles

Look at me, I'm turning into a Bay Area hippie!

Shelvish

So the storage space in my bedroom has always kind of bothered me. Rather, the lack of usable and organizable storage space in my bedroom has bothered me. Let me show you what I mean:


The desk is too low and too in a corner for me to ever have the desire to sit at it. So I crammed some drawers under it and made it into a makeshift dresser area. But then I started piling stuff on top of it and that got out of hand. So now that area is a storage/mess region. And the shelves. THE SHELVES.

Notice anything missing?


Seriously. Want a hint?


See? MISSING SHELVES. So my question is this: why would they add built-in shelf space without including the shelves? What is the purpose of these large box-areas? Am I supposed to be displaying art or hunting trophies there? I know I know, the shelving would be be easy to add. I've already set this in motion by whining to most of the boys I know so hopefully it will happen soon. But still. Why aren't the shelves already there?

Congrats Ms. Pants!

I had to pick a winner for my giveaway, and random number generators are just not that fun, so I made a sticky note for everyone who entered:


Then I crumpled 'em up:


And shut my eyes, mixed them around, and plucked one out:


And the winner is Molly Pants! Congrats, my dear! Email me, willya?

Today,

I bought milk in glass bottles. I had been looking for them for a couple of weeks-- first at Safeway, then at Trader Joe's and then back at Safeway again because I wished so hard they carried it. What I REALLY want is an actual dairy service like they had in the days of yore (not you're or your). You know, where the delivery man would bring bottles to your doorstep and then father your illegitimate children? But for that to happen I guess you first need a dairy nearby. And a delivery man. And, well, a doorstep. So I'm settling for buying milk in glass bottles. I switched to organic milk a few weeks ago and YOWZA is there a difference. Num. That's all I need to say. And then it started bugging me that I was drinking organic milk from plastic bottles because that just seems wrong. So now, thanks to Whole Foods, I'll be buying glass bottled milk.

And, yes, my glass bottle milk buying is ALL I would like to talk about for today. I'm certainly not getting into this.

P.S. There is still time to enter my giveaway (that Tuesday Nov 17 deadline is pretty meh)! I'm throwing in a Flip & Tumble bag, for the winner, too!

Classy N Stuff

(Written by Miss Grace)

This weekend, we:

• Drank vodka out of a water bottle in a CVS parking lot.
• Found myself on the wrong side of watching the sun rise.
• NARROWLY avoided an Everclear concert. At Club Disney (henceforth whenever you find yourself in a less than ideal situation, remind yourself, "Self," you'll say, "At least you aren't at an Everclear concert. In Anaheim."
• While ragging on said concert, said that I (Jenny) couldn't think of a single band I would rather see LESS. Ten minutes later, we've sort of moved on to a new subject, Turducken says, "What about Nickelback?" Touché.
• Watched this fight. And...um....enjoyed it? I (Jenny) don't like boxing. At all.
• Drove. A LOT.
• Changed in the street. As in, the kind of changing where you get naked. As in, the middle of the street.
• Some other stuff, but it's not seeming very clear just now.
  

A moment from our drive (redacted)

We spent a lot of time in the car. Having many conversations like this one:

[Redacted cuz it had a little too much work info in there]

Did you know that Jessica Rabbit wears a red dress? Jenny thought it was purple...

I wanna text you up

I recently had to change my phone number. Since then, every once in awhile I'll get a text message from a number I don't know saying something like this:

So I got c b a a b b d a d c c d c a d b d a b Tell me what u got.

Or,

I think num 17 is a not c right?

Today I wrote back: Wrong number... Maybe you should try studying instead.

Maybe they will?

NP WK!

Guess what? It's National Nurse Practitioner Week!

As someone who is currently in NP school, I've noticed that many people seem to be unclear as to the actual ROLE of a nurse practitioner. How is it different from a regular nurse? they ask. Why would you go through all this extra training and not just go to med school instead? Oh, you'll be able to write prescriptions... will you write me one for Vicodin?

Even though I answer people's questions and I feel like I explain the role of an NP pretty well, it's hard to know how to say it in a succinct, easy-to-understand way.

Until today, when I saw this:


YES.

So, in honor of National Nurse Practitioner Week I'm having a giveaway!

Remember this book? And how it helped me transform my kitchen? And soon, my bedroom? And then, MY LIFE?

Want one for yourself? With an AWESOME NP Week bookmark to go with it? Well here's whatcha do:

- Leave me a comment by TUESDAY NOVEMBER 17, telling me about the area of your house that could use the most help from this book-- I'm thinking "cluttered" or "disorganized" as opposed to "dirty" or "in need of redecorating" but whatever, really. I'll pick a winner in one of those fair, randomish ways people do and mail you the book + bookmark. And then you'll be happy because you won a contest and got a little something in the mail and you never win contests or get fun mail (or is that just me?).

For bonus entries:

• Take a pic of that area of your house and email it to me royaljewels dot feelings at gmail dot com. I'll post it here and use it for NaBloPoMo because I'm running out of ideas.
  
• Go out and hug your favorite nurse practitioner and/or nurse practitioner student. Leave me a comment and let me know you did. Honor system, I'll believe you!

Sound good? Happy NP Week!

Life's a Piknik

There was so much awesomeness from this weekend, even more than what the pictures show. But here are a few of my faves.







I really wish there was photographic evidence of the following: An unbelievably awkward cab ride to the Castro wherein Aman horribly offended the driver by asking, "so how's business?" Swimming + bloody marys + Cody wearing my short shorts. Eating at that restaurant on Saturday morn and realizing that NO ONE was seated around us because we were being so charismatic* and boisterous.** Jenny instructing the boys on the CORRECT way to pull a girl's hair.


*obnoxious
**loud

Grammar Lesson

Your vs. You're

Your= The possessive form of you.
As in: Your bad attitude. Your insane beliefs. Your inappropriate and disrespectful behavior.

You're= You are.
As in: You're spiteful. You're fired. You're not allowed to contact me anymore.

An example of both in the same sentence: You're trying to manipulate me and I will not play your games.